“There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in” was Leonard Cohen’s cheeky way of saying that every baseball team no matter its record will have their posterior handed to them at least once during a season. Teams try to hide behind their records and try to insist, pointing while chuckling at their position player pitching, this is all in good fun and actually this is fine, yet the whoopings do not abate.

The team’s broadcasters know all of this. They are also all human. As the metaphorical clocks are cleaned on the field, the literal clocks up in the booth do not stop. Particularly on the radio there is nowhere to hide, no opportunity to let the visuals of the ballpark fill the space and time.

I went back and found each MLB team’s biggest margin of defeat in 2019 and listened in to their local radio broadcast from the start of the 8th inning until its welcomed conclusion. For teams like the Pirates who lost by 13 runs four different times last season, I picked the bludgeoning closest to the middle of their year, since early losses could go down too smoothly, and late losses are easily assuaged with the upcoming offseason in a warmer locale. (Cleveland was the lone exception: they lost 13-0 on back-to-back late June nights in Baltimore somehow — the second game would just be remarks on coincidence, and ultimately not helpful in this important study.)

The exchanges and soliloquies into the void were edited for clarity. Pitch and ball in play descriptions were begrudgingly, yet dutifully, preserved when they did not completely derail from the conversation for a long time, since it is part of the music of this unique forced small talk. Anonymity was granted, but it is not guaranteed. Different games, broadcasts, and exchanges were divided by ***; as always the string of three stars does not indicate a rating of any kind.

The following was from American League broadcasts only. We also listened to the National League.

It was the end of a very long day.

Did I Mention I Know Matt Damon?

“I remember the flyover, think they were F-14s. Can I go to the really hardcore name drop story of the night? It is 10-2…I believe there were four of them. They came right over the left field wall, and it shook the park, it shook the neighborhood, I think the police and City Hall were getting calls thinking there’s an explosion or earthquake, dishes rattling or some sort of thing.

“So anyway, the Red Sox had a get-together afterwards for staff and people in the back of the clubhouse. I was there with a young actor by the name of Matt Damon and some other people. The Red Sox had sent a limo out to bring the four pilots in and they were in their jumpsuits, so we asked them ‘How high were you [flying]?’ And he said, ‘We have to be 1200 feet.’ We said, ‘1200 feet? There’s no way, you almost scraped the screen.’ ‘No, we were 1200 feet.’

“So they had a couple of pops, and Matt Damon went over again, being Matt Damon, he said, ‘No really…’ And they said, ‘Okay, it might have been 600.’ So I probably got those four just dejected out of the military, statute of limitations should be …

“They also told the story, the reason that there was a problem for them, they were wing to wing, and it was that time of night it was almost dark, and Donna Summer sang it I believe, and they had a tape of her having sung it so you knew exactly where they needed to be basically at every word to come over right on ‘the home of the brave’. Well live she went slower, which happens. So they had to do a loop over Cambridge, wing to wing, and they were not happy about it, because they would have come over too early.”

Remembering Dear(?) Father

“My dad gave me an incentive — well he said it more than once but — this was in high school and I wasn’t the greatest student in the entire building, but he would say to me after I brought a report card home which wasn’t that great, ‘Unless you do better’ — fastball strike on the inside corner, two and one to Fosythe — ‘Unless you do better, and get better grades, you will end up as a bum in Skid Row in Chicago.’”

“So not only did he predict what you were going to do but where you were going to do it?”

“Oh yeah. And how I would look. Hehe, ball three, three and one. I didn’t know what Skid Row was and I guess I kind of figured it out. I knew by the way he said it I didn’t want to be there. So, did my grades improve? Eh, not much, but a little bit. I got the message.”

“The irony of that story is, when you became a huge success as a young broadcaster of the Royals, you would visit Skid Row in Chicago after night games and have a pretty good time.”


“My mom was a dance teacher as I was growing up, and she thought it might be convenient to have me dancing, you know so she could watch me after school. I went to one class, and I’m not kidding, this is the truth, she kicked me out.”

“Hahaha, one two — check swing fouled back into the screen.”

“I think I lasted 15, 20 minutes. She said, ‘No mas.’”

“‘That’s enough’. Seemed like a good idea.”

“Until I became disruptive … I will tell you this: if my dad was the teacher I wouldn’t have been disruptive.”

Hunter Pence

“Has Hunter Pence ever taken a smooth swing?”

Food and Drink

“What do you keep pouring into the Bigelow Tea?”

“It’s 10-2.”


“He made friends in a hurry: A’s first trip here he has a buddy that has a brand new barbecue company — I know it seems like a gas station; everybody has a barbecue company here in Texas.”

“Ain’t nothing wrong with that.”

“But his buddy’s stuff was brought into the clubhouse and it was met with rave reviews.”

“Here’s the 2-1 pitch, fly ball to short center, coming in Marisnick is right there and makes the catch. How come none of that came up to the broadcast booth?”

“That’s an excellent question.”

“I mean come on. We never turned down barbecue up here.”

“Or any kind of food for that matter.”


J.T. Chargois.

“I like the pronunciation on that.”

“It does sound like a wine, there’s no greater wine person than you.”

Char-gwah. I’ll have the…char-gwah.”

“Would that be a white wine of some kind?”

“That would be definitely be like probably a Chardonnay. Fastball outside, two balls two strikes.”

“From the south of France.”

“No doubt. I’ll have a little…char-gwah.”


“Well it’s $1 Hot Dog Night here tonight, and Dallas Stars Night, but other than that not a whole lot to celebrate.”

Food and Drink In a Fictitious Town

“Good changeup from Jeffrey Springs, and the count is now two and one. What did you say, Ryan? Jeffrey Springs sounds like a good spot for a little vacation?”

“Yeah! I’d go to Jeffrey Springs.”

“Couple of good restaurants there … little bat-handle blooper to right center it’s going to drop in for a hit. So Gutiérrez picks up his first hit of the game, one on, one out for Ryan O’Hearn.”

“You could pick up some pretty good barbecue in Jeffrey Springs.”

“Mhm. Good barbecue, and there’s a couple of good pizza places. Depends on what kind of pizza you like, which spot you’ll pick. You could either get the deep dish or the flat dish pizza. Breaking ball, low and outside to Ryan O’Hearn. Do you prefer one or the other? Or do you care? Or do you even eat pizza?”

“Well, I’ve become one of those low-carb high-fat guys, which means when we eat pizza we scrape the toppings off, which makes me more of a deep dish guy, because you’re gonna get more toppings. More cheese.”

“Ball two is low, 2-0.”

“There’s a place in Chicago that the crust? — for people who can’t eat bread? — is made of sausage.”

“Yikes. 2-0 pitch is inside, 3-0.”

“Malnati’s? Is that the name of the place?”

“I’ve never heard of it. I don’t think I would eat that pizza.”

“Oh man. You can only eat about one piece, as you can imagine, but it is really good. But they don’t serve that at Jeffrey Springs. You could only get that in Chicago.”

“Right. Yep. Strike at the knees, 3-1. Jeffrey Springs also has a park where you could race go-carts. There’s a swing and a miss. So, and they have two different types — you have one for adults and one for kids. If you’re more than five years old you cannot participate in the little cart. There’s a popper out into short left and that’s going to drop. So the Royals with a couple of parachute singles here in inning number nine, and the Royals are still alive. That brings on Cam Gallagher with two on and none out.”

“Is that the place where they had the big miniature golf facility that uh, turned into a condominium complex?”

“Are you talking about the one on the west side?”

“On the west side.”

“Yeah yep.”

“By the way Ryan O’Hearn with his first hit against a lefty this year.”

Synonyms for ‘We Got Killed’

“Now a continuation of a season long pattern. Every time it looks like the Red Sox are gonna establish a little momentum and remind us of last year, they throw out a stinkbomb like tonight.”


“24,212 sitting through this here at Rogers Centre, watching the Blue Jays get good and thumped.”


“Interesting notes coming in, might as well drop those in as Ji-Man Choi is 0 for 3.”

“Nothing else to do.”

“Yeah really, licking our wounds … ”


“Houston just clobbering the Rays 15-1.”


“Rough day at the office for the Astros.”


“Absolute wipeout here today.”


“When you keep just getting bombed, it takes a toll on you.”

“It gets old.”


“I think the best word to describe a situation like this is ‘awkward.’ It’s awkward for everybody.”

Arlington Moon

“We are starting to see the moon now, one night past the full moon — it is starting to rise above the office building in left center. Two men on nobody out, Guerrieri deals and it’s a strike at the top of the zone for Lamb, and it is one and one.”

“We may not be talking about the moon as much next season.”

“We won’t be able to see it really well, will we? Will really have to make stuff up.”


“To see this moon next year we would have to look at that part of the roof that is visible looking out toward right center in the new ballpark.”

“0-1, and there’s a check swing, he went around on a pitch in the dirt. It is 0-2. Think the moon will be in the same place?”

Poo Poo PhD

Brandon Hyde is coming to the mound. Nobody was warming in the bullpen, and you know what that means! Stevie Wilkerson is coming in from center field to pitch. Stevie Wilkerson, he of Major League pitching history, is on the mound for the 8th inning. Come on back for it, on the Orioles radio network.”


“Loudest ovation of the night from Orioles fans, their new pitcher is Stevie Wilkerson, a 20-2 game, Houston leads it in the 8th. Stevie Wilkerson very affectionately referred to by his manager recently as, and I quote: ‘Dr. Poo Poo’.”


“It has not been the Orioles night so far, they trail the Astros 20-2 … but … Stevie Wilkerson is pitching.”


“The Stevie Wilkerson Show coming back when we return for the 9th, 20-2 Houston. Stevie got the save last time, can he do it again?”


“The great thing about baseball is, you win 1-0 tomorrow it counts the same as —”

“Here’s Yordan Alvarez.”

“Uh oh.”

“Oh gosh, deep to right field how far is this gonna go? It is just shy of Utah Street gone. Yordan Alvarez is the greatest hitter in Major League Baseball history. He’s hit three home runs tonight including one against future Hall of Famer Stevie Wilkerson. It’s 23-2.”

Definitely Sarcasm

“How excited could Collin McHugh have been to get up and start getting warm in this game? Ugh.”

“Beats working for a living.”


“I will definitely be with you gentleman in spirit tomorrow. Got a family function and I want to make sure that you know that I will have the game on the radio. I won’t be watching the game, I will be listening to your priceless descriptions, so I’m really looking forward to it.”

“Your lack of sincerity is hurtful.”


“And the crowd goes wild, as the Blue Jays cut the deficit to 19-4.”


“Chavis got what, about halfway down the baseline?”

“Yeah he wasn’t running. He didn’t know what to do, he was surprised he didn’t hit the ball hard.”


“Canha pinch hitting for Davis in a 13-0 game.”

“Got to make you feel good. The game is 13-0.”

“You get the at-bats when you can take them right?”

“That’s right.”


“Think it’s about time he knocked someone down, don’t you think? These guys are wayyy too comfortable at the plate.”

“Well I’m not so sure he wants to knock the guy down who has visited San Quentin Prison. Want to rethink that one.”

“That’s right. I say that sarcastically of course.”

“Of course.”

Fixing Baseball

“It is a concern among owners, among players, the commissioner, there have been many things proposed but how do you make it so that more balls are put in play? So we see more action on the field?”

“Get a different ball right away, number one. Get rid of that jumpin’ jack baseball. Go back to the normal ball. In the era when I played in – the 60s and 70s – you put your finger there you imprint the ball, you can’t do that with these balls. There you go commissioner there’s your simple answer. Hahaha. I’m hearing that from everybody though.”

“Make a softball.”

“Make a softball, there you go. When the great Al Kaline talks about that, as great as he was, you know, you listen!”

I Hope This Was Sarcasm

“Me? I bunt. I don’t care, it’s 15-1. You need baserunners don’t ya?

“I think if he started laying bunts down they’d give more respect for him. We’re down 15-1, we need baserunners that’s what we need.”

Referencing a Bob Costas Radio Show Google Doesn’t Recognize

“I quick pitched Lou Brock too by the way.”

“You might want to explain to some listeners who Lou Brock was.”

“I heard him on Costas Across America two nights before and he said he wanted to make sure the pitcher saw a three person edge over at first, and I didn’t know what he was talking about, Pearce just took strike one. He said ‘I’d like to see the pitcher when he looks over to see me, the first baseman, and the umpire’. And I’m listening to this and I’m going ‘But why?’ He goes ‘When he sees those three, I feel comfortable, and so does he.’ Big swing by Pearce didn’t get it, oh and two, and I looked over there, I walked him or he hit a rocket, probably a rocket somewhere, and I looked over there and I didn’t see him, and then I looked over and I saw him, I knew he had gone back, and the next pitch I didn’t see him and I threw the pitch and Bob Boone threw him out at second base stealing, he got him by I don’t know two or three inches, that’s what Bowa told me. So we barely got him. What happened, I saw the replay on TV that night.”


“He went back with his momentum to see if I could see him, and once he thought I could see him, he took off for second, and it cost him.”

“That’s exactly right.”

“Here’s the 0-2. Struck him out swinging.”

“Moral of the story: don’t tell people your secrets.”

Position Players Don’t Throw the Baseball As Hard As Pitchers

“To say that Federowicz is lobbing the ball would be a bit of an understatement.”

“You know guys during BP don’t like seeing this, because they want it to be closer to game speed.”


Brandon Dixon…on a strike two delivers a 75mph…they said slider on the board, I think it was his fastball … called third strike on Marcus Semien going back to the dugout saying, ‘Come on, that was just below the shoulders.’”

“Yeah exactly but the umpire said ‘It’s been a long game son; look at the score.’”

Chad Pinder his first at-bat he came in as a defensive replacement bottom of the 8th inning, he gets hit by a pitch.”

“He drilled him.”

Little message there.”

“Haha yeah exactly. That’s a message alright, aye yai yai.”


“You can’t hit that ball out of the ballpark, it doesn’t come in hard enough to hit it out of the ballpark. It’s like trying to hit a water balloon.”


“Not throwing a knuckler, is he?”

“It’s called a slowball, whatever it is.”

“Well it’s 60 … it is a knuckler, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know, it doesn’t look like it’s knuckling, it just looks slow. It’s called a ‘slow pitch.’ No movement.”


“It was so slow it didn’t register on the radar gun. Literally.”

“That pitch could have been arrested for loitering.”


“I saw the grip there it’s not a knuckleball grip. It’s a slow ball grip.”

“He spun it! But it just kinda, just kinda spun right over the middle of the plate, didn’t it?”

“It sure did.”


“Federowicz’s pitches have completely frozen up the radar guns, the apps, all of the various paraphernalia around the ballpark used to measure things have gone completely haywire.”

The Position Player Pitching is Not Fun

“Well we’ve come to the cross-your-fingers-and-hope-nobody-gets-hurt part of the program as Austin Romine is on the mound and pitching. And I know people think they can do a … this always scares me, somebody gets hurt. We’re coming to you live from the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center broadcast booth.”


“The one thing you don’t want a position player to do is get hurt and go out there and try and throw hard. So what he’s doing now – there’s another foul ball – his last two pitches are 57, so I think he’s decided I don’t want to throw guys off by trying to throw hard so I’m gonna see how slow I could throw it up there.“


“I said before when I saw Romine I don’t like this anyway … well you’ve got one catcher on the injured list already and you got your starting catcher out on the mound throwing?”

“I don’t like it either. It really cheapens the game.”

“… I’m sure it will be fine but it’s just risky to me.”


“Big thing Brosseau not to get hurt. So far this is really the third time that he is bailing out the Rays…

“Remember this is not a guy whose arm is built up to really do this. And he needs just one out, and you can say he performed in an emergency situation and really saved some arms. The 3-1 pitch ooo and it hit him, it hit Springer, came up and in, Brosseau turns his back, now it looks like he has something to say to Springer, just like a ‘Hey’, you know the body language saying, ‘Look, I’m new out here.’”


“9th inning 15-0 Oakland, and for the first time since Ron Gardenhire took over as manager – he haaaates to do this —”


“It’s 18-3 Boston we’re in the bottom of the eighth with one out and all the Yankees are hoping is to get two outs quickly and get everyone off the field before they get hurt.”

“Particularly Austin Romine.”

“We’re not going to really analyze these pitches. He’s trying to get through it, just get through it without hurting your shoulder please. Or your elbow, or anything else.”

‘I’m Tired’

“4.32 ERA in 44 games for Chris Devenski. I’m not gonna give you the rest of the statline, it’s 20-2. Look it up if you really want to know.”


“I don’t think Neil heard what I said, I said he is one of … joins Charlie Morton as one of the pitchers to not give up a run in an inning. He gave up a run, it was the home run, but I said home run in an inning, or a run an inning.”

“You got an ‘actually’’ on there.”

“I almost wanted to drop an ‘actually’ yeah.”

“So a leadoff walk, let’s see you and I … ”

“Oh wait a minute this is on me, because I said —”

“You and I would both be just going off on a ‘leadoff walk with a 15-1 lead … ‘ And there’s strike one. Oh so actuallyyy it was you!”

“Remember what I said earlier? Can we cancel the postgame show?”


“3-1, as Pérez was taking all the way trailing by 13…”


“Fifth home run for the Oakland A’s.”

“Will it ever end?”


“I think I was already asleep by this time last night. That game — two hours and 16 minutes.”


“It’s the Astros a lot, the Orioles not as much, we go to the bottom of the 9th on the Orioles Radio Network.”


“Somebody will come out with some numbers referencing the Astros last three games blah blah blah … have been 15 runs separation … first time that’s been done in the live ball era …”

Could Be Worse

“The good part is in a game like this it brings some levity to it, you know? Once it gets to a certain point you can’t take it that serious anymore, I was in a 30-3 game so Astros got a ways to go to get to that.”

“I didn’t want to bring it up on the air, I didn’t know if that still stung.”

“Still stings a little bit. I’ve managed to get past it. Lots and lots of therapy but I’m good.”


“We’re going to keep this under three hours so that’s some kind of consolation.”

This Score is Like a Football Score

“Texans 23, Ravens 2 … just kidding, that will never happen.”


“Oakland leads 21-5.”

“Baretto with the extra point.”


“And we might see this score multiple times next Saturday in college football right? 21-7.”

Talking About Other Sports

“Now we hear a few more ‘Let’s Go Raptors’ chants at Rogers Centre …”


“It’s not well intended for the Raptors Mike, but I remember this was happening to the Maple Leafs in 2015 — “Let’s go Blue Jays” chants at what was then the Air Canada Center. It is, in part, derisive.”

“22-2, I believe the final score of that game was and I think it was the day the Blue Jays got David Cone in that waiver deal, and Cone came and watched that.”


“A three hit night for a guy we were told was slumping, Josh Reddick.


“I mean come on. This is one of those ‘make it stop’ moments because you know a guy that’s not been playing all night long he has two hits on the season, and he gets a jam shot flare hit? It’s not that easy.”


“It’s the bottom of the eighth, and the Blue Jays are just one grand slam away from needing three grand slams to tie up this game.”


Joe Biagini the former Blue Jay is now on to pitch against the Rays, and the Rays … who’s up for a 15 run 9th? I know I am.”

“I think I have enough water for 15 runs.”

The Thing About Rebuilds

“Rebuilds can be painful. And this certainly is.”


“For all the bashing that ‘tanking” gets, could there be two better examples of how this worked as the Astros and the Cubs?.It has absolutely worked, so why be surprised when teams try it?”

Old Man Yells at Mound

“I think he just wrote something on the back of the mound as well, whatever that is. I don’t know folks. I wish I could tell you, I don’t know.”

“Lot of messages being left by players in the dirt nowadays.”

“Is there someone they know that’s on the back of the mound that’s not a player? There’s a big swing by Moncada, strike one.”

“You know the trends. One guy does something and all the rest goes ‘That looks cool; I’ll do that too!’. No originality.”

Get Off My Tarp

“What’s going on there with Devers? He jumped on top of the tarp.”

“Having some fun.”

“I know this – you spike that tarp you got holes in it.”

“Yeah you know … no he didn’t put any holes in it.”

“I don’t know …”


“On a night where your starter just doesn’t have it, sometimes that’s just the way it goes.”


“Just one of those nights …”


“It has been one of those nights, and there’s one every season.”

This is Actually Fine

“And if Sam Gaviglio is going to get roughed up, this is a great time to do it.”


“You know sometimes beatdowns like this are easier to kind of brush aside coming into the next day’s game. Certainly takes a lot less out of you mentally, because you almost check out half the game.”

“Yeah not like a close ballgame or maybe you think of a play or two if it had gone differently you might have been able to win.”

“Or blow the lead late … ”


Sam Gaviglio’s inning is mercifully over.”

Oh Cool, a Replay Challenge

Brandon Hyde should challenge this, just for fun.”


“And France is just laughing at first base umpire Tom Hallion.”

“You might say this is a bit of overkill in a 16-3 game, but Ty France deserves that hit, and that’s what Andy Green is trying to get him.”

“Yeah you got to defend your player here and I get it, it could be an umpire trying to go home.”


“Yep, Astros are gonna challenge.”

“Really? So you do this for your player right?”


“Otherwise I’d just say…just keep it moving.”

R.I.P. My Scorecard

“Boston does what they can — they only have one person on the bench — to move guys around, I didn’t get all of it…we have to find out where Travis is.”


“And this is not J.D. Martinez at home plate either.”

“It is not.”

“Jackie Bradley Jr, is that who that is?”

“No I believe this is León”

“Sandy León, the catcher?”

“I believe so.”

“And that pitch is inside and low for ball one. I think you’re right it is Sandy León.”


“Did I hear that Urshela is playing left?”

“Yes, you did.”

“And where is Tauchman? He must be in center.”

“Urshela is in left…”

“Tauchman in center…hmm…”

“…So they take out Hicks…”

“León is hitting in Betts spot. Not that it matters but…the pitch — fouled back, León is a switch hitter batting left — there isn’t anyone in the world who can read my scorecard. Haha. I have no idea how León got in the leadoff spot, I guess he came in last inning for Betts. Of course you could say ‘John, does it matter?’ No.”


“I just noticed the A’s have a new catcher.”

The Minnesota Twins

“Sanó hit a shot off of the reliever that came in…I see Buxton’s back — keeping you abreast of the Minnesota Twins — Buxton evidently feels better from his wisdom teeth extraction, had three wisdom teeth removed, that’s why he wasn’t in the Yankees series.”

“1-2 is cut on and missed, two away. Thank you for keeping me up to date on the Twins.”


“There is somebody I know of less than average intelligence who suggested the Twins might win the AL Central this year, but I’ll stop bragging.”

Home Improvement Tips

“You’re just flat out running out of pitchers, and September 1st isn’t quite here yet so you’re trying to win baseball games, and I mean you’re really just doing this with duct tape right now.”

“That duct tape is unraveling.”

“It really is.”

“It’s good for a lot of things though, let me tell you.”

“It’s helpful.”

“The perfect gift package into anybody just getting into a house is duct tape and WD-40. The one-two punch. If it’s tight and needs to be loose: WD-40. If it’s loose and needs to be tight: duct tape.”

“And that’s spoken from a man who has been married for a long time. You know you’re stuff. You’ve been a home owner for a long time.”

“I even got a tool belt. At least I think I do.”

Give Yourselves a Hand Folks

“It could not be quieter in here.”

“You would think that the score is flip-flopped here. That Tampa Bay is being blown out.”


“Many of the 38,000 have been entertained enough, they’re making their way out of Minute Maid Park.”

Pitchfork Critic

“Anytime the organist plays ‘Green Acres’, that’s a good night at the ballpark.”


“Kolarek an avid guitar player. Heavy metal, Metallica fan.”

“Nice. You guys could jam together!”

“I can play like, maybe four chords, and the beginning of Smashing Pumpkins ‘Today’ and that’s about it.”

“I can play two songs.”

“And the 0-1 is low. Took a guitar class in college, had some credits to kill at the end of my time at school and you had to play a song for the final and we played ‘Patience’, Guns N’ Roses.”

“Were you chording or picking…”

“Nono we just did the simple chords and — the 1-1 pitch is a breaking ball outside. And one of my other roommates who was not in the class, he was a great guitar player, he played the lead, he was Slash.”


“So it was great. We just played the chords and let him lead and it was fun, but we played that song over and over again and every time I hear it I just can’t listen to it anymore.”

“You know Rocco’s a bass player. You guys could get a little band together. Said he picked it up one year when he was injured and he actually played some gigs in and around St. Pete.”

“Rocco loves Phish, Wilco, great music. I got to study up to learn those bands.”


“What’s your favorite Blondie song? Is it ‘Call Me’? What we’re listening to right now?”

“Probably ‘Rapture.’”

“This is the theme song to American Gigolo starring Richard Gere.”

“‘Call Me’ is?”


“Alright. Can’t say that I’ve seen it.”

“Sadly, I have.”

There’s Always Tomorrow

“The Yankees are one out away from this loss and they just want the night to be over, and everyone to get back and get a good night’s sleep, and be refreshed and ready for tomorrow.”


“And on a night like tonight, they’ll be pleased to just get this one in the books and put it behind them. Fresh day tomorrow: get right back at it with Zach Plesac on the mound.”

This Game is a Ghost. I Am Already Living in the Future.

“Astros lead 21-1. The Mariners want to forget about this one in a hurry, get on a bus, get to the airport, hop on the plane, get home, enjoy the off day tomorrow, get ready for the Cincinnati Reds Tuesday night at T-Mobile Park, for game one of that three game series, hope to see you there.”

“We got a final on the Arkansas-Tulsa game? Final game of that best-of-5 series between the Arkansas Travelers and the Tulsa Drillers, the Mariners Double-A farm club in Arkansas. Here’s the next pitch low and outside in the dirt two balls and two strikes the count. A lot of the Mariners prospects on that Double-A prospect club, like Jarred Kelenic, Kyle Lewis, Evan White, Justin Dunn, Justus Sheffield who’s going to go on Tuesday night in Cincinnati was there this year … ”

Thank you for reading

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Robert McWilliams
Fantastic. Jeffrey Springs! I have to say that Denny Matthews is the champion of finding things to talk about in blowouts; and he's had lots and lots of practice with that for very long stretches with the Royals.