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Prospectus Hit List for September 11



by Ben Carsley

Hit List for September 7 Hit List for September 14
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

Hey everybody! We're going streaking!

RkTmWLW1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff%1-Day 7-Day
1

78

65

76.3

73.4

72.9

.526

.521

0.0%

78.1%

78.1%

4.5%

31.8%

If you’re going to list a bunch of signs that the apocalypse is coming you better include Jon Gray out pitching Clayton Kershaw in LA.
2

75

68

79.2

79.4

79.0

.546

.542

22.7%

8.4%

31.1%

2.3%

8.3%

“Cards’ Pham again batting vision issues” reads the Cardinals.com headline that I presume was written by Sam Miller.
3

77

65

86.1

91.4

90.8

.608

.613

20.3%

78.7%

99.0%

1.3%

5.0%

Looks like Aaron Judge is heating up again. Sure, that only brings him back up to room temperature, but still.
4

73

70

71.9

67.9

69.2

.493

.498

0.0%

22.3%

22.3%

8.8%

3.6%

Andrew Heaney is about as durable as a BMW.
5

71

71

74.6

71.5

71.8

.509

.514

0.0%

13.4%

13.4%

-3.4%

2.5%

Congrats to the Rangers on improving from “noticeably bad” to “just as mediocre as most AL teams!”
6

71

71

64.5

61.9

63.7

.460

.465

0.0%

5.8%

5.8%

2.2%

1.0%

It’s late. Ned Yost has just finished his fourth whiskey neat. But he can’t stop; the structure he once loved is gone. “The ninth innings belongs to ...” he trails off, sadly. He pours another drink.
7

81

62

81.3

77.7

78.6

.557

.562

79.6%

20.4%

100.0%

0.0%

0.5%

Fernando Abad recorded a strikeout with a 55 mph pitch yesterday. Somewhere, Jered Weaver smiles. Or at least softens his scowl.
8

83

60

85.7

85.2

85.5

.593

.589

0.2%

99.8%

100.0%

0.1%

0.1%

If you lie really still at night you can actually hear J.D. Martinez’s contract demands going up.
9

63

80

63.9

61.7

62.0

.438

.433

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Noah Syndergaard reaggravated his lat in a minor league rehab outing on Thursday, so expect Terry Collins to ask him to throw 120 pitches some time later this week.
10

63

80

62.5

67.5

68.5

.457

.462

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Maybe Oakland can ship the A’s to Las Vegas instead of the Raiders and hope no one notices?
11

54

89

59.1

58.6

58.3

.402

.397

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

How is it that the Phillies have the worst record in baseball and yet are only, like, the third-most depressing team in their own division?
12

65

79

56.8

58.4

59.8

.417

.412

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

“Three solo homers too much for Padres” reads the Padres.com headline that accurately sums up the last, like, 10 years of Padres baseball.
13

56

89

57.4

53.5

54.3

.382

.377

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Continuing to play Pablo Sandoval at this point is just cruel, like when that one friend refuses to say goodbye to his dog after the back legs go.
14

88

55

87.2

88.8

86.7

.613

.608

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Somehow, the Nats becoming the first team to secure a playoff berth says more about the Dodgers than it does the Nationals.
15

64

78

63.2

62.5

61.7

.443

.438

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Braves’ plan to field a lineup consisting entirely of reclamation projects named “Adams” is really starting to pay dividends.
16

92

51

89.7

93.4

92.9

.643

.639

99.8%

0.2%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

So the Dodgers are the All-Star team and the Indians are the Monstars, right?
17

56

86

59.4

56.8

58.7

.406

.411

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Between the mullet, glasses and throwback uniforms, Carson Fulmer looks more like a Will Ferrell character than an actual 2017 baseballer.
18

86

57

85.3

89.0

88.6

.610

.615

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Getting out to a huge division lead, allowing it to dwindle and getting swept by a lowly division rival ... the Astros are plagiarizing the Dodgers, imo.
19

60

82

61.4

61.7

62.0

.431

.436

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Raise your hand if you can name four everyday players for the Tigers aside from Miguel Cabrera and Ian Kinsler. If you don’t live in Detroit you should put your hand down, you liar.
20

87

56

93.2

97.8

95.8

.653

.658

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

18-0 is mighty impressive, but it does mean that the Indians are likely to lose to the Giants in the Super Bowl.
21

62

82

63.0

63.0

63.5

.437

.432

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Listen, I’ve put up with a lot of weird baseball names over the years, but “Vincej” really crosses the line. What the hell is that???
22

66

77

62.3

62.4

64.3

.446

.451

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

Don’t read too much into Teoscar Hernandez’s big night; if we know one thing about the Astros, it’s that they’d never get rid of the wrong outfielders.
23

67

77

64.4

62.2

62.6

.445

.440

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.1%

“Around goes Frazier on inside-the-park HR” reads the Pirates.com headline that features the most forced pun this side of Meg Rowley’s twitter account.
24

74

69

70.5

70.5

70.3

.499

.504

0.0%

46.6%

46.6%

-8.4%

-0.3%

Minnesota set a new club record for the most double plays in a four-game series in their history, meaning there’s a new Twins twin-killing benchmark.
25

71

73

70.7

76.8

77.5

.514

.519

0.0%

4.3%

4.3%

1.7%

-1.4%

The Rays are so good at playing spoiler they might as well be lurking on a Game of Thrones subreddit.
26

71

72

69.4

68.5

69.3

.486

.491

0.0%

5.2%

5.2%

-1.3%

-3.3%

If we really want to slow down the next major hurricane we should put it in the Mariners rotation.
27

68

75

67.7

68.8

68.7

.478

.473

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.1%

-3.4%

Is anyone better when under emotional stress than Dee Gordon? He is truly incredible.
28

71

72

67.5

64.8

66.6

.472

.477

0.0%

3.3%

3.4%

-0.9%

-7.6%

“O’s aim to turn the page” and “Jimenes to return as starter” are parts of two Orioles.com headlines that appear close to each other, so ...
29

75

68

74.0

70.4

70.1

.506

.501

17.0%

5.9%

22.9%

5.1%

-10.7%

Was stealing Travis Shaw not enough? Now the Brewers have to steal fun outfield dances after victories from Boston, too?
30

77

66

78.7

82.6

80.9

.558

.553

60.3%

7.7%

68.0%

-11.8%

-26.2%

“Even a bat in the infield can’t stop Baez” reads the Cubs.com headline that’s also the plot to the next Dark Knight movie.