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Prospectus Hit List for September 29



by Matt Sussman and Matthew Kory

Hit List for September 26 Hit List for April 6
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

It's a clips show! Relive our favorite jokes from the season, many of which involve boating.

RkTmWLW1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff% 1-Day7-Day
1

88

74

98.6

98.0

97.7

.590

.609

0.0%

100.0%

100.0%

9.6%

7.3%

Oh great. Billy Beane wrote an op-ed in the Wall Street Journal about how great he is (I assume; I didn't actually read it).
2

79

83

78.1

76.4

76.4

.478

.458

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

"How dare someone smudge our logo! We wont stand for anyone making us look like fools," said players wearing racist uniforms.
3

70

92

74.6

73.1

73.1

.449

.469

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Now that the All-Star Game is over, no more games in Target Field will count.
4

84

78

77.5

76.5

77.4

.487

.507

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.4%

Joke about the "Re2pect" campaign all you want, but it is a stronger password than regular "respect."
5

79

83

82.3

77.0

76.8

.486

.466

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

"We had joy, we had fun, we had Curtis Granderson..."
6

73

89

73.3

71.7

73.0

.449

.429

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

This Thursday on prime-time TV, it's the critically-acclaimed sitcom about "Freddy Galvis hit into a fielder's choice double play, pitcher Drew Hutchison to third baseman Juan Francisco to shortstop Jose Reyes to first baseman Edwin Encarnacion to second baseman Steve Tolleson. Marlon Byrd out at 3rd. Freddy Galvis out at 2nd."
7

88

74

86.7

90.2

90.2

.548

.528

0.0%

100.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.2%

Vance Worley's strikeout rates, by season: 8.3, 8.1, 7.3, 4.6, 6.4. Guess which year he spent with the Twins.
8

77

85

75.7

71.5

72.7

.458

.438

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Show me all the birth certificates you want, but Cory Spangenberg is a fake name pulled from a rejected Saved By The Bell guest cameo.
9

88

74

86.8

89.0

88.0

.543

.523

0.0%

100.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.4%

Ever notice how many Brandons this team has? Brandon Crawford, Brandon Hicks, Brandon Belt, Pablo Brandonval, Brandison Brandgartner, Tim Brancecon and Branster Posey.
10

90

72

82.9

84.4

83.7

.526

.506

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Don't want to tell the Cardinals hitting coach how to do his job, but the team might hit the ball better without birds sitting on their bats.
11

77

85

79.5

86.4

86.4

.508

.528

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

They lost at home with the bases loaded, and to make things worse they couldn't include those three in the attendance.
12

67

95

66.6

63.3

66.1

.406

.425

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

"Scoring nine runs on eight hits is easy. Tell 'em Wash."
13

83

79

85.0

84.0

83.7

.518

.538

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

There's not much good news to report from the Blue Jays camp so let's just again point out that John Gibbons is a synonym for "toilet monkeys."
14

82

80

80.2

81.3

80.7

.500

.480

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.6%

The Brewers just ordered their latest shipment of feathers and ... oh dear, Carlos Gomez found the shipment and he's ruffling them! Will no one stop him?
15

77

85

77.8

76.2

75.9

.474

.454

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

If the Marlins trade Giancarlo Stanton they're going to need to find some bombs elsewhere, so maybe trade for one of those dogs from the airport.
16

94

68

92.2

95.8

94.0

.580

.560

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Are you sitting down? Good, Justin Turner is sixth on the team in runs scored, and you shouldn't stand up in a canoe.
17

64

98

67.1

67.8

67.9

.412

.393

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Unlike in the game RISK, the Diamondbacks are never again going to start a campaign in Australia.
18

98

64

96.2

98.5

97.5

.602

.621

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Who are these guys? What a bunch of no-names. I suppose it's like this with any team's accounting department staff email directory, but still.
19

96

66

93.6

91.1

91.1

.574

.593

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Chris Davis enjoyed beating the shift with two singles. Then he enjoyed the beat at The Shift with two singles. Life is good.
20

71

91

72.1

73.1

74.1

.448

.468

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Red Sox are at .500 for the first time since April 4th. Activate duck boats!
21

73

89

70.6

71.0

70.9

.441

.460

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

"You can put it on the boooooooardwalk, yes!" Man, why did I ever buy Hawkopoly?
22

73

89

70.6

76.8

77.5

.460

.440

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Good news, Cubs! Another prospect has been called up. Bad news: you're up to 51 players on the active roster; that is against the rules.
23

76

86

79.0

73.9

74.9

.469

.449

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

You can't actually jinx a no-hitter, so it's pointless to think you could do anything to help the Reds get a hit in the first few innings.
24

85

77

82.8

83.3

81.9

.514

.534

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-8.0%

The Indians have a pitcher named C.C. Lee. Don't be stupid, he's obviously NOT the illegitimate lovechild of CC Sabathia and Cliff Lee. He's the illegitimate lovechild of CC Sabathia and Lee Elia.
25

66

96

74.8

76.8

72.5

.448

.428

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

In retrospect, a logo with a baseball flying over the Rocky Mountains maybe wasn't the image a team with pitchers should try to project.
26

90

72

86.4

88.5

87.3

.544

.563

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.6%

It's been a rough season for Justin Verlander but at least his practical joke of finishing with a career .069/.069/.069 hitting line is landing perfectly.
27

70

92

70.7

72.5

74.3

.444

.463

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The most extreme shift they played this year was moving the third baseman all the way into a Houston family's home and turn their TV to the Astros game.
28

89

73

84.1

78.5

78.6

.510

.530

0.0%

100.0%

100.0%

0.0%

26.8%

Aaron Crow should stop giving up grand slams in pennant chases and go back to peddling whatever kids' cereal he is the mascot of.
29

96

66

96.2

98.2

96.7

.597

.578

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Not only have the Nationals won eight in a row but this month will mark the 15th straight month a National has been on the cover of the Nationals Scorecard
30

87

75

90.6

87.2

87.7

.544

.564

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-9.6%

-26.2%

Seven singles and no doubles. Mariners baseball, or the first time you played Tetris?