For the Cubs, a door closes and a conspiracy theory opens; poetry in wartime between pitchers and mascots; and a small career lost in service.
Mary channels Dickens, Matt brainstorms nicknames, and Trevor has an awkward reacquaintance.
A flashback to Kato Kaelin’s testimony, and a common trade target evaluates their self-worth.
After two days off, SR returns with a record four offerings: NES busts, househunting, letters to Curt Schilling and Furious Cubs.
Nicholson had been a rock in the Cubs’ lineup since his arrival with the team in 1939.
Mary delivers the rallying speech of an All-Star hopeful, while Patrick writes a pastiche about a rain delay.
Matt dissects a Jose Altuve commercial, Craig dissects a Jered Weaver tweet, and Mary unmasks the robots behind the plate.
Emma wonders if Juan Samuel missed a chance to break a nonexistent rule, Mary follows a conveyor belt to its unnatural conclusion, and Matt relays some earthly sightseeing.
Matt applies tunneling stats to Robert Frost; Mary gives Scooter Gennett an origin story; and Patrick defends whimsy.