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Prospectus Hit List for May 14



by Matthew Kory

Hit List for May 12 Hit List for May 16
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

Been around the world, don't speak the language. But your Hit List don't need explainin'.

RkTmWL W1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff%1-Day7-Day
1

13

27

14.0

15.1

16.1

.393

.412

0.0%

0.2%

0.2%

0.1%

0.1%

Dallas Keuchel is the second most famous player to pitch in the state where the city he’s named for is located, behind Intercourse Jackson of the Phillies.
2

16

26

14.7

18.0

18.6

.440

.420

0.2%

2.4%

2.6%

0.5%

1.0%

When the opposition decides not to participate or just can’t get the latest Staind single out of their head, Bronson Arroyo is very effective.
3

17

20

15.2

14.3

14.9

.448

.428

4.5%

5.4%

9.9%

-2.7%

-5.9%

Three errors for Cody Asche on the day, though one could argue getting out of bed was a fourth.
4

20

20

16.7

16.5

17.2

.470

.490

7.1%

16.9%

24.0%

-5.2%

-7.5%

Hey Rangers fans, grounding out to third, grounding out to shortstop, or striking out, that’s your Choice.
5

19

21

17.1

15.8

17.0

.457

.437

1.4%

6.6%

8.0%

1.1%

0.9%

It is May 14th and the Padres cleanup hitter is hitting .000. Carry on.
6

19

19

17.2

17.6

17.5

.497

.517

26.2%

13.3%

39.5%

-4.3%

-8.7%

Derek Jeter’s new autobiography was ghost-written by Yangervis Solarte.
7

16

22

17.4

16.8

17.4

.470

.450

5.2%

4.4%

9.6%

0.9%

2.1%

The Pirates lead baseball in not hitting doubles, said the Pirates mom.
8

20

17

17.6

15.4

15.4

.470

.490

11.5%

9.0%

20.4%

-0.3%

0.0%

His diploma reads “Tommy Hunter, BS.” Foreshadowing.
9

18

19

17.8

17.3

17.8

.467

.487

2.2%

6.7%

8.9%

0.8%

1.1%

The Twins have the best record in baseball against the AL East. I will now pull my beard out, hair by hair.
10

18

21

18.0

19.1

19.3

.481

.501

5.3%

9.6%

14.9%

-1.8%

3.8%

Sure the Indians are 12-8 at home and 6-13 on the road, but if you tell them they’re at home while they’re on the road, they’re 5-1.
11

17

23

18.3

19.7

19.3

.502

.522

14.7%

11.2%

25.9%

3.6%

-15.4%

How many hits does it take to win a David Price start? If you guessed eight, you win a pair of Big Shoe Company’s combination pooper scooper/jogging shoes!
12

19

19

18.4

19.4

19.1

.520

.540

32.9%

15.0%

47.9%

-4.5%

-0.2%

David Ortiz was 4-for-4 with two homers before striking out in the eighth inning. “BOO!” someone somewhere yelled. “Win the World Series, you idiot!”
13

13

25

18.4

18.3

17.9

.451

.431

0.6%

0.6%

1.2%

-0.2%

-0.2%

The Cubs lost last night’s game on a walk-off hit-by-pitch so now all they need is losing on a messed up hidden ball trick and they’ll have the whole set.
14

19

19

18.9

16.3

16.6

.464

.445

5.1%

5.6%

10.7%

4.4%

0.9%

You could say Stephen Drew would be better than Ruben Tejada but how many hits does Drew have this year?
15

20

19

19.0

19.9

20.2

.531

.511

47.1%

18.9%

66.0%

-3.4%

-6.2%

You could call Stephen Strasburg a hard luck loser but that wouldn’t be very nice.
16

19

22

19.4

18.2

18.4

.457

.477

2.1%

4.7%

6.8%

-0.7%

-8.0%

Baseball: Scott Carroll lost for you guys. White Sox Fans: Right, right. [Note to self: find out who in the heck Scott Carroll is] Baseball: What? White Sox fans: Oh, nothing.
17

19

19

19.5

18.4

18.2

.490

.510

6.1%

14.1%

20.1%

3.0%

5.2%

“Are you putting on weight?” Ned Yost asked. “I am most certainly not!” And with that Mike Moustakas entered the game as defensive replacement.
18

17

20

19.6

20.1

20.0

.511

.491

12.8%

7.7%

20.5%

-4.2%

-4.0%

Aroldis Chapman gave up his 14th career home run and oddly they’ve all come on the special pitch he calls The Underhanded Meatball.
19

20

19

20.3

18.6

19.4

.501

.521

9.9%

21.8%

31.7%

-2.4%

-4.5%

On one hand Fernando Rodney blew the game, but on the other hand Mariners fans didn’t have to watch him do his stupid arrow shooting routine so call it a wash.
20

20

20

20.5

20.4

20.1

.520

.500

33.4%

15.2%

48.6%

3.6%

-1.5%

Eight different players hit sixth for the Cardinals last night, though only three actually hit because the National League is a horrible abomination.
21

22

16

20.6

22.5

22.0

.542

.522

41.2%

16.8%

58.0%

4.8%

12.5%

How slow is Evan Gattis? He hit his first career triple last night but PECOTA still projects him to finish the year with zero.
22

20

20

20.9

21.6

21.9

.471

.451

2.1%

2.7%

4.9%

-5.5%

-6.3%

If, like the Dodgers, the Marlins had kept Josh Beckett, Hanley Ramirez, and Adrian Gonzalez, they’d be in first… [checks standings] never mind.
23

25

14

21.4

21.2

20.4

.528

.508

48.0%

14.1%

62.1%

3.6%

3.6%

Adam Dunn was out today so Mark Reynolds will be your substitute. Last night Reynolds struck out but didn’t homer or walk. He’s a crappy substitute. #BringBackDunn
24

20

20

21.6

20.3

19.5

.507

.527

14.7%

10.9%

25.6%

1.9%

2.1%

The Blue Jays are sixth in walks but second-to-last in intentional walks, which is weird considering they’re eighth in hits but tied for last in intentional hits.
25

20

18

21.9

23.7

23.3

.562

.582

31.4%

33.0%

64.4%

5.3%

10.0%

Mike Trout returned home to Philly and got a standing ovation for a full 20 seconds before fans returned to throwing batteries, punching inanimate objects, and vomiting on each other.
26

22

19

22.0

22.1

21.9

.571

.551

52.6%

32.5%

85.2%

2.3%

-2.5%

A $200+ million team with a roster spot open for Chone Figgins, the Dodgers are the Bob Cratchit of baseball teams.
27

23

12

22.1

22.0

21.3

.591

.610

84.3%

6.0%

90.3%

0.8%

-0.5%

Miguel Cabrera can crush a ball and can crush at balling.
28

25

15

22.7

21.7

22.0

.554

.534

38.0%

42.1%

80.1%

-0.5%

3.5%

The Giants have a pitcher named David Huff who we all know is really Aubrey Huff in glasses. The 5.29 career ERA gives it away.
29

23

18

25.4

25.4

24.0

.543

.523

7.9%

24.8%

32.7%

-4.6%

2.1%

The Rockies lead baseball in balks but coming set is so much more difficult at altitude.
30

25

15

27.8

28.5

27.9

.601

.620

51.5%

27.6%

79.1%

3.7%

22.5%

Brandon Moss hit two homers, meaning if you multiplied the number of runs the White Sox scored last night by a million, Moss would still have two more runs because math doesn’t work like that.