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Have you ever wondered what Ozzie Guillen's favorite bad words are?

Word has come down that Ozzie Guillen engaged in a "profanity-laced tirade" because his pitchers did not pitch well. Newspapers are squeamish about this sort of thing, so I worked the phones tirelessly tonight to find out exactly which profanities our dear Ozzie laced his speech with. A list:

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Seeing Sandy Koufax, Cal Ripken, and Babe Ruth, 160 characters at a time.

Believe it or not, most of our writers didn't enter the world sporting an @baseballprospectus.com address; with a few exceptions, they started out somewhere else. In an effort to up your reading pleasure while tipping our caps to some of the most illuminating work being done elsewhere on the internet, we'll be yielding the stage once a week to the best and brightest baseball writers, researchers and thinkers from outside of the BP umbrella. If you'd like to nominate a guest contributor (including yourself), please drop us a line.

Jon Bois is an editor for SB Nation and contributes content to Baseball Nation. He is also a co-founder of The Dugout, a long-running series of baseball players cussing at one another in chat rooms. You can tweet at him at @Jon_Bois. Jon lives in Louisville, Kentucky.

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One man's suggestion (from 1951) for easing manager/umpire disputes.

This solution probably would have worked best back in the days of Lou Piniella and Tommy Lasorda, but I'm confident it could still find use today. And, with the likes of Cowboy Joe West and Angel Hernandez wearing the blue, it may even apply to the umpires better than the players! (Rays fans would probably agree with that.)

In the October 1951 issue of Baseball Digest, we're told of an old joke about how cellmates in a prison have heard each other's funny stories so often all they have to do is yell out a number "like '33' or '89'" and everyone will bust out laughing. Because they know the anecdote by heart, you see.

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An old "Spy" magazine gives us a peek at a colorful moment in baseball history.

Last week, Google announced that they had just added the complete archives of Spy magazine to its excellent Google Books section (along with, say, Baseball Digestand Popular Science). This means that you can easily search for any term or terms to ever appear in the magazine's ten-plus year history. Naturally, then, I started poking around the archives for some fun baseball-related content.

And, boy, did I find something wonderful. In the June 1990 issue, there's a one-page article called "Talking Motherf---ing Baseball, Godd--- It!" The subtitle is "SPY salutes the Tardy 1990 Baseball Season with a Piece of 13-Year-Old, Unauthorized Oral History".

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Baseball's reaction to Arizona's new immigration law isn't kind, along with other quips from around the majors.

NO WONDER ROY HALLADAY ONLY WANTED TO TRAIN IN FLORIDA THIS SPRING

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GM beatdowns, the Mariners get rotten in center, and where have you gone, Jay Gibbons?

MAYBE THIS WAS THE 'MAKE-A-WISH' OF A DYING ASTROS FAN?

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Who knew that Jason Grimsley would be the star for an entire week of news cycles? We get a few perspectives on his situation, plus a look at managing and the effects of struggling.

"I am deeply saddened whenever there is an allegation that a Major League Baseball player is involved in the use of performance-enhancing substances. Because this is an ongoing criminal investigation, I will not make any comment about this specific case. As a general matter, however, I urge everyone associated with Major League Baseball--from the players to the union to the owners--to cooperate with the ongoing investigations by the Federal government and by former Senator George Mitchell."
--MLB Commissioner Bud Selig, responding to the Grimsley situation (MLB.com)

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Former player Rico Brogna loved andro, Steve Kline and Jerry Hairston are unhappy, Frank Robinson doesn't trust numbers, and Richie Sexson finds another use for Gatorade.

"Andro, for me, was amazing. It gave me better results than anything I'd taken in my career. The gains I got were incredible. I did it during the offseason and it was like my body kept telling me to work out more. I had more energy. I could do more sets, more reps. I wanted to get down and work out the next day. It was like I had to feed my body by working out."
--former Phillies first baseman Rico Brogna, on using andro while active (Philadelphia Daily News)

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September 29, 2004 12:00 am

Prospectus Today: Missing the Point

0

Joe Sheehan

What do you get when Milton Bradley melts down? Joe Sheehan looks at the predictably-skewed coverage of the incident, and all the action in the playoff chase.

Trailing 4-0 heading into the bottom of the ninth last night, the Dodgers were treated to an appearance by the Rockies' Shawn Chacon. With his 35 saves and 7.11 ERA this year, Chacon has shattered whatever standards previously existed for worst performance by a closer who held his job all year. Watching him is actually more painful than reading those numbers; he goes to a 3-2 count so often you'd think he's getting paid by the pitch.

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