Quantcast

Prospectus Hit List for September 5



by Matt Sussman

Hit List for September 3 Hit List for September 8
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

Tomorrow is Saturday And Sunday comes after ... wards I don't want this Hit List to end

RkTmWLW1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff%1-Day7-Day
1

79

60

86.4

85.3

85.4

.605

.623

8.0%

89.4%

97.4%

-0.8%

-2.0%

Playing for Oakland may have caused Adam Dunn to reconsider retirement, which can mean only one thing: he has yet to use the clubhouse restroom.
2

84

55

81.5

84.5

84.2

.601

.620

91.7%

8.3%

100.0%

0.0%

0.1%

Would the Angels be so bold as to pinch-run Tony Campana for Mike Trout sometime this month and confuse the heck out of reality?
3

82

57

79.0

77.8

77.9

.570

.589

99.4%

0.4%

99.8%

0.1%

1.8%

More like Baltimost if you ask me. But you didn't ask me. Please continue reading, however.
4

76

63

81.7

78.6

78.2

.566

.585

0.3%

47.3%

47.6%

5.6%

4.9%

Still not sure why Seattle hasn't used a relatable Robinson Cano marketing campaign such as, "Bret Boone, but good."
5

79

59

81.4

80.6

80.1

.582

.562

98.4%

1.5%

99.9%

0.0%

1.9%

Adam LaRoche is the first Nationals player to have 5 RBI in a game they entered as a pinch-hitter. The game could have gone extra innings, but we suspect the grounds crew planted an extra base.
6

77

63

74.8

76.4

75.4

.542

.562

57.7%

19.8%

77.5%

5.0%

9.6%

The Tigers had four hits in the first, five hits in the 11th, and three hits in between, hence the need for an 11th inning.
7

78

62

76.6

80.6

78.9

.561

.541

76.1%

23.3%

99.4%

0.1%

0.2%

They're giving out Babe Ruth Dodgers bobbleheads next week, because that's what you do when given a ton of unsold Todd Coffey bobbleheads.
8

67

74

71.2

75.8

75.7

.514

.534

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.3%

The Rays have hidden their offense somewhere in the ballpark, and the first fan to find it wins a prize!
9

76

64

76.9

78.5

77.8

.552

.532

23.9%

67.1%

90.9%

0.0%

17.6%

Are we positive Travis Ishikawa isn't Australian? Because every time the Giants throw him away he comes right back!
10

77

61

72.1

66.3

66.8

.511

.531

40.2%

24.7%

65.0%

-4.6%

-7.8%

Wade Davis is basically pitching the stat line Koji Uehara used last year, in case you were wondering where the baseball gods misplaced it
11

72

67

70.4

70.9

70.5

.510

.530

0.3%

2.4%

2.7%

0.5%

1.4%

The Jays are not out of it completely yet, because you need to string out hope as long as possible until curling season.
12

71

67

70.2

69.8

68.9

.507

.527

2.0%

4.2%

6.3%

-6.1%

-3.1%

If Scott Atchison and Jason Giambi are growing mustaches with the rest of the team, they can parlay that into a Monopoly Man costume for Halloween.
13

72

66

66.0

65.5

65.8

.488

.508

0.4%

3.5%

3.9%

0.3%

-4.5%

Fun Fact: The Jeter Retirement Tour's opening act is an actual baseball team trying to hang with Wild Card contenders.
14

77

63

69.8

72.8

72.6

.522

.502

88.6%

5.8%

94.5%

3.7%

27.3%

Whoever said "ain't no way the Cardinals get back into first place," congratulations on jinxing it. Please report to the Principal's office.
15

71

68

70.4

72.7

73.5

.517

.497

2.1%

20.8%

22.9%

1.4%

-7.5%

Another bad second half is making it likely that the Pirates's playoff drought will extend yet again to one year.
16

73

67

72.2

70.7

70.6

.512

.492

1.6%

47.0%

48.6%

2.7%

2.4%

Braves fans are hurting from the absence of Dan Uggla. With actual production at second base, they're taking their frustrations out on their dogs and antique oil paintings.
17

73

67

70.2

69.8

69.4

.504

.484

9.3%

33.5%

42.8%

-7.6%

-39.8%

This nine-game losing streak is pretty rough, especially since they didn't even lose nine games in all of April.
18

61

79

65.5

65.0

64.8

.458

.477

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Memento 2: Leonard Shelby (Guy Pearce) keeps finding out daily that Jordan Schafer is with the Twins now.
19

61

79

61.9

63.1

64.0

.446

.466

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

That "2" in the HR column for Koji Uehara's last appearance must stand for "helluva reliever," because the other common acronym doesn't make sense.
20

63

76

61.1

61.4

61.2

.444

.464

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Now that they're out of playoff contention and traded most their bats, Robin Ventura can finally achieve his dream of 40 players pitching in a single game.
21

64

76

65.1

70.5

70.2

.482

.462

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

0.0%

Did you know Luis Valbuena has the second most walks by a Cubs player since 2012, and in September it's really difficult to find silver linings for this team?
22

61

79

60.8

61.3

62.8

.439

.459

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

In twist of irony, interim manager Tom Lawless is imposing a new set of rules for the rest of the season.
23

66

74

70.0

65.5

66.5

.479

.459

0.0%

0.2%

0.2%

-0.2%

-1.1%

Season-ending surgery is the new black, and Homer Bailey keeps up on all the latest fashion trends.
24

67

71

66.0

65.7

65.1

.478

.458

0.0%

0.6%

0.6%

-0.1%

-1.1%

Thirteen different pitchers have started a game for the Marlins this year. Name two of them. Yes, Mrs. Penny, your son is one of them.
25

66

74

68.5

63.4

63.6

.467

.447

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

They're forcing Juan Lagares to steal bases, which means Lagares can probably get immunity from the FBI when he testifies against the Mets.
26

64

75

63.3

64.0

65.1

.461

.441

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

If Ben Revere wins the batting title with a .314 average, it will be the second-lowest in National League history (Tony Gwynn had it with a .313 mark in 1988).
27

66

73

65.8

61.8

62.2

.460

.440

0.0%

0.1%

0.1%

-0.1%

-0.1%

Finish out the season spot starting pets in need of adoption. If you can't win a division, at least give some families some cute widdle puppies.
28

56

84

61.8

63.2

60.3

.431

.411

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

In many ways, taking two of three against San Francisco in September *is* their World Series.
29

59

81

60.0

60.7

60.3

.428

.409

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Actually, Daniel Hudson's Monster is the correct term for the pitcher that made it back to the big leagues. Daniel Hudson is the name of the doctor that found the discarded ligaments to make him.
30

53

87

54.9

52.2

54.2

.383

.402

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Rangers baseball doesn't determine who's right; Rangers baseball determines who's left.