It’s easy to forget, in the era of Retrosheet and the Play Index, that baseball statistics were once a precious thing. The daily box scores and leaderboards were as temporal as the newspaper they were printed on; the only way to appreciate a man’s career was to purchase an almanac, like the 1965 Sporting News Baseball Register. Dal Maxvill, longtime Cardinals shortstop, graces the cover mid-lunge/grunt, as well as a $5 price tag that equates to $37.98 today, or 100 packs of 1965 Topps baseball cards, which is worth perhaps somewhat more.
For the sake of the Internet I purchased a copy of this book at a local used bookshop for less than $5. It is unspectacular in most ways, listing career statistics dutifully and, in this age, unnecessarily. But the Register does contain some information lost to Baseball-Reference: Among its biographical information, written in the tone of a military manual, lies the player’s nickname and its origin story. This is a particular boon today, when we live in dark times for handles, as announcers mash together first initial and first syllable of last name, and managers add “-ey” to everything and call it a day. These nicknames are like the secrets of a lost civilization, a past that may one day be our future.
Given that context please enjoy, without comment, a selection of the golden age of monikers:
|
Player |
Nickname |
Nicknamer |
Cause of Nickname |
|
"Panque" |
Mother |
Born on the Feast Day of San Pancracio |
|
|
Roy Maxwell Alvis |
"Max" |
Parents |
Part of middle name |
|
"Reb" |
Teammates |
Only Southerner on minor league team |
|
|
Earl Battey Jr |
"Bateman" |
Teammates |
Teammates unsure how to pronounce last name |
|
Forrest Burgess |
"Smoky" |
Coach |
Speed on basepaths |
|
"Lefty" |
Boss |
Worked as pool boy as a teenager |
|
|
"Shoo-Shoo" |
Father |
Had large feet as a child |
|
|
"Krinkles" |
Unknown |
Unknown |
|
|
"Augie" |
Tex Rickards |
Tex was asked what his name was, got him confused with home plate umpire Augie Donatelli |
|
|
"Zeke" |
Schoolmates |
Asked his friends to call him something starting with Z |
|
|
"Catfish" |
Parents |
Ran away from home, returned with two catfish in hands |
|
|
John E. Kennedy |
"Red" |
Unknown |
Color of hair |
|
"Taters" |
Teammates |
Wrote down taters instead of potatoes on order form in team dining car |
|
|
Gerald Lyscio |
"Chic" |
Schoolmates |
Cried when kids refused to let him join activities |
|
"Tony" |
Self |
Used brother's passport to enter America |
|
|
Eugene Oliver |
"Sweet Ollie" |
Teenage Girls |
Appointed by fan club |
|
"Big Red" |
Sportswriter |
Color of hair |
|
|
Duane Sims |
"Duke" |
Coach |
Duane not considered masculine enough |
|
William Skowron |
"Moose" |
Grandfather |
Shortened form of Mussolini |
|
Ronald Theobald |
"The General" |
Trainer |
Physical resemblance to Napoloeon |
|
Thomas Tischinski |
"T-Bone" |
Unknown |
Loved eating steak |
|
Albert Walker |
"Rube" |
Hometown Citizen |
Man (also named Rube) transferred nickname because he was proud of him |
|
"Wingy" |
Bad arm, threw with hitch |
||
|
“Red” |
Unknown |
Color of hair |
|
|
"Gus" |
"Looked like a Gus" |
Thank you for reading
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