Prospectus Hit List for September 17
Hit List for September 15
Hit List for September 19
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.
| Rk | Tm | W | L | W1 | W2 | W3 | HLF | AHLF | Win Div% | Win WC% | Playoff% |  1-Day | 7-Day |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |  | 81 | 69 | 87.6 | 83.3 | 82.9 | .558 | .578 | 0.0% | 36.3% | 36.3% | 17.0% | -11.5% |
| All things considered, Endy Chavez is having a breakout season. For Endy Chavez. | |||||||||||||
| 2 |  | 79 | 72 | 75.6 | 75.6 | 74.9 | .505 | .485 | 1.5% | 26.9% | 28.4% | 1.8% | 9.3% |
| Quietly, Milwaukee made a nice little pickup with Gerardo Parra. Noisily, Milwaukee fell down the stairs down the stretch Chevy Chase-as-Gerald Ford-style. | |||||||||||||
| 3 |  | 77 | 73 | 75.7 | 75.8 | 74.6 | .505 | .525 | 0.1% | 4.0% | 4.0% | 1.2% | -2.0% |
| Jason Giambi doesn't need a retirement tour. Just an open field to stand and gaze toward the mountains. | |||||||||||||
| 4 |  | 80 | 70 | 79.2 | 82.3 | 82.7 | .540 | .520 | 10.8% | 63.5% | 74.3% | 1.0% | 18.2% |
| You don't know who John Holdzkom is, but he's the feel-good reliever story of the month. Make up your own cool story while you're at it. John Holdzkom was discovered, let's say, at Walgreen's. | |||||||||||||
| 5 |  | 83 | 68 | 82.6 | 84.7 | 83.8 | .553 | .533 | 11.1% | 87.6% | 98.7% | 0.5% | 0.1% |
| Maybe if Sergio Romo asks people nicely, the opposing batters won't swing? | |||||||||||||
| 6 |  | 70 | 80 | 68.7 | 64.0 | 64.8 | .446 | .426 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Just so we're clear, it's a "Maddux" if the guy throws a complete game under 100 pitches, and a "Cashner" if he did it with a beard. | |||||||||||||
| 7 |  | 74 | 78 | 77.2 | 83.3 | 83.4 | .523 | .543 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Why did Jose Molina help present Derek Jeter with a "framed" jers... oh I get it! | |||||||||||||
| 8 |  | 69 | 82 | 68.7 | 66.9 | 68.2 | .452 | .432 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| It's best to keep Ryan Howard next season, because they already put a downpayment on a giant cake that says "CONGRATULATIONS RYAN ON YOUR 350TH HOME RUN." And they don't want the money to go to waste! | |||||||||||||
| 9 |  | 58 | 92 | 59.0 | 56.8 | 59.3 | .388 | .408 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Adrian Beltre has the second-best OPS+ of his career, which means from now on he will perform well if surrounded by sadness. | |||||||||||||
| 10 |  | 73 | 79 | 75.4 | 69.9 | 69.8 | .474 | .454 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | -0.2% |
| "We had joy, we had fun, we had Curtis Granderson..." | |||||||||||||
| 11 |  | 64 | 87 | 68.4 | 67.6 | 67.6 | .443 | .463 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Kennys Vargas almosts hads as cycles buts couldn'ts hits as doubles. | |||||||||||||
| 12 |  | 94 | 57 | 91.6 | 93.6 | 92.7 | .616 | .634 | 100.0% | 0.0% | 100.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| By the time Mike Trout evolves into a Triple Crown-winner, they'll just end up giving the MVP to the guy with the highest WAR. | |||||||||||||
| 13 |  | 86 | 65 | 85.1 | 90.3 | 88.0 | .578 | .559 | 88.9% | 11.1% | 100.0% | 0.0% | 0.1% |
| Prediction: Clayton Kershaw will win the NL Cy Young. And possibly the AL Cy Young. And the previous three AL Cy Youngs. And a regional Emmy. | |||||||||||||
| 14 |  | 87 | 63 | 89.2 | 89.2 | 88.2 | .589 | .570 | 100.0% | 0.0% | 100.0% | 0.0% | 0.1% |
| They clinched the division! Now for Phase Two: Quebec secedes from Canada and becomes annexed into America's capital. | |||||||||||||
| 15 |  | 62 | 89 | 64.1 | 63.4 | 63.1 | .418 | .399 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Unlike the game RISK, the Diamondbacks are never again going to start a campaign in Australia. | |||||||||||||
| 16 |  | 91 | 60 | 87.7 | 85.5 | 85.6 | .579 | .599 | 100.0% | 0.0% | 100.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| They're AL East champions, but can the average Oriole fan name a single player? You can, if you legally change Steve Pearce's name to Boog Powell. | |||||||||||||
| 17 |  | 66 | 85 | 66.1 | 67.7 | 68.8 | .445 | .464 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Questions this offseason: do you keep Rusney Castillo in Triple-A for another year to defend Pawtucket's Triple-A title? | |||||||||||||
| 18 |  | 69 | 82 | 66.2 | 67.1 | 66.8 | .446 | .465 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Perhaps Robin Ventura makes so many pitching changes because he know every trip will most certainly not end in a headlock. | |||||||||||||
| 19 |  | 67 | 84 | 66.6 | 72.3 | 72.7 | .461 | .441 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| One more near-no-hitter by Jake Arrieta and the next one's half off! | |||||||||||||
| 20 |  | 71 | 81 | 73.7 | 69.3 | 70.1 | .467 | .447 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| You can't jinx a no-hitter, so it's pointless to think you can do anything that will let the Reds get a hit in the first few innings. | |||||||||||||
| 21 |  | 60 | 91 | 66.7 | 68.6 | 64.9 | .431 | .411 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| I wonder how many more tickets the Rockies would have sold if they billed it as "featuring 20-game winner Tyler Matzek*" and then in smaller print "* - including all career minor league games." At least eight more tickets. | |||||||||||||
| 22 |  | 67 | 84 | 65.7 | 67.7 | 70.0 | .448 | .468 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% |
| Through all the losses, Orbit is quickly asserting himself as one of the top mascots, meaning in 2017 they can trade him at the deadline for a bullpen arm. | |||||||||||||
| 23 |  | 73 | 77 | 72.2 | 72.4 | 71.4 | .482 | .462 | 0.0% | 0.0% | 0.0% | -0.1% | -1.9% |
| Brad Penny is still pitching in the majors. As in, he is still in a game that is going on between pitches. | |||||||||||||
| 24 |  | 76 | 74 | 71.0 | 69.8 | 70.6 | .479 | .499 | 0.0% | 0.1% | 0.1% | -0.1% | -0.6% |
| This is going to be super-awkward when it's the Yankees' turn to give Derek Jeter a gift and they totally space. | |||||||||||||
| 25 |  | 77 | 73 | 77.7 | 77.5 | 77.1 | .515 | .535 | 0.0% | 0.6% | 0.6% | -0.6% | -2.0% |
| Helping someone clinch the division is like helping someone move. In a couple years they owe you to return the favor. | |||||||||||||
| 26 |  | 83 | 68 | 76.6 | 79.5 | 79.0 | .526 | .506 | 87.7% | 10.1% | 97.9% | -1.2% | -1.2% |
| Out of habit, Mike Matheny calls for Allen Craig to pinch-hit, and Pete Kozma contemplates just grabbing a bat and seeing who stops him. | |||||||||||||
| 27 |  | 83 | 67 | 92.6 | 91.3 | 91.4 | .597 | .616 | 0.0% | 96.9% | 96.9% | -1.6% | 0.8% |
| Somehow, Josh Reddick leads the team in triples with five, two more than Coco Crisp, who missed three months of the season due to a super secret space mission. | |||||||||||||
| 28 |  | 84 | 67 | 81.3 | 82.6 | 81.7 | .546 | .566 | 85.5% | 11.7% | 97.2% | -1.7% | 12.2% |
| J.D. Martinez has eight home runs in the ninth inning, or as many as David Wright has on the season. | |||||||||||||
| 29 |  | 75 | 76 | 74.8 | 74.2 | 74.0 | .493 | .473 | 0.0% | 0.8% | 0.8% | -2.0% | -24.5% |
| Their new field, SunTrust Park, is going to be a big win for regional banking but a large affront to faithful moon worshippers. | |||||||||||||
| 30 |  | 82 | 68 | 77.2 | 71.3 | 71.5 | .503 | .523 | 14.4% | 50.4% | 64.8% | -14.1% | 3.0% |
| Kelvin Herrera was finally used in the sixth inning. Ned Yost's permit paperwork must have finally been notarized. | |||||||||||||
Don't sleep on this Hit List!