MUDVILLE – Mighty Casey has struck out again. In a shocking revelation, the legendary slugger known to generations from the poem bearing his name admitted yesterday that he had used anabolic steroids during his playing career.
“It seems like ten thousand eyes have always been on me, even after I left the game, and I need to be honest with them and with myself,” Casey read in a prepared statement. He did not take questions.
In the statement, the revered slugger who spent the majority of his career with Mudville, but also played with three other teams at the end of his career, said that he had been introduced to steroids by former Mudville teammate Jimmy Blake. Blake, who admitted to steroid use three years ago told Baseball Prospectus by phone that “everyone always despised me and considered me a cake, and I felt a lot of pressure to change that. And then one day, Casey asked me about my workout plan and I told him all about it. A lot of the guys on that team were into it. Barrows and Flynn started about the same time as Casey.” Barrows, Flynn, and their respective lawyers declined comment for this story.
For his part, Casey stated that he had acted “foolishly and immaturely” and that he “deeply regretted the harm that he had done to the integrity of the game.” He ended his speech with a tearful apology to his wife, who was seated next to him, saying that he felt that he had let her down the most. Casey said that he had taken the steroids during his last “three or four years” in Mudville.
Reaction from Mudville residents was mixed. Daniel Moore, a 42-year-old fan, said of the situation, “I mean I used to sit in those stands and yell, but sometimes when he [Casey] got two strikes on him, you could see that he was mad, and maybe a little too mad. I mean he would go from all smiling to tensed up and sneering at a moment’s notice. I never figured it might be 'roid rage.” Asked whether he still thought that Casey deserved a shot at the Hall of Fame, Moore replied, “Maybe.”
Luther Wyclef of nearby Crystal Springs had a different take. “I have an old custom Casey jersey, and you know what, I’m gonna do? Go home and throw it away. What kind of message would I be sending to my kids if I wore it? I mean I was one of those guys who used to yell ‘kill the umpire’ but now we gotta start thinking about what message we’re sending to our children.” Wyclef added, “When you’re a Mudville fan, you get used to a lot of joyless days, but this might be the lowest of all of them.”
Although Casey did not take questions after the press conference, a report surfaced that his legal team is in negotiations for a tell-all special edition of the Oprah Winfrey Show to discuss the steroid issue.