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Yesterday was Patriot’s Day. Most people outside of Massachusetts don’t know what it is beyond the day the Boston Marathon is run, if they even know that. The best part about Patriot’s Day, if you don’t get the day off like everyone in the state? Early morning baseball. Because 11 am baseball is such a treat, we decided every fanbase deserves a heretofore unknown holiday to take the day off and watch baseball while drinking their mid-morning coffee. —Craig Goldstein

AL West

Houston Astros – Actual Bravery Day, April 14: The anniversary of the oxygen tank explosion on the Apollo 13 mission and celebration of the three astronauts persevering through an arduous journey that looked bleak at times. Not too unlike the Astros fans in attendance.

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim – Fictional Bravery Day, aka 'Mmm Watcha Day' May 19: Nothing says Orange County pride like celebrating the original air date of the episode of The O.C. where Marissa shoots Trey.

Oakland Athletics – Trade Deadline Day, July 31: I mean, no matter what Billy Beane does, people celebrate.

Seattle Mariners – Cup Day, August 13. In commemoration of the date in 2009 when Adrian Beltre severely contused his right testicle in order to simulate what it’s like to be a Mariners fan

Texas Rangers – Boomstick Day, July 1: In honor of Nelson Cruz’s birthday, Rangers fans were asked to dress up like Nelson Cruz, but with Cruz no longer on the team, the theme just went over everyone's heads. Giant hot dogs are half price*. *Also sandwiches.

NL West

Arizona Diamondbacks – Jake Plummer’s Half-Birthday, June 19: Nothing says winning in the desert like the long and storied career of the former Arizona State Sun Devil and Arizona Cardinal quarterback. Plus, bonus points for the tie-in between his nickname and the team’s. They’ll wear a separate, commemorative jersey.

Colorado Rockies – Wait, Where Are We Day, April 21: For the benefit of those who arrived at last night's game but were unable to make it either into the stadium or back home, this game will be played in the parking lot.

Los Angeles Dodgers – Fan Celebration day, July 3: The third of July… The day for the inning the standard fan arrives, the month for the inning they leave.

San Diego Padres – Su Lin Day, August 2: The Padres celebrate the birthday of the giant panda at the San Diego Zoo by bringing her out to the mound to throw out the first pitch. Will everyone survive? Tune in at 11:05 am to find out.

San Francisco Giants – They get every other year, they don’t need a goddamn day.

AL Central

Chicago White Sox – Fight an Old Man Day, August 4: In honor of current White Sox manager (and former star third baseman) charging the mound and getting bested by a man old enough to be his father, find a fan 20 years your junior and put him or her in a headlock.

Cleveland Indians – Post-NFL Draft Day, late April. These people need a reason to hold on. Also, this will let Cleveland sports fans drink away their pain the night(s) of the draft without worrying about work the next morning.

Detroit Tigers – Draft Gift Day, June 7: Come to the ballpark and celebrate Kevin Towers taking Matt Bush with the first pick of the 2004 MLB draft. However, things fall apart in the seventh inning, when it is announced how much money is left on Justin Verlander’s contract. Thankfully Tigers’ fans are used to this.

Kansas City RoyalsPECOTA day, September 19: In honor of the day the namesake of the projection system that fueled the Royals consecutive World Series runs debuted (1986). Amazing to think that they couldn’t have done it without PECOTA.

Minnesota Twins – Hockey Pride Day, May 25: The Twins celebrate the day the beloved North Stars franchise was announced to the world. The game will be played in Arlington.

NL Central

Chicago Cubs – Slide Into Wrigley Like Day, July 15: On the anniversary of Twitter’s launch, we are all solemnly reminded that there was a time before #CubsTwitter existed.

Cincinnati RedsOBP Day, April 10. The Reds celebrate 4/10 because it’s generally the last day in the calendar year that reads lower than Joey Votto’s OBP. For reasons that can’t be explained, Reds fans hate this holiday. 410 also represents the number of calories in a single bite of Skyline Chili.

Milwaukee Brewers – Bud Selig Day, August 24: A day in remembrance of the unveiling of the Bud Selig statue. All players will wear ties throughout the game.

Pittsburgh Pirates – Humility Day, September 29: Out of respect to National Coffee Day, every September, each member of the Pirates goes to Starbucks. When asked to give their names with their orders … they give their names. Peter King is amazed.

St. Louis Cardinals – Baseball Heaven Day, Good Friday: What better way to celebrate the holiest of baseball franchises? Jason Heyward is super not invited.

AL East

Baltimore Orioles – Old Bay Day, June 22: First day of the “Cancer” zodiac calendar. What’s the zodiac symbol for Cancer? Crab. What goes on crab? MFing Old Bay.

Boston Red SoxNick Punto Trade Day, August 24. A day to celebrate the fabled Nick Punto/Adrian Gonzalez/Carl Crawford/Josh Beckett trade with the Dodgers, a move that set the Red Sox up for an entire new generation of crappy contracts.

New York YankeesDerek Jeter Days, The Second of Every Month. To commemorate Derek Jeter, on the second day of every month, poor people are allowed to enter Yankee Stadium. On the way out, they receive gift baskets that include subway fare home and a scented replica of a $17 cheeseburger.

Tampa Bay Rays – The Price is Wrong Day, July 5: The Rays celebrate 7/5 in honor of the $0.75 on the dollar they received when trading David Price.

Toronto Blue Jays – Degrassi Day, September 18: This day marks the celebration of Drake's debut episode of Degrassi: The Next Generation. Well, it actually aired on November 1st in Canada but Canadians have a storied tradition of celebrating holidays on different days than in the U.S. just to spite us.

NL East

Atlanta Braves – Burn It All Down Day, June 9: A day to reflect about when Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes burned down Andre Rison’s mansion. Everyone in attendance gets a new pair of sneakers.

Miami Marlins – Social Security Day, August 14: The anniversary of the Social Security Act of 1935, which allows the elderly taxpayers of Miami-Dade County to support this great product.

New York Mets – Kazmir Trade day, July 30: Just to make sure Mets fans don’t get too comfortable with a contending club.

Philadelphia Phillies – Ryan Howard Extension Day, April 26: Like Pearl Harbor, but worse.

Washington Nationals – Shutdown Day, October 1: In honor of both the Federal Government Shutdown of 2013, and the Washington Nationals Shutdown of 2012.

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lipitorkid
4/19
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: Here are things that are very OC:

1. Decorate your beach cruiser, attend the Huntington Beach 4th of July parade, later that night set a couch on fire in downtown HB and visit your dad in the holding cell at the city jail.
2. Watch Wally George reruns while cleaning the guns from your extra gun safe, the main backup safe, not the one you buried in the backyard.
3. Count the number of empty seats at the stadium when the Angels play anyone but the Cubs, Red Sox, or Yankees. This is a three day weekend activity, musical backing by the rally monkey.