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The keys to life: how to tweet, how to eat in a non-destructive fashion, and how to use animals to diffuse your existential terror.

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Matt dissects a Jose Altuve commercial, Craig dissects a Jered Weaver tweet, and Mary unmasks the robots behind the plate.

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David hacks the Cardinals and discovers drafts of the team's infamous promotional tweet, while Trevor comes to terms with another way the system gets gamed.

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You can learn a lot in line at Chipotle, but the Joey Gallo question is a little tougher.

Along an arterial road in the Dallas-Fort Worth sprawl, a hulking 6-foot-5 man in a black v-neck t-shirt simply seeks a burrito. At the local Chipotle, he finds a line of a half-dozen already formed, and silently takes his place behind a much more modestly built man of similar age.

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Steve Clevenger's tweets got him suspended by the Mariners, but the issue runs deeper than one backup catcher.

The Mariners' Social Media Night was set in a Spartan venue: seven tall chairs arranged against the outside wall of the stadium, with the faded brick of Pioneer Square and a single American flag as the backdrop. The gray concrete combined with a mixture of wind and crowd noise to give the event a strangely somber air considering the nature of the proceedings. Somewhere around 50 fans, clutching free t-shirts and sipping complimentary beverages, clapped as members of the social media team, local press, and players took turns talking about their social media experiences.

Mariners general manager Jerry Dipoto arrived and took the microphone, and the natural question arose: do you have an overarching policy for how players should behave on social media?

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What we can learn about people in baseball by studying their Twitter follows.

When we last undertook this exercise, it brought us to some pretty unfortunate depths. Using the list of Twitter follows to probe baseball’s greats and sideshows taught us more than we’d ever like to know about Wade Boggs’ taste in porn stars, Magic Johnson’s apathy toward baseball, and Major League Baseball’s thirst for the 140-word dispatches of a company called Credit Donkey.

One year later, we’re back with a bunch more—some active players, a power-on-power couple of retired players, and one of your favorite writers and mine. What can we learn from only the list of people they follow?

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November 21, 2013 6:00 am

Skewed Left: My Column: The Jokes the Internet Killed in 2013


Zachary Levine

The year in baseball memes that were funny, before we destroyed them.

I made a dumb Shelby Miller joke in the comments to my last article about MVP voting biases. It wasn't my first. It was probably my last, but either way, I feel worse about it because it piggybacked off another dumb tired joke.

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May 8, 2013 5:00 am

Fantasy Freestyle: Ask the Experts


Mike Gianella

Mike explains how to utilize experts' advice to become the best fantasy player you can be.

In Kurt Vonnegut’s Hocus Pocus, Eugene Debs Hartke spends the latter half of the novel teaching inmates in a prison in upstate New York. While he was able to teach some of his students successfully, some were merely interested in using Hartke as a walking encyclopedia.

(some of the inmates) used me as an ambulatory Guinness Book of World Records, asking me who the oldest person in the world was, the richest one, the woman who had had the most babies, and so on.

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December 14, 2012 5:00 am

Skewed Left: The Company They Tweet


Zachary Levine

You can learn a lot about a baseballer by the people he follows.

It can be hard to learn a lot from a ballplayer’s tweets, which are mostly 140-character treatises on what you want to hear. Luckily, there is a column right next to his tweets that can reveal a little bit more. People tweet what they’re supposed to tweet, but for the most part, they follow whom they want to follow. Their follows are a window to their interests, their reading lists, their playlists and their senses of humor.

For instance, if you were to look at a certain Baseball Prospectus writer’s list of follows, you’d find that he’s inappropriately attached to two cities where he no longer lives, he’s the only 27-year-old on the planet who gets instantaneous thoroughbred racing news, and the only parody account he finds funny is this one.

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What some of the reactions to last week's collision revealed.

Believe it or not, most of our writers didn't enter the world sporting an @baseballprospectus.com address; with a few exceptions, they started out somewhere else. In an effort to up your reading pleasure while tipping our caps to some of the most illuminating work being done elsewhere on the internet, we'll be yielding the stage once a week to the best and brightest baseball writers, researchers and thinkers from outside of the BP umbrella. If you'd like to nominate a guest contributor (including yourself), please drop us a line.

Hunter Felt blogs about baseball, basketball and assorted U.S. sports for the The Guardian. He has contributed to Pop Matters and Et tu, Mr. Destructo? He also is occasionally (not) Terry Francona on Twitter in the guise of @NotCoachTito. You can follow him as himself as @HunterFelt where he mainly just makes really snarky jokes about life in Somerville, MA and raves about his kickass girlfriend.

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A Detroit Tigers pitcher corrects a Detroit Tigers writer on Twitter, because this is the world we live in.

The Tigers are going through a bit of a bullpen crisis, and late Monday night, Detroit News​ columnist Lynn Henning took to Twitter to speculate that the team might have to make a 40-man move to bring in a fresh arm. According to Henning, the most likely guy to go looks like right-hander Thad Weber, who pitched four innings for the Tigers in April but has otherwise spent the last couple seasons allowing a whole lot of homers for Triple-A Toledo.

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On Opening Day, the action is new, but the jokes are old.

There’s a Robert Frost poem called “Icewater Puddles” that you’ve probably read. It’s about a young husband who walks slowly along a snowy path to his factory job each day but then races back home in the evening, because he’s so excited to see his wife. The closing couplet is, of course, this:

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