On Wednesday, Adrian Beltre batted in the sixth inning. It went like this. 

First pitch: Josh Hamilton nearly steals second. 

Josh Hamilton was on the back-end of a double steal. He fell down. He returned to first base. That happens. But this is how far he got:  

Seventy feet, you think? Maybe 60? Josh Hamilton stole 60 feet of a base? Then abandoned the plan and took the much-longer way to a base? Someday, Josh Hamilton is going to write his autobiography. It is going to be called Falling Down: How I Stumbled, Fell Down, But Picked Myself Up, Got To Safety And Came Out A Winner. Book reviewers will note that it doesn't mention any of his personal struggles, and is only one paragraph long. 


And then: Adrian Beltre calls for appeal, loses appeal. 

Adrian Beltre does this sometimes. Miguel Cabrera also does this. I like this move, usually. Usually Beltre does this when he thinks the home-plate umpire is going to ring him up swinging. In this case, he did it because? 

Avila: What? 
Beltre: An appeal. It's my right!
Umpire: It is not your right.
Avila: It is not your right. 
Beltre: Mandate. Commerce Clause.
Avila: C'mon this game is so slow already. Can't we just get baseball over with?
Beltre: I insist. 
First-base umpire: I'm on TV!


And then: Beltre and home-plate umpire Paul Emmel discuss the count. 

The scoreboard lists it at 2-1. It is not 2-1, Emmel tells Beltre. It is not 2-1? Beltre asks. No, it is not 2-1, the umpire reiterates. I thought it was 2-1? It's not 2-1. So it's not 2-1? It's not 2-1. The first pitch was a strike. OK then I guess it's 1-2? No, you are out. The second and third pitches also were strikes. That scoreboard is so far off that we should probably not consult it any longer. That scoreboard is displaying a Euro Cup score.

And Adrian Beltre was out. There was no fourth pitch. The rest of the game was normal. 

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Dear Sam, I enjoyed this post. It made me smile as much as when teammates try to touch Adrian Beltre's head. (From their perspective, not his.)
@Sam, I honestly thought "Below" is intended for pun on something else. But I couldn't figure out what that would be. Quote: "Below: GIVE ME THE BALL BACK JERKS" Jim: Is Sam teasing about Beltre's "No Cup Incident"? Oh, the pitcher's name. Damn it.
Sorry, I should have thought about that!
And I interpreted it as the catcher speaking, since he was below the eye line of Beltre and the ump.
Every Adrian Beltre at bat is fun to watch. This just in: Adrian Beltre is fun to watch.
From Night At the Opera: Fiorello: [Disguised as one of the world's greatest aviators] So now I tell you how we fly to America. The first time we started we got-a half way there when we run out a gasoline, and we gotta go back. Then I take-a twice as much gasoline. This time we're just about to land, maybe three feet, when what do you think: we run out of gasoline again. And-a back-a we go again to get-a more gas. This time I take-a plenty gas. Well, we get-a half way over, when what do you think happens: we forgot-a the airplane. So, we gotta sit down and we talk it over. Then I get-a the great idea. We no take-a gasoline, we no take-a the airplane. We take steamship, and that friends, is how we fly across the ocean.