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Prospectus Hit List for September 25



by Ben Carsley

Hit List for September 21 Hit List for September 28
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

Technically, catchers kneel during every national anthem.

RkTmWL W1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff%1-Day7-Day
1

98

58

103.4

107.4

104.9

.663

.667

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

“Francona proud that Tribe stands together” reads an Indians.come headline about the leader of a team *still* literally called “The Indians” commenting on the man who is literally our president complaining about NFL stars kneeling during the national anthem.
2

99

57

96.6

101.5

100.3

.637

.632

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

It kinda feels like the Dodgers should stall out at 99 wins, no?
3

86

69

95.3

101.0

99.9

.616

.621

0.4%

99.6%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Pretty disrespectful of the Yankees to celebrate clinching a playoff spot when they could’ve used that time to honor the troops.
4

95

60

92.8

96.8

95.9

.614

.618

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

If Sports Illustrated prints another cover on the Astros before the postseason maybe the curse will be nullified?
5

94

61

92.7

94.2

91.9

.601

.597

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Did you guys see that crazy picture of Jayson Werth dressed up as Jon Snow and the Nationals in October dressed as the Red Wedding?
6

90

66

92.6

92.2

91.6

.587

.582

0.0%

100.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

If we really want to deter North Korea maybe we can just point J.D. Martinez at it?
7

91

64

91.1

85.7

86.4

.571

.576

99.6%

0.4%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

It’s that special time of year in New England when people have more affinity for the Patriots’ third receiver than they do for their 90-plus win baseball team.
8

87

68

88.3

91.5

89.8

.575

.570

99.5%

0.3%

99.8%

0.8%

7.0%

There might only be a few games left, but I’m convinced this season of NL Central baseball will never end. It’s purgatory, and every team will be within 6 games of .500 forever.
9

81

74

85.2

86.2

85.5

.545

.540

0.4%

10.0%

10.4%

-12.1%

5.8%

Noted Ginger Ed Sheeran is apparently playing at Busch Stadium in 2018 if you’re wondering when Cthulhu is slated to return.
10

84

72

83.2

79.4

78.0

.520

.515

0.0%

76.5%

76.5%

23.3%

-8.5%

If this Rockies regular season ends with anything other than a Game 163-ending faceplant into home plate by, like, Gerardo Parra, it’ll be a disappointment.
11

82

74

81.5

78.7

78.4

.514

.509

0.1%

13.1%

13.2%

-12.0%

-4.3%

How is Orlando Arcia even strong enough to swing Miguel Cabrera’s bat? And if Arcia can swing that bat, does that mean Cabrera doesn’t need all that, err, girth?
12

82

74

80.3

78.7

78.0

.511

.516

0.0%

99.0%

99.0%

2.6%

26.0%

“That’s a nice playoff push,” the Indians say to the Twins as they welcome them to town. “Would be a shame if something were to happen to it ...”
13

76

79

78.8

74.7

75.0

.491

.496

0.0%

0.1%

0.1%

-1.2%

-1.7%

Yet another September in Texas in which Tony Romo is getting most of the headlines.
14

77

78

77.2

74.0

76.4

.491

.496

0.0%

0.9%

0.9%

-0.5%

-19.8%

I haven’t seen Angels fall like this since the beginning of Destiny 2.
15

76

80

76.2

83.4

84.7

.513

.518

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.4%

-0.9%

Guess what Evan Longoria’s OPS is under ...
16

75

81

75.3

75.2

76.4

.484

.489

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

-2.2%

The Mariners’ playoff drought can now legally drive, so that’s ... that’s not great.
17

73

82

73.1

73.1

72.7

.471

.466

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Giancarlo Stanton has 57 homers and is heading to Coors. Vegas is gonna make so, so much money on the under.
18

75

82

71.4

68.9

71.6

.457

.462

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.5%

It stinks that J.J. Hardy’s career is ending with a whimper. Who else on the Orioles will strike out a lot but hit for good power?
19

76

79

70.1

67.8

69.8

.458

.463

0.0%

0.1%

0.1%

-0.5%

-1.0%

Well, at least Alex Gordon has gone from “flatlined” to “on life support?”
20

71

85

70.0

67.1

67.6

.442

.437

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Maybe what matters isn’t your win total but how many Cardinals playoff hopes you kill along the way.
21

72

83

69.7

74.4

75.0

.470

.475

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Bruce Maxwell made a crappy choice by kneeling during the national anthem. No, literally -- his knee was probably coverage in sewage from the Coliseum.
22

70

84

69.4

68.9

68.0

.449

.444

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Two homers on Friday and an extension on Saturday. It’s Kurt Suzuki’s world; we’re all just living in it.
23

73

83

68.6

68.5

70.6

.450

.455

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

If you’re Jose Bautista how do you not flip your hat tip in your (potential) last home game as a Jay?
24

66

90

67.3

67.5

68.3

.431

.426

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

It took the Reds like 155 games, but they finally had a feel-good moment when Luke Farrell became the first pitcher to face a team managed by his father. The Reds got smoked, though.
25

63

92

67.2

64.2

66.1

.420

.425

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

“White Sox fans excited about future seasons” reads the WhiteSox.com headline that they also could’ve run on April 1.
26

62

94

67.0

65.7

65.3

.417

.412

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

“Wow, the Phillies’ youth movement is finally starting to show some dividends,” you say as you avoid eye contact with Maikel Franco and Odubel Herrera.
27

66

89

66.2

64.7

65.3

.423

.418

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

And so while Thor is back, the Mets are still living in the Dark World. I’m Tom Rinaldi. ES, PN.
28

62

94

63.6

64.8

65.4

.410

.415

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Sure, Miguel Cabrera has two herniated disks in his back, but why isn’t anyone talking about all of his healthy disks?
29

61

95

62.8

58.7

60.5

.389

.385

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The last time a Giant limped to the end of his career the way Matt Cain has, Ramsay Bolton was about to shoot him.
30

70

86

59.0

61.9

64.1

.409

.404

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

“Actually, Petco isn’t even that much of a pitcher’s park anymore” you tell me as you learn that Jhoulys Chacin leads the league in home ERA. “It’s really changed over the years.”