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Prospectus Hit List for August 26



by Matthew Kory

Hit List for August 22 Hit List for August 29
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

We've reached the soup-and-pizza-restaurant-idea part of the season.

RkTm WLW1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff%1-Day7-Day
1

81

45

85.7

90.3

89.0

.687

.682

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

If the Cubs keep winning like this they’re going to end up ruining the life of some poor fan or getting eternally cursed by a passive farm animal. Stop it, Cubs! You’re messing with forces you can’t possibly care about!
2

75

53

64.8

62.2

62.1

.516

.521

92.1%

4.3%

96.4%

2.9%

0.9%

The Rangers started Carlos Gomez, who became the 50th player to play for them this season. Also, since it was Carlos Gomez, you know there will be a 51st.
3

74

53

78.3

81.4

80.6

.619

.614

98.8%

1.0%

99.8%

0.0%

-0.1%

Ten strikeouts, no walks, no homers allowed. Yesterday was the day Nationals’ ace Max Scherzer became a True Yankee.
4

72

54

71.7

72.1

70.9

.569

.574

86.5%

7.9%

94.4%

-2.2%

-3.6%

Jason Kipnis pretended to be scared of a Rougned Odor punch after Odor's hard slide into second base. The move provoked laughs until Rajai Davis came up behind the laughing Odor and hit him with a sledgehammer.
5

71

56

73.1

74.7

75.0

.578

.583

36.3%

46.3%

82.6%

-3.4%

-6.4%

There’s no shame in losing to Mike Trout, only tremendous crushing shame in losing to the rest of his team.
6

71

56

75.0

78.3

78.6

.596

.601

52.2%

35.3%

87.5%

-1.7%

2.9%

David Ortiz is the oldest player ever to hit 30 homers in a season and the youngest player to take 30 years to round the bases after a single homer.
7

71

56

70.9

76.7

76.1

.580

.575

76.2%

19.7%

95.9%

-1.4%

0.5%

For next time: the Dodgers need to invent a way to drop an insane number of balloons on the field as soon as they break up a no-hitter.
8

70

57

66.0

63.9

64.6

.521

.526

10.7%

32.7%

43.4%

-4.0%

-8.1%

The three pitchers used by Baltimore yesterday, by ERA: 6.62, 9.95, 5.89. You’ll never guess the resu... oh, you did.
9

69

58

68.7

70.9

70.7

.550

.545

23.8%

52.9%

76.7%

6.4%

-5.8%

In 8 2/3 innings Matt Moore gave up one hit. Like all crushing death blows, it came at the very end.
10

68

59

65.8

67.9

67.5

.530

.535

12.1%

30.6%

42.7%

9.9%

14.2%

Kyle Ryan’s first name is abbreviated as K on MLB GameDay, a pretty good initial for a reliever. He allowed three runs yesterday, though, which reminds me that his name displays as, phonetically, Cryin', which is not.
11

67

59

71.2

75.4

74.7

.572

.567

0.0%

70.4%

70.5%

-5.0%

0.9%

Last night the Cardinals had, officially, at one time or another, eight different players hitting ninth in the order. National League baseball!
12

67

60

68.0

66.4

66.0

.526

.531

6.0%

19.5%

25.5%

-5.4%

-15.5%

Hey Mariners, it can be tough when you run into Anthony Ranaudo and his 9-plus ERA. Studies have shown what damage constant snickering can do to the body.
13

66

61

68.1

66.5

65.3

.523

.528

1.8%

13.0%

14.8%

0.3%

8.5%

Jose Altuve’s new concept for a pizza and soup restaurant delivered by line drives is, I fear, going to turn out badly.
14

66

61

61.0

58.5

58.9

.481

.486

1.3%

5.7%

7.0%

2.7%

5.1%

Jarrod Dyson stole a homer at Marlins Park, thereby revealing a previously unknown part of the statue where the spinning dolphins put on old timey prison garb and sing Folsom Prison Blues.
15

66

61

64.9

65.9

65.4

.516

.511

0.6%

25.8%

26.4%

-5.9%

11.2%

Dee Gordon led off and left seven men on base, both of which, globally speaking, are causes and explanations for each other.
16

65

61

60.6

62.4

63.5

.499

.504

0.8%

4.4%

5.2%

0.9%

1.8%

Gary Sanchez hit his ninth homer. He’s 11 behind the league-leading catcher. He’s played 19 games.
17

64

61

63.1

58.8

59.3

.490

.485

0.0%

11.5%

11.5%

1.9%

-13.4%

After Andrew McCutchen’s homer sent fantasy owners everywhere scurrying to see if they had left him in the lineup, Pirates manager Clint Hurdle calmly walked over to the posted lineup card, checked it, and sighed contentedly.
18

64

63

62.3

63.5

64.1

.500

.495

0.6%

18.1%

18.8%

4.0%

7.4%

Yoenis Cespedes stated he will not opt out of his contract with the Mets. He went on to say he will continue breathing water, eating rocks, and delivering toys in the middle of the night to every boy and girl who loses a tooth.
19

61

65

58.8

56.9

57.5

.465

.470

0.1%

0.3%

0.5%

0.1%

0.1%

Anytime you win a game with a starter who has a worse-than-9-run ERA you know it’s your year. The Chicago White Sox are your 2016 World Series winners!
20

60

67

64.3

64.7

64.3

.499

.494

0.1%

0.5%

0.5%

0.1%

-0.6%

Do you know how many times the Rockies have scored one or zero runs in a game? Actually it’s a lot. Baseball season is long, man.
21

59

68

50.0

48.7

49.0

.407

.402

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.1%

The Phillies traded Carlos Ruiz to the Dodgers but still expect to win the World Series in 2008.
22

56

71

55.4

53.5

52.7

.428

.423

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

We need to start a campaign to get Chris Carter nicknamed “Placeholder.”
23

55

72

53.9

53.1

53.4

.424

.429

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The A’s are like Frank who lives a few doors down, never leaves the apartment, and you didn’t know he lived there until three years after he moved in.
24

54

72

51.9

44.9

46.0

.391

.386

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Did you see Billy Hamilton’s great catch? Me neither because he plays for the Reds.
25

54

72

61.1

63.0

64.3

.481

.486

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Rays have hit into only 66 double plays, fewest in baseball. Sounds good until you consider that to hit into a double play you have to put someone on base. Oops.
26

54

73

59.5

53.0

54.3

.435

.440

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Update: Mike Trout has 6.9 WARP. Everyone else on the Angels has 7.9 WARP.
27

53

74

56.6

50.5

50.4

.414

.410

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Brandon Morrow pitched on Wednesday. The Padres have entered the phase in the baseball season where they are actually throwing baseballs at Chinese vases.
28

53

75

51.5

53.1

54.4

.414

.409

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Just show me one thing that doesn’t not undisqualify the Diamondbacks front office see you can’t do it gotta meeting bye!
29

49

78

52.7

55.0

54.8

.416

.421

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Has anyone examined Trevor Plouffe’s MVP candidacy? No? I’m officially disappointed in you, internet.
30

47

81

48.1

52.5

52.5

.391

.386

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

If the Braves don’t start losing, the Diamondbacks will move ahead of them for the first pick and Atlanta will have to wait six months to trade for the first overall pick instead of grabbing the guy themselves.