Search:

Our Latest Blog Entries 02-09 BP Kings Cutdown Day by Geoff Young 02-09 The Untitled Joe Sheehan Book by Dave ... 02-08 Media, Media by Will Carroll

March 7, 2008, 04:04 PM ET
The Encyclopedia of Universal Hatreds

by Jim Baker

There are several Universal Hatreds that never need be uttered because these things are assumed. And yet, people still feel the need to state them. The three that I hear most often are, in no particular order:

I hate paying bills.

I hate traffic.

I hate being sick.

One of the reasons you know these are Universal Hatreds is that you never, ever hear the opposite sentiment expressed. Has a friend ever called you and said the following? “Dude, I hit the trifecta! I’ve got a fantastic sinus headache and the throbbing pain feels awesome and I’m stuck in maybe one of the three greatest tie-ups of my life. I haven’t moved ten feet in the last half hour. What’s really cool about all of this is that I happened to have my bills with me, and I’m sitting here in my car writing checks while everybody inches forward. I feel empowered paying these bills! It doesn’t get any better than this!”

I’m going to add my own universal hatred to this list:

I hate screwing up in my column. 

In today’s installment, I prepared a list of the best Orioles rookie seasons since they moved to Baltimore in 1954. I made sure that I did the proper research to ensure that the players listed were actually rookies in the year in question and did not pile up too much playing time the year before. Cal Ripken, Jr. came out on top, but his rookie year is listed as 1977. It is obviously 1982. That’s a minor infraction, though. The major Skroo-Upp© was that – after checking on the eligibility of about 35 previous Orioles and narrowing the list to 15 – I completely failed to double-check the rookie eligibility of the very player who inspired the list in the first place! Adam Jones, who I was shilling as a Rookie of the Year candidate, amassed enough at bats with Seattle in 2006 and 2007 to remove him from the RoY field in 2008, therefore nullifying the very intent of the exercise.

This isn’t to say it was a total waste as there is something to be learned from any research project. In spite of that, you’ll still never hear me say, “I love screwing up in my column.”

0 comments have been left for this post.