Ike Davis retired last Tuesday. You missed it. Let’s say you were busy that day. Some of those who did spot the news quipped “He was still playing?”, because you were on edge and you are not really like that, honestly. It’s fine. Ike didn’t retire with a speech about the military-industrial complex or anything remotely clickbaity: His agent told someone and someone told the internet. It was so chill and absent of drama, you would have thought Tim Duncan was retiring. It’s a shame though, because nobody had Ike Davis‘ MLB career but Isaac Benjamin Davis.