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The Padres score four and a quarter runs

Over a regulation baseball game

But in the National League the other ones

Score around four and a third in the same

 

But now, are Friars batsmen all to blame?

Some simple research will clearly show

Not every team’s home park is quite the same.

So there’s another fact we need to know.

 

From Two-thousand eight to Two-thousand ten

Petco had a park factor of point eight three

Just halve the effect (for road parks) and then

A park factor of point nine two, you see.

 

So home in Petco a league average squad

Scores but four runs a game – now that’s just odd.

 

(Methodological notes: The sonnet is in the Shakespearean a-b-a-b, c-d-c-d, e-f-e-f, g-g rhyming scheme. All lines are in iambic pentameter – notionally, at least; some feet may be inverted.)

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mwhite6
9/12
Wow, that was something beyond awesome. Great work, Colin, you had me in stitches.
CrashburnAlley
9/12
You know you're going to be expected to write all your future research columns in iambic pentameter too, right? You done goofed.
mattymatty2000
9/12
Bill, all criticism should be in hiaku.
dianagramr
9/12
Earlier this season, I wrote a recap of an Angels/Yanks game entirely in haiku (to honor Hideki Matsui). Its fun to try out other forms of writing once in a while. Nice job, Colin!
dianagramr
9/12
Here is the link: http://www.bronxbanterblog.com/2010/04/24/haiku-california/
sam19041
9/12
Nicely played, Colin. Appreciated by fellow nerdsmiths (I mean wordsmiths) everywhere.
alskor
9/13
FYI, I prefer my poetic baseball information in the form of dirty limericks. Something to think about.
chabels
9/13
You should likely direct this to Kevin Goldstein, as I'm sure he could start the Red Sox's Top 11 prospects list: There once was a boy from Pawtucket...