“I’m back without a trace. You should have changed those stupid locks. Now I’m back without a trace. Who sings it? Is it Gloria Gaynor? You weren’t surprised, were you?”

–Toronto GM J.P. Ricciardi, on the return of Theo Epstein to the Red Sox (Boston Herald)

“My first year in Toronto, I talked to Billy Beane every day. My second year, I talked to Billy Beane every day. My fifth year, I talked to him almost every day. It’s not a matter of asking him for advice. That’s where your comfort is.”


“I would say probably yes, because of the credibility Theo has. I’ll say this about Theo: He’s always had guts. He’s going to continue to have guts. What these two guys did in his place, whether he was informing them or not, took guts.”

–Ricciardi, on whether the Red Sox’ offseason would have been better received had Theo remained at the helm

“When I see Theo, I’m going to tell him, ‘You need an agent. If you’re going to take a vacation, at least get paid for it.'”

–player agent Scott Boras, on Theo’s absence


“It’s a bit surprising that (the Mets) would trade a proven 200-inning guy who has shown the ability to pitch in New York with the uncertainty over Pedro’s toe.”

–player agent Greg Clifton, on his client Kris Benson getting traded to Baltimore (Newark Star-Ledger)

“The Mets and their fans definitely got the raw end of the deal, and Kris is going to do amazing in Baltimore. I am sexy and I don’t shy away from that.”

–Kris Benson’s wife Anna Benson, on the trade

“We just made a baseball trade.”

–Mets GM Omar Minaya, on whether the Mets traded Kris because of Anna


“No one ever thought of two geographic identifiers. That’s nonsense. It screams out nonsense.”

–Anaheim City Manager Dave Morgan, on the double city moniker in the Angels’ name (Los Angeles Times)

“Thankfully, Major League Baseball doesn’t allow something like the IBM Yankees of New York.”


“It may be unusual, but it seems, according to the contract, they have the exclusive right to be unusual.”

–Orange County Superior Court Judge Peter Polos, on how the language of their lease may give the Angels the right to remove the city name from their merchandise

“Somebody needed to tell me that. Maybe I wouldn’t have bought the team.”

–Angels owner Arte Moreno, on how then-Disney sports chief Tony Tavares once promised that the name Anaheim would remain on all team-related merchandise

“Morgan thinks he owns a baseball team. The city of Anaheim thinks they own a baseball team.”



“Some people say he might not like young players, that he likes veterans. But I’m here to say firsthand, he’s been great to me. He’s done things that have really helped me.”

–Cubs outfielder Matt Murton, on Dusty Baker and his preference for veterans (Chicago Tribune)

“I went through a stretch where I wasn’t feeling comfortable, and he called me in to talk about things. He eased me in, and now I’m getting to where I’ve had some success.”


“I can’t play them until the season starts.”

–Cubs manager Dusty Baker, after being asked how often he’ll play Ronny Cedeno and Murton during a Mid-Winter Fan Fest


“I don’t need to see them, they’re not good obviously, there’s no doctor in the world that’s going to look at it and say ‘Hey, it looks like a good shoulder.'”

–Astros first baseman Jeff Bagwell, on the results of his shoulder test (

“There’s no question I’m trying to play. Is it going to work? I don’t know either. I don’t think anybody can say. That’s why the Astros are doing what they are doing [in identifying other options]. That’s understandable, there’s a lot of money out there that’s guaranteed to me, and if I can’t play they want to try to recoup some of that and I understand that. I know they’re trying to protect themselves with this insurance claim and I understand that very much so. But I still think I should be given the right to go to Spring Training.”


“If I get to the second week of February and I can’t lift my arm, obviously I’m not going to do that to them. If I can’t do that and I know I can’t, I’m not going to just show up, that wouldn’t be right either. My plan right now is to try to go to Spring Training and play.”


“If I can’t throw, then obviously I can’t play in the National League. Right now, I don’t know exactly where I’m at.”



“I don’t know if I’m supposed to thank Tony for yelling at me to back up, or thank our pitchers for getting the ball up in the zone and keeping me in the highlights.”

–Cardinals center fielder Jim Edmonds, during his Gold Glove acceptance speech last week at the BBWAA banquet (St. Louis Post-Dispatch)

“This award is great. I wish I could trade it for the championship ring the White Sox are getting next year.”

–NL MVP Albert Pujols, when he received his award

“One day, I’ll hopefully pitch here in St. Louis. I love Chicago right now, and if they signed me to a lifetime deal, I’d sign it. But if I get the opportunity to put that (Cardinals) uniform on for at least one game, I’ll do it.”

–White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle, who grew up near St. Louis

“The only thing I’m concerned about is the tampering charge I will have tomorrow. There may be a bill for $250,000 tomorrow.”

–Cardinals GM Walt Jocketty, accepting an award for outstanding accomplishments in baseball


“I don’t think I have won the job yet. There are a bunch of players in the organization that are really good. I’m, by no means, assuming that I’m the Opening Day third baseman. But just knowing that they would trade Vinny shows how confident they are in me and my skills. That gives me more confidence and more to work for.”

–Nationals’ third baseman Ryan Zimmerman (

“It’s very difficult to compete against us in any area, not even in baseball do they want to compete with Cuba.”

–Cuban president Fidel Castro, on Cuba being shut out of the WBC (New York Times)

“No, I can’t tell you how much a weak hitting shortstop for the Washington Nationals should make, much less what the leader of the largest financial institution in the world should make. The market sets those.”

–President of Business Roundtable John Castellani, on the “Jim Lehrer News Hour,” on whether or not executive pay is excessive (National Public Radio)

“Oh my goodness, what a difference. I really think that if we can get off to a good start, we will compete. It’s not like guys need to have monster years, either. They just need to do what they are capable of.”

–Rockies first baseman Todd Helton, on recent acquisitions Mike DeJean, Jose Mesa and Ray King (Denver Post)

“I think my hair makes me look skinnier. Actually, I weigh the same but I’ve trimmed down a little bit.”

–St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Sidney Ponson, on his hair (Rocky Mountain News)

“If we continue to win games, which I’m expecting and hoping we do, we’ll once again have a great clubhouse.”

–A’s GM Billy Beane, on his clubhouse atmosphere (AthleticsNation)

“Castilla, Mirabelli and Bellhorn have been on championship ballclubs before and know how to win. I like the climate of the team.”

–Padres GM Kevin Towers, on his new acquisitions (North County Times)

If you have a quotation you’d like to submit, email John, and be sure to include the URL where you found it.

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