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(Ed. note: The unofficial kickoff to Rumor Week got the staff here at BP
riled.)

Rany Jazayerli: The following deal is about to take place: Kansas
City trades Jermaine Dye to Oakland, which trades Mario
Encarnacion
, Jose Ortiz, and a pitcher to Colorado, which trades
Neifi Perez to…

Do I need to finish the sentence?

Joe Sheehan: Dye for Perez is a disaster. Encarnacion, Ortiz, and an
arm for Dye is not bad. Perez for the three A’s is a great deal. Ortiz in
Coors could become a rich man. Dan O’Dowd moves up a few ticks in my eyes.

Gary Huckabay: Why don’t they just save time, and include Mike
Sweeney
for Ron Gant in the same deal? Why does Allard Baird even
pick up the phone when Billy Beane calls? It’s like Ricky Jay playing
Three-Card Monte with Dubya.

Should the Royals even pay to have a phone system? They’d be better off
without one. Why doesn’t Baird just send a kidney to Beane?

JS: The Royals can still save this by taking John Schuerholz to the
cleaners on Sanchez.

RJ: The problem, of course, is that the Royals traded for Perez and
now have both he and Rey Sanchez on the roster. Don’t they lose
leverage with the Braves, or any other team? Schuerholz could just say,
"Hey, you don’t like our offer? Keep both of them!" What, you
think he’ll be nice because he once worked for the Royals, ten years ago?

JS: It’s not that bad, actually. The Dodgers have been looking for a
shortstop, the Astros might be interested, maybe even the Diamondbacks.

RJ: Of course, we’re talking about the Royals here. They’ll probably
make Perez their second baseman.

JS: Or DH.

Wouldn’t the Royals have been better of trading Dye to the A’s for
Encarnacion, Ortiz, and some arm?

Chris Kahrl: Silly wabbit, they just got somebody as good as Derek
Jeter
. He makes the Royals instantly better by his leadership skills and
his run production.