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No one likes giving up hits to Bryce Harper, but 35 pitchers already have. What if we told you you there was a better way?

If you want to retire Bryce Harper every time he comes to the plate*, just try our patented 76-86 MPH Slider!™ The Yankees did on Saturday, and now you can, too! Once you do, you won't want to throw him anything else!

First inning:

Third inning:

Fifth inning:

10th inning:

Totals for Harper's first five at-bats, as seen on TV: 19 pitches, 16 76-86 MPH Sliders™, one golden sombrero. And don't forget the 14th!

14th inning:

So don't do what Andy Pettitte did in the seventh inning, when he threw Harper an 88-mph fastball that he lined sharply to center field. That foolish fastball almost turned into a hit. Do you want â€‹to give up hits to Bryce Harper? We didn't think so! So send away for a 76-86 MPH Slider™ today!

*Results not guaranteed. Before today, Bryce Harper had batted .364 and slugged .636 against sliders in June.

But wait, there's more! For a limited time only, order now, and we'll throw in an 82 MPH Splitter™ at no extra charge! Perfect for the days when the game goes to extras and Harper has already hit five times and seen 18 sliders!

​12th inning:

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Watching Harper bat today was just painful. For some reason he got in his head today and said 'I'm gonna swing at every pitch, no matter what!". Maybe trying a little too hard to impress his favorite childhood team?

It wasn't nearly as painful as watching Lidge pitch though. I knew the game was over the moment I saw him walk to the mound.
This was hilarious!