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Prospectus Hit List for April 22



by Matthew Kory

Hit List for April 18 Hit List for April 25
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

It's Friday, Friday, remember that song called Friday?

RkTmWLW1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff%1-Day7-Day
1

12

4

13.7

14.2

14.2

.713

.708

83.8%

10.3%

94.1%

2.4%

3.8%

Cubs pitchers have two doubles and a homer and are slugging .364. which is 150 points higher than Jason Heyward. See how I turned a positive into a negative? Sorry, but this is the Cubs comment.
2

11

4

10.9

11.0

10.4

.632

.628

52.9%

27.9%

80.8%

-2.5%

2.2%

Bryce Harper is on pace for 86 homers and the craziest part is taking the over on that isn’t really that crazy.
3

10

6

10.3

11.3

10.4

.619

.615

78.1%

10.0%

88.1%

1.3%

3.0%

Clayton Kershaw threw a 46 mph pitch yesterday. The pitch was so slow it froze the batter, the umpire, and virtually everyone in the stands. It was not unlike Kershaw stood on the rubber, went into the windup and released a Yeti.
4

8

7

10.4

10.9

10.7

.586

.582

7.6%

27.0%

34.6%

-0.2%

1.1%

The Cardinals have thrown 2113 pitches this season. That’s over two miles worth of pitches. What, you came here looking for a point? No no, you wan the other articles.
5

10

4

8.7

9.4

9.4

.571

.576

9.3%

11.6%

20.9%

2.4%

2.5%

Harper and Trout might be the best players in baseball, but Manny Machado is the best ballplayer because you can’t own that tile without something neither Trout nor Harper has: alliteration.
6

7

7

8.4

8.9

8.1

.572

.568

44.4%

29.8%

74.3%

-1.2%

8.0%

The Mets have grounded into four double plays. Only four! Jose Bautista hit into three in one game last week. Also they have Noah Syndergaard. What’s going on?
7

10

6

8.7

9.9

9.3

.559

.564

29.1%

23.6%

52.7%

-4.9%

-4.4%

The secret to the White Sox’s success this season? Lots of holds. Also probably relevant actual-baseball stuff.
8

10

5

9.2

8.3

8.2

.532

.537

8.2%

12.6%

20.8%

4.9%

3.0%

Salvator Perez is slugging .630 virtually ensuring he’ll become the first ever catcher to catch more innings than his team actually plays. Don’t worry, Ned Yost is figuring out the math as we speak.
9

8

6

8.1

7.6

7.8

.527

.532

11.7%

15.5%

27.2%

-3.6%

-1.8%

And now my one-act play entitled 2016 Detroit Tigers: “Alex Gordon made an amazing running catch yesterday!” “Wow! The Royals sure are good.” “Yup! Sure are.” “Uh… Who hit the ball?” “What? Oh, uh, some Tigers guy, I think.” [exeunt]
10

8

8

8.4

9.6

9.1

.529

.524

6.4%

24.6%

31.0%

2.8%

-0.7%

The Pirates released Michael Morse. Do you think the team all gathered in the break room for cupcakes and awkward good-byes before Morse cleaned out his desk?
11

8

9

8.9

8.7

8.8

.519

.524

21.9%

19.1%

41.0%

-2.1%

-0.5%

Marcus Stroman has a 4.76 K/9. Anything below five and we have to replace the E in Ace with a K.
12

7

8

7.9

8.0

7.6

.517

.522

35.8%

10.6%

46.4%

4.8%

7.8%

Mike Zunino is burning it up in Triple-A. It seems the Mariners have finally figured out the secret to turning him into a good hitter: make the pitching easier.
13

7

8

6.9

7.5

7.6

.516

.521

30.8%

21.8%

52.6%

5.3%

9.2%

Chris Archer has given up 16 runs in 19.2 innings. It’s like when you ask a kid her age and she says four and a three quarters. When you give up that many runs you better be sure and mention those two thirds of an inning.
14

7

8

7.4

7.1

7.4

.512

.517

26.9%

18.4%

45.2%

-4.6%

0.4%

Most seem to think Henry Owens will replace Joe Kelly in the rotation but I think the S on the end ruins the ‘two first names’ aspect so my money is on Kyle Martin.
15

10

6

9.0

7.8

7.8

.509

.514

19.3%

8.2%

27.5%

2.9%

6.2%

Now that Adrian Beltre has re-signed it’s time to turn attention to the statue that will inevitably adorn the exterior of Rangers Ballpark. I suggest a headless statue so Beltre doesn’t have to spend all his free time hiding behind it in order to glare at anyone who pats his head.
16

6

7

6.1

5.4

5.8

.508

.513

47.9%

22.2%

70.1%

-3.5%

-9.0%

You probably didn’t remember that Corey Kluber used to pitch in the Padres system. He has a 6.16 ERA. There. I reminded you.
17

9

7

8.3

8.1

8.0

.496

.501

12.4%

5.7%

18.0%

1.0%

7.2%

Remember how there used to be two Adrian Petersons and every year during the fantasy football draft someone would draft the wrong one? The A’s should locate and sign another guy named Sonny Gray specifically so they can trade him to the Red Sox.
18

5

9

6.0

6.8

6.7

.480

.485

11.1%

11.1%

22.2%

-2.2%

-10.7%

If you plug Alex Rodriguez’s increasing strikeout percentages over the last five seasons into Excel, you learn that if things continue this way, Rodriguez will strikeout 102 percent of the time when he’s 61 years old.
19

9

8

8.1

8.0

8.8

.488

.483

6.4%

12.6%

19.0%

3.9%

10.5%

Zack Greinke is having trouble with his pitching. Learn more about it in my new e-book, “Zack Greinke’s Pitching: An E-Adventure To Bilk You Out Of Money.”
20

8

7

6.9

7.5

7.4

.480

.475

3.4%

8.9%

12.3%

1.6%

1.8%

The Rockies have been caught stealing seven out of 17 times. They’re also slugging .500 as a team, which begs the question, “what the?” That should probably be the team’s slogan.
21

7

10

8.4

6.9

7.0

.479

.474

10.4%

21.0%

31.5%

-6.0%

-21.4%

This season the most difficult park to hit in is AT&T park in San Francisco. Statisticians have long considered the ampersand an impediment to hitting and now we’re finally seeing it.
22

5

9

6.6

7.3

7.8

.474

.469

1.9%

6.8%

8.7%

1.7%

-4.4%

Christian Yelich is hitting like Giancarlo Stanton, and Stanton is hitting like Martin Prado, and Prado is hitting like Dee Gordon, and Dee Gordon is hitting like Marcell Ozuna, and Ozuna is hitting like you and you are not good sorry.
23

5

11

6.4

7.9

7.5

.455

.460

3.2%

5.9%

9.1%

2.6%

3.9%

The Twins scored eight runs, the most they’ve scored all season, and gave up just one run, the least they’d allowed all season. They still lost. Okay, no, but you bought it for a second, didn’t you?
24

5

11

6.0

6.2

5.9

.452

.457

26.1%

10.3%

36.5%

-3.9%

-9.6%

At what point is Dallas Keuchel going to stop pitching, listen to his beard, and open a barber shop/record label?
25

7

9

6.5

5.3

5.9

.428

.433

6.4%

3.5%

9.9%

0.9%

-4.1%

The Angels lead baseball in balks. No wonder they’re so bad! (It’s one though.) (Just one balk.) (Still, they’re kinda bad.)
26

6

10

5.9

5.6

5.2

.414

.409

1.6%

4.5%

6.1%

-0.7%

0.5%

Tyson Ross is going to have an MRI on his ailing right shoulder which reminds me of the great thing about the Padres: they’re in San Diego and beaches don’t have shoulders.
27

8

8

5.0

4.2

4.9

.404

.399

1.1%

7.7%

8.8%

-0.5%

-0.4%

After getting no-hit last night, Reds twitter recapped the game by saying “Reds draw four walks versus Cubs.” It was not my joke but I felt strongly you needed to hear it.
28

7

9

4.8

3.6

3.5

.382

.378

1.2%

6.8%

7.9%

-2.7%

-3.5%

With 10 caught stealings, the Brewers are leading the way in pushing back at baseball’s crime epidemic.
29

7

9

4.5

5.2

5.3

.381

.377

0.6%

1.4%

2.1%

0.2%

-1.0%

The Phillies may not win many games this season but starting a giant spider at catcher seems like the kind of experiment a team like this should be running.
30

4

11

5.3

4.4

5.4

.369

.364

0.1%

0.6%

0.7%

-0.1%

0.3%

As a team, the Braves have hit three homers. This is probably why they are the only team whose slugging percentage is lower than their on-base percentage. There’s a joke here somewhere but I’m too busy crying to find it.