"There's been some concern that if Minnesota built a new stadium for the Twins, they might still be contracted. I'll tell you up front on no uncertain terms: if the Twins get construction on new stadium started, my staff has already laid the groundwork for me to begin threatening another franchise, which hasn't been named yet, with contraction."
Bud Selig, Commissioner of Baseball

"Why do you insist on asking me that over and over and over? We've got a new stadium! We're not going away!"
–Selig, snapping at a persistent reporter from the San Francisco Chronicle who at press functions has repeatedly asked him if the "hopeless" Brewers will be contracted

"Destruction is art."
Jeffrey Loria, Marlins owner and art dealer, asked if his actions in Montreal were a performance piece

"Look, I'm sorry I said I would try and finance my own stadium. I'm sorry I talked about how you can make money building franchise value even if the team isn't especially profitable. But I've got the money, I'm a good guy, I love baseball–can I please buy a team now?"
Donald Watkins, Alabama businessman who has made overtures to buy the Devil Rays, Expos, Twins, and Angels


"It's important for our fans to realize that as we build the Tigers, it's going to take dramatic moves like this to be competitive, and we have to seize the opportunities presented to us. I was in the office, I took the call, I made the deal."
Randy Smith, Tigers General Manager, on trading announced Opening Day starter Jeff Weaver and Nate Cornejo to the Blue Jays for Luke Prokopec, Glenn Williams, Justin Miller, Josh Phelps and Dustin McGowan

"Making this trade hurts us now but opens the way for the future. Pitching is and has always been the most important measure of any franchise. We gave up some, but we got much more back, and one of the best catching prospects in baseball as well."

"I think we're all big fans of Josh and Luke, and we wish them both the best in the future. But we improving our pitching was one of my top priorities, and we were willing to offer the farm, literally, to get a starter like Weaver over here."
J.P. Ricciardi, Blue Jays General Manager

"No, I was not aware that Dave Dombrowski was still on vacation at the time and unreachable by cell phone. I hadn't heard that."

"With our new, lowered budget, we weren't going to able to afford to re-sign Jim Thome, and felt it would be best to get maximum value for him while we could."
Mark Shapiro, Indians General Manager, on the late-Sunday trade that sent infielder Jim Thome to the Athletics hours after opening day in a six-player deal

"It was hard to give up prospects as talented as Eric Allegra, Oscar Salazar, and Mike Wood. I think we can compete this year, and given the chance to acquire a player like Jim Thome… you've got to take those opportunities."
Billy Beane, Athletics General Manager, on the trade that also sent left-hander Mike Holtz and right-hander Allen Levrault to the Indians

"I understand these things happen. But what the [heck] are they trying to prove? They've got a money-printing machine under Jacobs Field, they're soaking in profits, and they're trading me to trim payroll? It's about honesty."
Jim Thome, Athletics infielder

"The Indians would like to categorically deny that we are in charge of or aware of any counterfeiting operation based in or around Jacobs Field."


"We regretfully announce that Randy Smith has decided to leave the Tigers and pursue other opportunities, as well as spend more time with his family."
David Dombrowski, Tigers President and CEO

"Sure. Whatever you want to put down."
–Dombrowski, asked if Smith and the team had perhaps "grown in different directions"


"Last year that part-timer Vanderbeek [sic] came to camp, made a big deal about how he thought he deserved the starting job, whining about this and that, and who got traded, huh? Who got traded?"
Derek Bell, Pirates outfielder, on last year's competition for jobs with John Vander Wal


"It's been bittersweet coming back to the East Coast. It's where I feel at home, but I've been away so long a lot of the clubs I used to go to, they've got different girls there now, and the bartenders don't know me either… It's sad, but I guess the world moves on, you know? At least there's still Scores."
Mo Vaughn, Mets infielder

"Yeah, I heard what Mo said when you told him I said he wasn't a leader. You want me to go off on some swearing jag too, right? But hey, I said that [Darin] Erstad was our leader, not that Mo was a bad guy, and then you all go fishing for a story, pissing Mo off, and then I had to call him, let him know what was up… I know you guys have to fill space every day, but come on, this is just ridiculous. And don't give me those puppy-dog eyes, go on. Get!"
Troy Percival, Angels pitcher, to reporters

"No, come on, don't look at me like that."

"I'm not going to. You can go interview someone else. Stop whining! Stop it! No quotes for you today."

"Awww, you're so cute. Okay, okay, here… uh… If Mo [expletive] Vaughn was such a [expletive] leader, [expletive] how come he [expletive] tore his [expletive] bicep bench-pressing some silicone-filled stripper as part of a [expletive] bar bet, huh?"

"How was that? Was that good enough? Okay, run along now, I'll see you all after Sunday's game."

If you would like to submit a quote, please email Derek and be sure to include both the quote itself and a URL pointing to the quote.


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