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Prospectus Hit List for April 10



by Matt Sussman

Hit List for April 8 Hit List for April 13
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

It's Friday, Friday, repeating this gag on Friday.

RkTm WLW1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff%1-Day7-Day
1

3

0

2.8

2.6

2.4

.670

.652

3.7%

4.9%

8.6%

-0.0%

0.0%

If you ask me, this team is a shutdown closer away from competing.
2

3

0

2.1

1.8

1.7

.592

.573

7.9%

8.3%

16.2%

-0.6%

0.0%

Hey Joey Votto, don't hit a home run and tell me it's raining, since those were two separate events that happened yesterday.
3

3

0

2.7

2.8

2.8

.694

.711

11.0%

6.0%

16.9%

2.7%

0.0%

The first thing you need to know about rookie outfielder Paulo Orlando is he is absolutely not a lounge singer. At least not anymore.
4

3

0

3.0

2.9

2.9

.748

.763

45.4%

10.5%

56.0%

1.4%

0.0%

Bad news for Tigers fans: Joe Nathan went on the disabled list. Good news for Tigers fans: we made a mistake in our "bad news" section.
5

3

0

2.7

2.8

2.7

.692

.674

1.7%

7.8%

9.5%

3.8%

0.0%

With LaTroy Hawkins and Rafael Betancourt on the team, it's no wonder the bullpen's daily exercise starts with a rousing episode of mall walking.
6

3

1

2.5

3.0

2.8

.610

.590

12.9%

29.5%

42.5%

1.4%

0.0%

This new hipster hangout spot, the Giants Disabled List, getting noticed by the mainstream roster and honestly is starting to go downhill a little.
7

2

1

1.7

2.1

2.0

.627

.608

74.2%

15.6%

89.8%

-0.9%

0.0%

Where were you for Adrian Gonzalez last year when through his first three games he was just 1-for-9 with four strikeouts?
8

2

1

1.7

1.5

1.5

.557

.577

52.4%

19.7%

72.0%

-0.6%

0.0%

Today in Small Sample Size Wonders, episode #4529, your Angels season leader in hits is Johnny Giavotella. Tune in tomorrow, when this stat will be ancient history.
9

2

1

2.1

1.4

1.4

.543

.523

22.8%

18.6%

41.3%

1.8%

0.0%

A healthy Matt Harvey makes Mets fans more optimistic than ever, which is going to suck when Matt Harvey retires next year to fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming a ventriloquist.
10

2

2

2.8

3.1

2.9

.594

.613

16.0%

19.2%

35.1%

-2.6%

0.0%

Catholics will not buy Kendall Graveman's baseball card, because as it says in the Bible, thou shalt not make Graveman images.
11

2

1

1.9

1.3

1.3

.514

.534

8.3%

11.9%

20.2%

-1.7%

0.0%

Of their active position players, two of them are younger than 27; Manny "Two Knee Surgeries" Machado, and Jonathan Schoop, who doesn't get a nickname until we all agree on how to pronounce his name.
12

2

1

2.3

1.3

1.4

.539

.559

12.9%

17.3%

30.2%

3.5%

0.0%

Daniel Norris is good enough to stay in the rotation, but if he ever gets a bullpen assignment, he can always vouch to use his van as a bullpen car.
13

2

1

2.6

2.7

2.6

.686

.703

43.5%

20.8%

64.4%

4.9%

0.0%

Six strong innings of pitching, plus two hits of his own? Justin was certainly the Masterson of his own domain.
14

2

1

2.3

2.5

2.5

.632

.650

27.7%

11.0%

38.6%

2.7%

0.0%

They were one inning away from their first no-hitter in 34 years, but it was going to be a combined no-hitter. So maybe they can combine those eight no-hit innings with one no-hit inning today, and call it even.
15

2

2

1.2

0.9

1.1

.407

.427

6.4%

11.0%

17.4%

1.5%

0.0%

Another 10-1 game. Man, if they don't turn things around quic— never mind, they had the 10.
16

1

1

1.3

1.5

1.5

.607

.587

49.5%

17.2%

66.7%

3.1%

0.0%

Matt Belisle has all the makings of a veteran random Cardinals reliever you've barely heard of who has a career year.
17

1

2

1.3

1.5

1.5

.487

.507

21.0%

21.5%

42.5%

-4.7%

0.0%

You may wonder why Seth Smith only plays for West coast teams. Is he afraid if Five Guys, or wanted along the Eastern seaboard for selling counterfeit phone books?
18

1

3

1.7

1.4

1.5

.434

.414

10.4%

25.3%

35.7%

-4.5%

0.0%

The last time Andrew Cashner gave up three home runs in a game was 2013 at Petco Park and Brendan Ryan hit one of them and it was probably just Joe Blanton in a Andrew Cashner costume now that you mention it.
19

1

2

1.1

1.7

1.7

.496

.516

27.1%

22.9%

50.0%

0.2%

0.0%

Rene Rivera. Kevin Kiermayer. Steven Souza. David DeJesus. John Jaso. The Rays new management has discovered the new market inefficiency as alliteration, which really does prevent the spoonerisms.
20

1

1

0.7

0.5

0.5

.431

.411

24.4%

19.6%

44.0%

-1.4%

0.0%

Why not just bat the pitcher first, Joe Maddon, to "get it out of the way?"
21

1

2

0.4

0.3

0.4

.295

.279

0.7%

1.4%

2.1%

-0.2%

0.0%

Openly embracing Jeff Francoeur as a Phillies favorite is as Stockholm Syndrome as this season's gonna get.
22

1

2

0.7

1.7

1.6

.455

.475

8.1%

11.2%

19.3%

-2.3%

0.0%

Alex Rodriguez is six home runs away from passing Willie Mays on the all-time home run list, and he's going to demand we all start calling him Willie Mays, and there's no way we're going to let Willie Mays do that to us.
23

1

2

0.9

1.6

1.6

.495

.475

62.0%

14.5%

76.5%

-2.8%

0.0%

We were specifically promised a runaway division title by the Nationals, and we demand our money back, or at the very least, an opportunity to change our back to someone else, provided we get the chance to change it back to the Nationals next month.
24

1

2

1.2

0.7

0.7

.371

.353

0.8%

3.3%

4.1%

0.8%

0.0%

If the Diamondbacks catcher ever flips his bat after a home run, we will certainly confirm that Tuffy Gosewisch is a hot dog.
25

1

2

0.7

0.5

0.5

.354

.372

4.3%

7.6%

11.9%

-2.5%

0.0%

It's amazing that a strikeout against the Astros still counts in the record books as one whole strikeout.
26

0

3

0.9

1.2

1.3

.393

.374

10.4%

12.0%

22.4%

0.0%

0.0%

Getting swept to start the season isn't a great start, but most entry-level Pirates end up having having to sweep before getting to work the cannons and rope-swinging action scenes.
27

0

3

0.0

0.1

0.1

.227

.242

3.5%

2.1%

5.6%

0.8%

0.0%

They finally scored a run, so lay off 'em already.
28

0

3

0.2

0.4

0.6

.300

.283

10.8%

12.0%

22.8%

1.7%

0.0%

If a family of four can go to a Marlins game for under $94.50, congratulations, you beat Mat Latos's ERA.
29

0

3

0.3

0.2

0.2

.275

.291

12.5%

7.4%

19.9%

-3.4%

0.0%

It's still early, but if they keep losing like this, they may want to consider a Disco Reassembly Night.
30

0

3

0.3

0.2

0.3

.283

.267

7.8%

9.9%

17.7%

-2.2%

0.0%

When Bud Selig threw out the first pitch on Opening Day, I think we'd have all become fans of his if he circled the mound and took 30 seconds before finally delivering it. Maybe.