Evan Brunell is a baseball writer and the president of the Massachusetts chapter of the Alexander Graham Bell Association for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing. You can read more about his lip-reading methods, follow him on Twitter @EvanBrunell, send him lipreading requests @sportslipreader, and find his other baseball writing at Fire Brand of the American League.
Last January, Ben Lindbergh asked Evan Brunell for his assistance in deciphering the previously almost unintelligible arguments conducted during baseball games by people who don’t even play. The result was this article on the best manager-umpire arguments of 2012. Evan followed up on that piece with a sequel at Deadspin on the best manager-ump arguments of the first half of last season, and now he ties a bow on 2013 with a roundup of the best verbal battles that took place after last All-Star break. With the advent of expanded instant replay, the future of manager-umpire arguments has never been less clear. But the manager-ump arguments of the past have never been clearer.
Mouse over each video to reveal a red arrow, and mouse over the arrow to access play controls. Warning: Managers have filthy, filthy mouths.
9/9/13: Miguel Cabrera gets hit but is ruled to have swung, which leads to an argument that ends with both him and Jim Leyland being ejected.
Miguel Cabrera: (OBSCURED) — bullshit. (TOSSED) Oh, no, no, no, man, hey, hey, hey, hey — no no! I stopped listening, I stopped —
Brian Gorman: (OBSCURED)
MC: No, no, no, no, no fucking way, no fucking way, man!
BG: Come on.
BG: He can’t do —
MC: No fucking way!
BG: You can’t do that.
MC: Dude, dude, (OBSCURED)
BG: (to Jim Leyland) (OBSCURED) — He said it too many times —
MC: Fucking bullshit!
BG: — That’s bullshit, that’s bullshit, that’s bullshit.
BG: He did turn around, Jimmy. Jimmy, he did turn around.
BG: And I let him know. —
MC: That’s fucking bullshit!
BG: — He turned around again, I let him know. He turned around AGAIN, I let him know three times. And then he — (CAMERA CUTS OFF)
MC: You can’t do that, you can’t do that man. … No that’s not, fuck that. You lie! … You lying right now. You lying right now!
MC: No, that — you lying, man. That’s fucking lying.
BG: (TOSSES Leyland) Get outta here.
JL: — what the fuck is wrong with you guys?
BG: What the, what are you talking about?
BG: — said that’s bullshit, bullshit. Jim, that’s —
BG: Jim, Jim, I let you come out and hear an explanation, he said that’s —
JL: — said bullshit three times. Wait a minute. That’s all he did. That’s all he did.
BG: I know. Alright, let’s go.
JL in dugout: Bullshit three times. He said bullshit three times.
JL: Not fucking fair! I wasn’t even arguing with it! Fucking joke!
9/8/13: Mike Aviles is ejected by the second-base umpire for arguing a close call at second after being thrown out stealing in the ninth.
Gary Darling: Oh kiss my ass! Who the fuck are you acting like that? —
Mike Aviles: Who the fuck are you!?
GD: — Talking to me like that?
MA: — fucking call!
GD: Not a chance!
MA: Fucking guy, wake the fuck up!
Ned Yost: Yo! That fucking thing’s right there! … Bullshit!
(OBSCURED, in intervening, Yost is ejected).
NY: You gonna tell me that pitch is low!? You gonna tell me that pitch is up? That pitch was right there in the middle! That — oh, bullshit!
Will Little: — was just outside.
NY: It wasn’t outside!
NY: It wasn’t outside! I don’t know where the fuck that (OBSCURED). You gotta handle the fucking pitcher! You shouldn’t be here!
8/26/13: Rays manager Joe Maddon gets ejected after arguing a called third strike against David DeJesus in the fourth inning.
Joe Maddon: Hey! That ball’s up! That’s about much! Up top! That’s way up! It’s WAY up! It’s way up, Gibby!
Greg Gibson: — your warning. (TOSSES HIM) Get outta here.
Maddon: — yeah, but that is atrocious. It was up, man. It was fucking (VIDEO ENDS).
8/2/13: Mark Ellis is called out on strikes and ejected for protesting, then Don Mattingly gets tossed after coming to his player's defense.
Alan Porter: You did.
ME: (OBSCURED) I said it ONE time! (OBSCURED)
ME: — threw me out for that.
AP: (ejects Mattingly) (OBSCURED) — No!
DM: I didn’t say that, I didn’t mean him, I said did you get it right or did you miss it?
DM: That’s what I asked you.
AP: Okay. Fine.
DM: (OBSCURED) fucking bullshit! … No! Why?
(REPLAY of Ellis reaction)
ME: Oh my god! That is so bad! (EJECTED) OH MY GOD!
7/25/13: Fredi Gonzalez gets ejected from the game after arguing that David Wright's triple should have been ruled a ground-rule double.
Chad Fairchild: We can’t review that. It’s not a home-run call. … I already did.
FG: My interpretation of it (OBSCURED)
FG: What are you doing here, Chad? No, no, no, no, no, no, go back there, go over there. (EJECTED) Nobody fucking asked you to do anything. Why did you come over here!? Why did you come over here? I’m talking to Jeff (Jeff Kellog, HP ump) (OBSCURED) That’s who I’m talking to. Get your ass over there.
CF: (OBSCURED) That’s my call (OBSCURED) You shouldn’t even come down here.
FG: How far (OBSCURED) should I walk?
CF: No. You shouldn’t even come down here.
JK: Come on now (guiding Fredi back to dugout)
JK and FG convo OBSCURED.
FG: I’m gonna go ahead and get my money’s worth cuz I’m outta here (OBSCURED).
7/23/13: Robin Ventura is ejected in the top of the first inning for arguing with the first-base umpire about an obstruction call.
GD: He was trying to jump around
RV: He was standing right here. He tried to jump into him.
GD: No. He wasn’t trying to (OBSCURED)
RV: — Already stopped. (OBSCURED) He was going into him.
RV: — Fucking call. Fucking shit call. He was fucking there, and he (OBSCURED — Thanks, Adam Dunn!)
RV: He was right there, he fucking stopped and you know it!
9/29/13: Joe Maddon heads to the field and gets ejected in the seventh.
Joe Maddon: (obscured to pitcher, turns to umpire) what the fuck’s going on!? What (Umpire tosses Maddon) the fuck you doing? What the fuck you doing? Fucking (OBSCURED) strike all fucking day!
Paul Schreiber: I told you six times, you’re done.
PS: You’re done. You’re done. … Alright, I see. I got you. … I got you. … I got you.
JM: But you suck!
PS: I’m not fucking —
JM: THEN DON’T SUCK!
JM: (OBSCURED) YOU FUCKING SUCK (OBSCURED) OWN IT THE FUCK UP! (OBSCURED) I don’t believe you said that, but you fucking are!
7/25/13: Clint Hurdle is ejected for arguing after the umpires rule Pedro Alvarez out, saying he made the turn for second after a single.
Laz Diaz: (OBSCURED) Yes he did. … I watched him the whole time.
Rick Sofield: I know, I was too.
LD: He made the turn, Clint.
RS: It LOOKED that way!
CH: His head went that way!
LD: No, his whole body went that way, trust me.
CH: (scoffs) His whole body!
LD: I watched — I watched him the whole way.
CH: There’s no way!
LD: Yes he did. I watched him — (OBSCURED)
(Ignore the convo with Sofield and the other ump)
LD: He turned his whole body. … He did do it. Yeah, turned his whole body.
LD: (Talks very fast, hard to pick out) — I’m not going to (around 1:03). (OBSCURED) I’m not going to check with the rest of (around 1:08) (OBSCURED) Yes I did.
7/14/13: Jonny Gomes strikes out after the umpire does not grant him a late timeout and is ejected after arguing the ruling.
JG: — Time!
Todd Tichenor: He was already coming!
JG: No he wasn’t! I put my hand back! (pantomimes)
JG: Why are you throwing me out?
9/20/13: Clint Hurdle gets ejected by umpire Mark Carlson in the eighth inning after Andrew McCutchen is hit by a pitch from Sam LeCure.
(McCutchen hit by pitch)
Andrew McCutchen: Goddammit.
Gaby Sanchez: Why are you giving us a warning?
Mark Carlson to Sam LeCure: (OBSCURED) my ass, OK? And then (OBSCURED)
Clint Hurdle: Why are you giving him a warning? (OBSCURED) — hit him on purpose.
CH: — purpose. There’s no way (OBSCURED) standoff. There’s no way you can give him a warning.
CH: I am going to argue it.
CH: There’s no way you can give him a warning cuz you thought he was going to hit him.
You made a bad decision. You made a bad decision.
CH: He didn’t hit anybody. He didn’t hit anybody! Where is your argument coming from?
DB: Fucking mad at him — for playing that game.
GD: Listen, listen…
CH: You got to be kidding me.
CH: — Hit him on purpose.
GD: — can’t let him bat again. No question about it. No question at all.
CH: Exactly why I (OBSCURED) down to first base?
DB: You think I should get him out?
GD: Yeah. We’re enforcing (OBSCURED)
CH: No, you don’t (OBSCURED) me here. You need to make the right call.
MC: I did.
DB: Fuck that cocksucker.
CH: You made the wrong call.
CH: You made the wrong call.
DB: Yeah, but that’s shitty (OBSCURED) shit.
CH: It’s a terrible call! (TOSSED) IT’S A TERRIBLE CALL! It’s a terrible call! And that (OBSCURED) tried to hit him on purpose!
CH: No way! That’s terrible. And you know it’s terrible. Why would he give him a warning unless he thought he was hitting him on purpose?
CH: What your answer there?
(OBSCURED) Terrible call!
9/11/13: Ron Gardenhire is ejected after coming out to argue when Jed Lowrie's foul ball is overturned into a double in the fourth.
Bill Miller: Ron, hold on. Just listen to me.
Ron Gardenhire: I’m gonna listen, but this ain’t gonna fucking happen.
RG: It’s not fucking (OBSCURED), what you can’t fucking do. You made the fucking call (?), now you’re gonna start placing guys?
RG: You’re going to start placing guys? (OBSCURED)
I’m not gonna listen (OBSCURED) I’m not gonna take this one. This is not going to fucking happen. It can’t happen here. You can’t fucking place people all over the place.
BM: Listen to me for a second.
RG: I understand what you’re saying. You called it foul! That ends that play.
Everybody stopped playing, and —
BM: (OBSCURED) That’s why we’re not going to score this guy from first.
RG: — you call it fair?
BM: We put him instead at third base.
RG: Everybody stopped playing because you called it foul. You can’t reverse it.
BM: We can reverse it.
BM: The ball’s on the line, Ronny.
BM: Ronny, Ronny…
RG: — fucked this up! (OBSCURED)
BM: Alright, Ronny, let me explain it to you.
BM: Ronny, it was the wrong call.
BM: I get it. Ronny… Ronny… listen to me for a second. If it was you guys, I would do the same thing. I gotta get the call right.
RG: You can’t stop the fucking double!
BM: I understand.
BM: We did. It was my fault, Ronny.
BM: It was only my fault.
RG: It’s absolute shit. You can’t do that, Ronny.
RG: (OBSCURED) — fucking — (OBSCURED)
BM: Ronny, now, I want to keep you in the game — I gotta keep you in the game.
RM: I can’t stay in the game if this is a hit!
BM: Yeah, well, you can, Ronny —
RG: No, that’s bullshit!
BM: — because it’s the right call.
RG: (OBSCURED) because of that.
BM: Ronny, we’re going to have to run you. I don’t want that.
RG: Well, you (OBSCURED) if you had a fucking (OBSCURED) but I can’t tell you because of that shit.
RG: That is bullshit (OBSCURED) You go fuck yourself.
BM: (TOSSES HIM)
RG: You know what? Billy, I get what you’re saying, but I can’t stay in this fucking game because of that. I can’t do that.
8/10/13: Pirates manager Clint Hurdle is ejected after coming out to argue a close call at second base in the top of the seventh.
CH: You gotta make the right call. You made a shit call. You made a shit call. (OBSCURED)
Adrian Johnson: (OBSCURED)
CH: I don't know, you missed the call!
AJ: — tell me? Yes you are. … Fucking tell you (OBSCURED)
CH: (OBSCURED) that's what you do! (EJECTED)
CH: Here we go, here we go.
AJ: — in a row! Three times, I was trying to walk away. What you mean!? You're really spitting all over me. Admit it, you spit on me. Now tell me you didn't spit on — oh now you're calm — (OBSCURED)
CH: No, no, no, no, no, no — (OBSCURED)
AJ: —sprayed all over me. You knew I was walking away. I didn't say anything about you swearing at me.
CH: — lost it! You lost it! You lost it! You lost it!
8/9/13: Max Scherzer is ejected from the dugout by the home-plate umpire after a called strike three on Torii Hunter in the seventh.
Jim Leyland: You're just boiling to throw someone out.
(Listens to ump's response)
JL: Wait a minute. You just threw somebody out and you don't know who you threw out?
JL: — balls and strikes. (OBSCURED), but I just want to make this point still. When you miss a pitch like that at this point in the game, even though (OBSCURED) miss this whole thing, without giving blame, but you better be expecting some grief because (OBSCURED)
Torri Hunter on replay: We're trying to win a game man, let's go! It's a fucking (OBSCURED)! Just trying to win!
8/7/13: White Sox pitching coach Don Cooper is ejected after disputing umpire Greg Gibson's strikeout call against Tyler Flowers
DC: — All night, motherfucker! All night! All night. No shit, you fuck-(OBSCURED)
7/23/13: Cubs manager Dale Sveum is ejected from the game in the third inning after disputing a strikeout call
Dana DeMuth: That’s one. That’s one. Do it again. Last warning, next time your ass — YOU’RE GONE!(Ejected.) … That’s bullshit (OBSCURED)
DS: Don’t bump me. You’re bumping me! Bullshit! You’re touching me! Bullshit! (OBSCURED) No it’s not! (OBSCURED) It’s bullshit! (OBSCURED)
9/8/13: Manager Kirk Gibson gets ejected from the game after the umpires reverse a call to end the D-backs' half of the 10th inning.
Not going to argue about them. GET OUTTA HERE!
9/6/13: Brandon Barnes is ejected from the game after striking out in the top of the sixth following a disputed hit-by-pitch call.
Bo Porter: I got him. I got him! You stay there. Okay? Alright, Barnesy, Barnsey.
Alan Porter: You’re not coming in anytime stepping out like (OBSCURED. Get outta —
Brandon Barnes: I didn’t say anything! No, I did not! I didn’t say anything! I didn’t say anything!
BP: All right, Barnesy. All right.
BB: It wasn’t me! It wasn’t me!
BB: That’s bull! I didn’t say anything!
(OBSCURED until replay)
BB: Gotta be kidding me. Fucking do your job. … … Me!? I didn’t say anything! I didn’t say shit! I didn’t say shit! I didn’t say anything! What? What? I didn’t say anything! No, I did not! I didn’t say anything!
8/2/13: Charlie Manuel and Jimmy Rollins get thrown out by the home-plate umpire after disputing Delmon Young's strikeout call in the ninth.
Vic Carapazza: Hold on.
CM: Come on, the fuck you calling him out?
CM: (around 0:29) — go ask him?
(Walks over to Gary Cederstrom.)
(Cederstrom ejects Manuel.)
CM: … fucking terrible. (OBSCURED) fucking that high!
(Honestly, the only thing I can catch that Manuel says throughout here is “Goddamn” and “Fuck”.)
CM: (1:08) Goddamn it!
CM: (1:18) We’re trying to win a fucking game, Gary. You’re getting on our godddamn case here, again (? not sure on again). What the fuck (OBSCURED). — Fucking matter?
GC: I’m sure it does.
CM: Goddamn right. You gotta be shitting me. You fucked me in the ass. That’s not (OBSCURED) fucking horseshit.
Thanks to Nick Wheatley-Schaller for video and formatting assistance.