Bryce Harper’s MLB debut featured hype, Vin Scully, and then some more hype.
The ceremonial first pitches could be elevated in every sense; the Randy Dobnaks who don’t make it have a familiar sad story; but of course Bryce Harper inspired a petty pizza promotion gone wrong
Remembering a random team’s public failure more than one of your team’s happiest moments is a feature and a bug; will Mr. Walk-off do his surname once more?; Buddy just find your seat already, I’m trying to watch the game
A poem about a joke about a fastball declared to be “boring”; it turns out Airplane! referenced a fictitious baseball game while you had the lasagna; if you can’t put a bird on it, how about a top hat?