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Why you gotta be so cruel? Don't you write bad intros, too?

Ben Paulsen, 1B, Rockies
In a shocking twist of fate that few could've seen coming before the season began, Justin Morneau has been placed on the disabled list, this time with a neck injury. Morneau had been enjoying a very nice year in Colorado, but given his propensity for missing games, you should've been keeping stock of his replacements all along. Many assumed Kyle Parker would eventually get the call for one-half of the former "M&M boys," but instead it's the relatively unknown Paulsen who gets the nod.

As a 26-year-old in Triple-A, Paulsen isn't a prospect, and I didn't know who he was until about six weeks ago. He's been quite good in over 900 PA at Triple-A now, though, hitting 18 homers last year and already hitting 15 in just 400 PA in 2014. He's not going to be a long-term option for the Rockies, obviously, but he has power and he should get semi-regular PT in Coors over the next few weeks. You know what that means.

Danny Santana, SS/OF, Twins
Santana first entered my fantasy consciousness (is that a thing?) last year, when I went to see the Sea Dogs play the Rock Cats in a matchup featuring Miguel Sano, Garin Cecchini, Eddie Rosario, and Anthony Ranaudo. Santana didn't stand out above any of those players, but he did catch my eye as someone who I thought could contribute meaningfully at the major league level.

We're still not entirely sure if Santana can or can't be a legitimate MLB starter, but the early returns have been quite good, albeit aided by a .398 BABIP. Santana can run and has some bat-to-ball ability, and if he ever learns to take the occasional walk, it's not hard to see him developing into enough of an offensive threat to play on a daily basis for a second-division team. Fortunately, Santana finds himself on such a team right now, and his status as a leadoff man with MI eligibility makes him reasonably attractive in 20-team leagues. He's not going to keep hitting for a .300-plus average, but he'll be of some use as we move forward.

Obligatory Don't Pick Up Dan Uggla Reminder of the Week: Dan Uggla, 2B, Giants
Nope. Don't do it. You might want to, because you remember baseball in the mid-2000s. You might want to, because "how could the Giants' second base situation get worse?" You might want to because you really, really need power. But nope. Don't.

Uggla hit just .162/.241/.231 in 145 plate appearances this year. He hit .179/.309/.362 in 2013, and .220/.348/.384 in 2012. This is not a player who's poised for any kind of a bounce back, and I'd be surprised if he even makes it back to the majors. Don't you do it. Don't you dare.

Deep League Streamer of the Week: Tsuyoshi Wada, LHP, Cubs
I think this is the 423rd week in a row I've picked a starter going against the Padres, but all's fair in love and streamers. Wada's Triple-A numbers this season are pretty cute, and while he's not going to be as good as his 2.77 ERA in Iowa suggests, he's also probably good enough to be a back-end major league starter.

The Padres, as you may have heard, are not a good offensive club. In fact, with just 291 runs scored, they're nearly 80 runs behind the second-worst team (the Cardinals, oddly enough) and are on a historically inept pace. That makes any semi-competent pitcher who faces them a must-start, and while Wada would be a better bet in Petco than at Wrigley, this is still too good to pass up.

Twitter Question of the Week:

This isn't quite a dynasty league question, given the normal league size, but it's the question I received this week that I most want to answer nonetheless, so here we are. Often times, I rail against those who overvalue prospects in trades and would rather acquire flashy names and high-risk propositions than simply settle for good ole' fashion productive big leaguers.

But this is a situation, dear reader, in which I say "dear god yes, take the prospect package immediately." David Price is a good pitcher and likely will continue to be for some time, but Taveras and Bryant are two potential cornerstone pieces, and either would be fine as the main piece coming back in a Price deal. If you can manage to get both, you should do so immediately.

Player Namedrop of the Week: Neifi Perez
Random RP Who Will Earn a Win: Paco Rodriguez, Angels
Random Backup Who Will Homer: Travis Snider, Pirates
Xander Bogaerts Adjective: Recovering