December 27, 2005
The Year in Quotes
2005 in Review
DO YOU THINK MY BEING STRONGER OR FASTER HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH MUSCLES IN THIS PLACE?
"I was tired of seeing 5-foot-8 guys hit the ball as far as I do.... I'm not going to shrink. I'm not going to change into a smaller person, so it's going to be nice to make it a level playing field."
"Why do you keep asking the same question? I'm not a child. You repeat things to children and then eventually they tell you; I don't."
"I don't know what cheating is. I don't know if steroids [are] going to help you in baseball. I don't believe steroids can help your eye-hand coordination, technically hit a baseball. That's just my opinion."
"Canseco, you've got to come with a whole lot more than what you're talking about, and fiction's fiction, man. There's a whole bunch of those books and stories out there, basically to make a buck. That's all it is."
"This is old stuff. I mean, it's like watching 'Sanford and Son,' rerun after rerun after rerun. We've got alcohol that's the No. 1 killer in America and we legalize that to buy in the store. You've got tobacco number two or three killer in America; we legalize that. There are other issues."
"Allow the drug testing program to work...let's go forward. You cannot rehash the past. If that's the case, we're going to go way back into 19th, 18th centuries in rehashing the past and we'll crush a lot of things in a lot of sports.... We can go back into the 1800s and basically asterisk a lot of sports if that's what you choose."
"I'm going to put a sign up over my locker. It's going to say, 'Knee is improving. Steroids are bad.' That's going to be the standing comments for the entire spring. That's why I'm getting the sign up, because I know they'll never change."
"That's not for me to determine. I hope that people look at my whole career and appreciate that I have given everything I've got. I respect the game, I respect my opponents, I respect the players who have come before me."
"I think it's pretty good. If I were the philosopher-king, I would make the sanctions somewhat stiffer somewhat earlier. I'm a little bitter about the sanction issue because I threw Steve Howe out of baseball after seven drug violations, and the (players') union claimed that he deserved another chance. Why is eight a better number than seven? It seems to me that after two, maybe three, you forfeit your right to play baseball. I would be tougher on the sanctions. I think baseball has made progress. I think the testing is working. The fact that it coughed up a prominent player like Palmeiro is impressive. I think baseball can feel good about what's happened, though the existence of the problem is an embarrassment to everybody."
"It's kind of ridiculous that you get a 10-game suspension for steroids and a six-game suspension for milk."
THERE IS NO SPOON
"It might have been turned on really loud.... Sometimes the speakers will blow if it's turned up really loud. That has happened, especially if it wasn't, like, Sony. Some of the electronics out there nowadays can't handle the decibels a lot of times."
"Doing the relieving thing, I don't have enough time to think of things like that. Although I know that one of the White Sox players, I heard, is using some sort of atomic bomb in his jockstrap."
"The sun was bad, but was it any worse than it's been the last 10,000 years? I'm gonna say no."
"I need to get down here early so all you media guys can say I'm being a good leader."
I LIVE FOR THIS
"Today, I was walking out the door and my oldest one, Koby, said, 'Dad, don't say something, anything, about retiring, because I might be in the big leagues in a couple of years and I want a piece of you."
"And I miss looking that pitcher in the eye. I can't look my son in the eye when he's throwing me a Wiffle ball and say, 'I'm going to rip one off your forehead.'"
"When you're 25, you can eat hamburgers and pizza and drink beer and stay out all night and come out the next day and drink a couple cups of coffee and just play. If I did that today, my heart would stop and I'd need a stretcher and an IV. I started kind of noticing that in my early 30's, and now that I'm in my mid-to-late 30's, it's even that much more."
"If that's not the play of the year, I'll protest. He had better not get a girlfriend between now and the ESPY's, because I want to go with him."
"Where else do you get to approach your job and get to choose the music playing before you go ahead and do your work? If you go into an office meeting, no one's going to play music for you when you open that door up."
"I could have left after the pregame. It was everything I wanted it to be. It was one of the rare moments in my job when you are proud to be commissioner."
VIEW FROM THE TOP
"If I'm going to get chased around the shower, it's going to be by my wife."
"I've never really seen that. I didn't even notice it until the last at-bat when somebody said something to me."
"He's a guy who's gotten better. I remember my old general manager Al Campanis telling me that a player doesn't reach his peak until he's somewhere between 32 or 36 [years old] and beyond, and it depends on how his legs are and his desire and if he keeps his weight down and his waistline down. I don't see D-Lee having any problem with that."
"Most of these guys have never been in this situation, but I have. And I have to lead them. You might want to go to your room, call your mom and cry. But when you come to the ballpark and put on the uniform, you have to be a man. I have 30 men to lead."
"After games, I go home and watch Venezuelan soap operas. Before I'd watch 'Baseball Tonight.' Now I can't watch it anymore."
"You cannot buy a World Series ring on the streets. Ask Alex Rodriguez, he's got millions of dollars and no rings. That's why I say, 'God bless Derek Jeter. He's got a lot of money and a lot of rings.'"
"Trying to win a 2-1 game here is like eating spaghetti in a white shirt. When you're done, you look down and say, 'My God, I didn't get any on me.'"
OFFENSE ON THE OFFENSIVE
"It's tough for me to talk about hitting when you are a real bad hitter. I have my philosophy. And I think my philosophy is not one that would help a lot of people."
"Everybody has his own way to hit. My philosophy is to keep your head down and swing. And I don't think too many people can do that. That's what I did all my career, keep my head down and swing and get lucky."
"People just dismiss Burnitz - 'He strikes out a lot. He can't do this, he can't do that.' If you look at it objectively, he was sixth in the game in slugging percentage of people who struck out more than 120 times. He hit .307 with men on base. He hits left-handers well. He hit .287 with men in scoring position. To me, he's not striking out at the wrong times. The analysis is being done."
"My game on paper really doesn't look good, but you appreciate it more if you see it on a daily basis. The things I do don't really show up in the box scores or the papers or things that people like to come see at a game."
"The Yankees have that guy [Tony] Womack [a second baseman] playing left field. If I can't play that position at least as well as he can, I'll hang up the spikes right now."
"We're the (expletive) Dodgers. We should be like the Yankees. The Yankees don't rebuild. They go out and get what they need to win. We have the resources to be like that; 3.6 million fans came out this year. We get, what, $40 million from TV revenue without doing a thing."
"That's manly. Journey is manly. Why is Journey not manly? I heard Joe Theismann say on the radio that Journey was his favorite group, and Theismann was pretty manly, wasn't he?"
"I would appreciate it if you identify us as Loyola Marymount University Los Angeles By The Sea Near Marina del Rey."
"I'm from Alabama, and they have a different alphabet."