Happy Labor Day! Regularly Scheduled Articles Will Resume on Tuesday, September 2.
June 16, 2012
How to Get Bryce Harper Out Every Time
No one likes giving up hits to Bryce Harper, but 35 pitchers already have. What if we told you you there was a better way?
If you want to retire Bryce Harper every time he comes to the plate*, just try our patented 76-86 MPH Slider!™ The Yankees did on Saturday, and now you can, too! Once you do, you won't want to throw him anything else!
Totals for Harper's first five at-bats, as seen on TV: 19 pitches, 16 76-86 MPH Sliders™, one golden sombrero. And don't forget the 14th!
So don't do what Andy Pettitte did in the seventh inning, when he threw Harper an 88-mph fastball that he lined sharply to center field. That foolish fastball almost turned into a hit. Do you want to give up hits to Bryce Harper? We didn't think so! So send away for a 76-86 MPH Slider™ today!
*Results not guaranteed. Before today, Bryce Harper had batted .364 and slugged .636 against sliders in June.
But wait, there's more! For a limited time only, order now, and we'll throw in an 82 MPH Splitter™ at no extra charge! Perfect for the days when the game goes to extras and Harper has already hit five times and seen 18 sliders!