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Prospectus Hit List for May 23



by Matthew Kory

Hit List for May 21 Hit List for May 28
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

It's Fry Day, Fry Day, get a hit list with fries day.

RkTmWLW1W2W3HLFAHLF Win Div%Win WC%Playoff%1-Day7-Day
1

27

16

26.0

25.9

25.1

.579

.598

82.3%

7.9%

90.3%

-1.3%

-1.8%

Robbie Ray traded for Doug Fister: Nationals win! Fister immediately hurt: Tigers win! Ray gives up seven runs in 3.1 innings: We are all losers!
2

26

21

25.8

26.5

25.8

.548

.528

57.4%

12.1%

69.5%

2.8%

16.6%

The bad news is Trevor Rosenthal has an ERA over four. The good news is seven of the top 16 closers in saves do too. Misery loves company, and saves.
3

30

17

33.6

33.5

33.0

.606

.625

57.2%

31.4%

88.5%

-1.3%

15.1%

The A’s have been caught stealing three times, fewest in baseball. One was Coco Crisp tripping, one was Eric Sogard adjusting his glasses, and one was Yoenis Cespedes who was safe but then tried to batflip the base.
4

29

19

27.5

25.9

26.1

.551

.531

48.2%

35.3%

83.5%

2.6%

-2.1%

I’m convinced the video of Hunter Pence swinging and the video of the ball flying over the wall are always spliced together.
5

24

23

24.0

23.8

24.0

.530

.510

44.9%

15.3%

60.2%

-6.4%

-9.1%

The link that says “Get Blake Treinin gear at the Washington Nationals shop” has never been clicked.
6

25

23

24.1

24.0

23.6

.556

.536

43.5%

38.0%

81.5%

-3.3%

-1.4%

The Dodgers are spending more than $200 million this season. Last night their leadoff man was Chone Figgins. (Of course he went 1-for-3 with a walk.)
7

26

20

24.0

24.9

24.7

.525

.505

41.8%

19.3%

61.0%

3.9%

8.9%

B.J. Upton homered no wait it was Justin no wait it was B.J.! He also walked and his batting average is up to .200. Cookies for everyone!
8

26

20

27.6

29.9

29.4

.580

.599

37.4%

44.0%

81.5%

2.7%

11.0%

Mike Scioscia: “Now what was I going to do? Hmmm… handcuff my hitters hands together? No… set all their bats in cement? No… Oh! I know! Sit Mike Trout.”
9

26

22

25.7

25.1

24.3

.522

.542

32.9%

11.8%

44.7%

5.7%

21.3%

Mark Buerhle’s fastball averaged under 85 mph. He threw seven innings and gave up two runs.
10

24

22

21.7

21.4

21.0

.502

.522

30.4%

12.4%

42.8%

-5.6%

-5.3%

Michael Pineda is due to come off the DL soon but it might take some extra effort to remove him, as pine tar is an adhesive.
11

28

20

24.4

24.4

23.6

.504

.484

29.0%

19.0%

48.0%

-4.0%

-13.6%

The Brewers are 8-12 in May and have been outscored by 16 runs, proving "the more you drink the worse you get" is true.
12

20

26

20.6

20.6

20.5

.492

.512

12.5%

8.7%

21.3%

1.7%

-25.6%

The last time the Red Sox won a game their starting third baseman was Will Middlebrooks, who we know has gone on to win three World Series with the Twins.
13

23

22

22.2

20.7

20.4

.481

.501

12.3%

8.1%

20.4%

-2.6%

0.7%

Darren O'Day has walked four and hit three, so there's a weird potential statistical achievement for you to start rooting for.
14

20

28

21.4

22.5

22.9

.499

.519

11.8%

7.9%

19.8%

3.1%

-4.3%

The Rays are planning a new shift for David Ortiz where they drug him, put him in a bag, toss him into the river, and then write “David Ortiz” on a collar and put it on a raccoon. Tampa’s analytics department is particularly excited about this one!
15

21

24

21.6

23.3

23.0

.492

.472

8.9%

8.1%

17.0%

-0.8%

-4.4%

Billy Hamilton has four triples and three doubles, meaning he has a chance to be the first hitter to hit more triples than doubles while still being not very good.
16

26

22

28.7

29.3

27.6

.537

.517

7.6%

29.2%

36.7%

2.8%

8.3%

Troy Tulowitzki is 0-for-2 with the bases loaded this season, which will be the first chapter of my book, entitled, Shut Up And Go Away With Your Dumb Stuff.
17

23

25

21.7

23.4

24.3

.487

.507

6.1%

13.3%

19.4%

3.4%

6.4%

Surprise! The Indians won Wednesday on a walk-off balk. That’s not the surprise though. The surprise is that they didn’t do it against the Astros.
18

20

24

18.8

18.6

19.2

.457

.437

5.3%

4.7%

10.0%

-0.2%

-1.0%

Marlon Byrd is hitting .298/.341/.503. And people say the Phillies don’t know what they’re doing.
19

23

23

23.3

22.2

21.9

.489

.509

4.7%

12.1%

16.8%

0.0%

-1.8%

The Royals finally decided to cut bait on someone that has been holding them down for too long. Ha ha! Just kidding, Dayton Moore is still the GM.
20

23

21

21.1

20.9

21.1

.475

.495

4.5%

11.1%

15.7%

1.0%

6.6%

Phil Hughes has six walks in 54 innings. It’s like he’s on the Twins or something.
21

25

23

27.1

27.1

27.0

.486

.466

4.5%

4.8%

9.2%

1.2%

4.5%

Marcell Ozuna has eight home runs is one example of a player you’ve never heard of doing good baseball things on a baseball team.
22

23

23

24.4

22.9

23.7

.503

.523

4.4%

19.7%

24.1%

2.4%

-3.5%

Washington State’s Department of Weapon Safety is looking for Fernando Rodney and his invisible bow and arrows. “Invisible people all over the state are in grave danger,” said a spokesman.
23

20

26

20.6

20.1

20.8

.468

.449

3.9%

4.4%

8.3%

1.6%

-0.2%

Edinson Volquez has a 4.37 ERA and a 4.73 career ERA which when you learn that his uniform number is 36 makes you question his control all the more.
24

21

25

21.6

19.2

19.5

.453

.433

3.6%

3.4%

7.0%

1.4%

-1.2%

Today was a successful day! Any day where the Mets don’t literally figuratively set money on fire is a successful day!
25

24

25

23.5

22.5

22.5

.467

.487

2.3%

7.2%

9.5%

1.1%

1.8%

Fred: Something’s fishy here. They’re not striking anyone out. Hmm… Velma: /pulls off White Sox relievers mask. Twins starters: And we would’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling kids!
26

23

24

20.4

19.6

20.4

.445

.465

1.0%

4.0%

5.1%

-10.5%

-20.6%

The Rangers bus stopped for sodas on the way to the airport. There were four fatalities.
27

17

28

23.0

23.3

22.9

.469

.449

0.8%

1.1%

1.9%

0.3%

1.0%

The Cubs are 17-28. They’re also one of the few teams in baseball yet to balk. Imagine how bad they’ll be then!
28

21

27

20.0

18.4

19.6

.452

.432

0.6%

4.0%

4.6%

-1.2%

-6.1%

The Padres are now six games under .500 and their best trade chip is playing terribly and destroying his value. But they all live in San Diego so life is amazing yay!
29

18

31

17.6

20.4

20.8

.436

.416

0.2%

1.4%

1.6%

-0.7%

-0.3%

The Diamondbacks have used eight starters so far this season and none has an ERA below 4.00. But sure, fire Kirk Gibson.
30

17

31

17.6

19.2

20.6

.406

.426

0.0%

0.2%

0.2%

0.0%

-0.0%

The Astros lost on a two-run infield single, which was probably your second guess.