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Prospectus Hit List for April 11



by Matthew Kory

Hit List for April 9 Hit List for April 14
Hit List updates are published Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, starting April 2, 2014. Data presented here is based on games through the day prior to publication.
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

It's Friday, Friday, gotta make puns on Friday.

Rk TmWLW1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff%1-Day7-Day
1

4

5

4.6

4.0

4.0

.501

.521

31.2%

22.9%

54.1%

-0.3%

3.2%

Josh Hamilton will be out about eight weeks after thumb surgery, so if nobody better presents himself, they should consider replacing him with Hole In Lineup. They've done worse before, and spent more on it.
2

4

8

4.1

4.3

4.5

.416

.397

1.9%

8.7%

10.6%

2.3%

-0.3%

How tough a time is the Arizona pitching staff having? The cover of their monthly magazine features the Dodgers.
3

5

4

4.7

6.0

6.2

.555

.535

19.2%

21.0%

40.2%

-0.3%

-0.5%

Complaining about B.J. Upton’s lack of walks is like complaining that your knee is scraped after you fell down an abandoned mine shaft.
4

4

5

4.4

3.3

3.4

.450

.470

5.7%

8.5%

14.2%

1.8%

1.4%

In later years it will be revealed that Nelson Cruz played his entire career with contact lenses that had little pictures of bumper cars in them.
5

4

6

4.4

4.6

4.6

.493

.513

25.3%

23.0%

48.3%

0.0%

-14.2%

Ten games into the season and the biggest health-related concern for Grady Sizemore is if his eyes will pop out due to an overly intense stare from the dugout.
6

5

5

5.5

5.8

5.9

.514

.534

11.2%

8.6%

19.8%

5.5%

2.5%

Jose Abreu has four homers, two each in two separate games. [makes mountain of mashed potatoes with fork] This means something!
7

3

6

4.1

4.4

4.5

.449

.429

2.1%

3.1%

5.2%

-0.3%

-3.1%

The Cubs’ second pitcher last night was Brian Schlitter who gave up three runs in two-thirds of an inning, putting his team firmly in the Schlitter.
8

3

6

4.0

5.2

4.8

.488

.468

12.4%

11.9%

24.3%

1.4%

-7.2%

On Wednesday, Billy Hamilton tagged up and scored on a pop up to deep second base. He also stole two bases on Yadier Molina, one without a throw. No joke here, just genuine amazement.
9

5

5

4.6

4.1

4.0

.462

.482

13.7%

9.1%

22.8%

-1.3%

-4.4%

Carlos Santana at third base update: the .125 hitting Mike Aviles played third on Wednesday while Santana played DH. No errors for Santana though!
10

5

5

5.2

5.9

5.7

.515

.495

4.6%

13.2%

17.7%

1.7%

3.1%

The Rockies have two of 12 remaining .400-hitting players, are first in team batting average, and second in runs scored. Evidence that the ridiculousness of a batting average is highly correlated with run scored.
11

5

2

4.3

4.5

4.5

.591

.610

58.2%

11.0%

69.2%

-0.3%

3.5%

AHHHHH What? Whew! The Tigers just had this crazy dream they gave Miguel Cabrera $300 million ha ha that’s ridiculous do you have any warm milk?
12

4

6

2.9

3.0

2.8

.364

.383

0.4%

0.7%

1.1%

0.3%

-0.6%

The Astros have given up 25 runs, tied for fourth-least in baseball which is pretty good wait that’s just their bullpen never mind.
13

4

4

4.3

4.6

5.0

.523

.542

14.5%

9.9%

24.4%

0.1%

5.1%

The Royals finally hit their first home run, the last team to do so. That was two days ago so they have to ask, would it kill you to send a card?
14

6

4

5.2

5.9

5.7

.579

.559

63.5%

21.8%

85.3%

1.0%

-4.4%

They’re 6-4, but just imagine where the Dodgers would be if Yasiel Puig hadn’t already cost them 12 games (one loss per minute late).
15

5

5

5.7

5.9

6.2

.501

.481

1.6%

2.8%

4.4%

-1.0%

-0.6%

Last night every Marlin in the starting lineup struck out at least once, with six striking out twice or more. Striking out a lot and then losing sounds like a typical night out in Miami for me too.
16

7

2

6.9

7.0

7.0

.634

.615

25.0%

18.6%

43.6%

1.1%

17.1%

Carlos Gomez is hitting .390/.432/.732. There really was a time when every great hitter was terrible with the Twins, wasn’t there?
17

3

6

3.4

3.2

3.4

.403

.422

2.4%

2.2%

4.5%

-1.2%

-2.2%

Twins starting pitching is the baseball equivalent of the medieval medical technique of bleeding. It was supposed to help you, but really it just made you die quicker.
18

5

5

4.2

4.8

4.4

.490

.510

17.7%

18.7%

36.4%

4.1%

3.7%

The strange substance on Michael Pineda’s hand during last night’s game was pine duh.
19

4

5

4.0

2.8

3.0

.424

.404

4.5%

6.4%

10.9%

1.1%

1.7%

Listen, Mets, I work hard to make this list interesting and funny, and I depend on you for a little help, so if you could possibly lose hilariously every alternate Thursday, I’d appreciate it.
20

6

3

6.4

6.3

6.3

.608

.627

34.4%

20.5%

54.9%

3.6%

10.4%

If the A’s did move to Portland, Oregon the chances their ballpark contained copious free-flowing sewage would be lessened because they wouldn’t have a ballpark.
21

3

6

3.5

3.6

3.7

.428

.409

5.1%

6.9%

12.1%

-3.3%

-4.4%

Try the new board game, Ben Revere: Home Run Hitter. You are Ben Revere. Roll two six-sided dice to see if you homered. If you get two sevens, you homered!
22

6

3

5.3

5.0

4.9

.540

.520

15.0%

13.4%

28.4%

3.1%

6.9%

Pedro Alvarez has eight hits in 35 at-bats. Five of them are home runs. Yesterday his wife kissed him goodbye and he was like, nah, don’t bother.
23

3

6

2.5

3.3

3.3

.420

.400

4.5%

13.7%

18.2%

0.0%

-6.6%

The Padres have led for a total of 10 1/3 innings this season so, no, it doesn’t just feel like it.
24

5

3

5.8

5.7

5.6

.594

.613

18.4%

17.5%

35.9%

-2.8%

-0.9%

The Mariners are 1-2 when Charlie Furbush pitches because baseball is hard enough without laughing.
25

6

4

5.9

5.0

4.8

.542

.522

25.6%

32.5%

58.2%

-7.4%

0.2%

Tim Lincecum’s last start was solid in the sense that it was not a liquid.
26

5

4

3.9

3.1

3.3

.484

.464

45.5%

14.6%

60.1%

-1.3%

-3.4%

The Cardinals are the spider on my ceiling. They’re just waiting to drop onto my head and cause me to scream and trip over the coffee table… baseball!
27

5

5

5.9

6.1

6.1

.568

.587

39.8%

20.3%

60.1%

-4.3%

-3.6%

Hopefully Matt Moore’s impending Tommy John surgery has showed the Rays the folly of attempting to employ alliteratively named pitchers.
28

4

5

3.5

3.3

3.1

.445

.465

15.6%

13.9%

29.4%

-0.2%

-3.0%

If you counted, I’m guessing the sheer number of Yu/you jokes would make Yu/you sick.
29

5

5

4.5

4.3

4.2

.479

.499

11.5%

13.3%

24.7%

-5.0%

-0.7%

This season R.A. Dickey’s performances have bounced all over the place. It’s like even he doesn’t know what will happen.
30

7

2

6.8

5.8

6.0

.630

.611

69.5%

11.3%

80.9%

1.9%

1.5%

Stephen Strasburg struck out 12 Marlins in 6 2/3 innings and still managed to finish fourth on his team in K/9 for the day.

Matthew Kory is an author of Baseball Prospectus. 
Click here to see Matthew's other articles. You can contact Matthew by clicking here


8 comments have been left for this article.
wma1963

Would Charlie Brazilian be more or less funny than Charlie Furbush?

Apr 11, 2014 09:33 AM
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+6

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kmbart

Yes, Matthew - would you care to wax philosophic on that topic?

Apr 11, 2014 10:02 AM
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+11

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BP staff member Matt Kory

Less funny. Matthew has spoken.

Apr 11, 2014 21:33 PM
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0

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DetroitDale

there's a "Bush League" joke in there somewhere but I can't quite put it together

Apr 11, 2014 13:57 PM
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0

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Ogremace

Bringing Brandon League into it now? That's ambitious...

Apr 11, 2014 15:19 PM
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0

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LorenA19

Why are the Cardinals ranked so low? These "rankings" don't make any sense.

Apr 12, 2014 13:21 PM
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0

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LorenA19

Well, I should say the skinny for each team usually makes sense -- and is often funny. But the ranking of the teams is ridiculous.

Apr 12, 2014 13:25 PM
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-1

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kokom0j

Linsecum's last start sure as hell wasn't a gas, either.

Apr 13, 2014 20:57 PM
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0

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