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Prospectus Hit List for September 26



by Matthew Kory

Hit List for September 25 Hit List for September 27
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

The very last Thursday Hit List of the season :(

RkTmWLW1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div% Win WC%Playoff%1-Day7-Day
1

90

69

93.0

93.6

93.7

.582

.563

0.0%

100.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.7%

Aroldis Chapman threw 21 pitches and didn't break 100 mph, but he did break my heart.
2

91

68

85.1

87.7

88.8

.554

.535

0.2%

99.8%

100.0%

0.0%

0.3%

Are the Pirates for real? If you see one passing on the street, poke him in the eye and find out!
3

89

69

85.0

93.7

93.9

.572

.592

0.0%

96.8%

96.8%

1.5%

18.2%

Future Yankee David Price beat the Yankees for the Future Yankees who eliminated the Yankees from the playoffs. "I feel sad/elated, " said Price.
4

88

70

86.3

83.9

83.8

.541

.561

0.0%

66.2%

66.2%

1.2%

23.8%

It's amazing how good a team can look when its opponents are a combined 172-296, three apples tall and obsessed with German house cats.
5

87

71

88.5

87.4

86.8

.553

.573

0.0%

37.0%

37.0%

-2.7%

-20.3%

if the Rangers pull this one out, Ron Washington should be up for Manager of the Year. At Arby's.
6

94

65

97.9

91.1

90.8

.588

.568

99.8%

0.2%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

In his last six starts Shelby Miller has 18 strikeouts and 16 walks. So lock in those interest rates while you can, America!
7

94

65

93.4

93.0

90.9

.584

.603

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Other than catching the Red Sox for home field advantage, Oakland's best shot to avoid playing the Tigers is to dress up like the Tigers and then accuse the Tigers of being fakes.
8

72

86

65.3

65.2

66.6

.426

.406

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Other than their record against Miami, the Phillies would absolutely still have missed the playoffs.
9

82

76

76.4

68.6

70.6

.471

.491

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-3.4%

The Yankees are eliminated. LeBron will be so upset. Lucky the Cowboys are doing well.
10

73

85

72.3

69.9

69.1

.450

.430

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

A pitcher for the Mets went seven innings, gave up four hits, two walks, struck out six, and threw 65 percent strikes and you guess who. I'll give you a bajillion guesses then I'll tell you it was Daisuke Matsuzaka then I'll duck while you try to punch me.
11

93

65

93.8

92.0

88.4

.581

.561

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

After Carlos Gomez spent too long watching his home run, all the Braves put on black robes and white powdered wigs, climbed onto foot stools, and shook their fingers at him.
12

74

84

69.6

70.1

70.7

.450

.430

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Padres scored 12 runs last night, the fourth time they've done so this season. Those runs make up more than 8 percent of the total runs they've scored this season.
13

70

89

66.8

72.0

72.0

.441

.461

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Mike Zunino homered last night. So show me one stat that says he belongs back in the minor oh every other stat okay never mind.
14

73

85

72.0

76.4

77.2

.472

.453

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Thus endeth the Barry Zito Era in San Francisco. Can the Giants give Jake Peavy $200 million? No? How about Roy Halladay?
15

72

86

73.8

71.6

73.5

.460

.480

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Remember how Esmil Rogers is terrible? You and the Blue Jays are twins!
16

66

92

62.1

66.2

66.8

.413

.433

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Twins should start setting their lineup so the first letter in the hitters’ last names spell out naughty words.
17

71

87

73.2

76.1

78.3

.473

.453

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Kyle Lohse threw a complete game two-hitter that knocked the Braves a half-game out for the best record in the National League, which is exactly why the Brewers gave him $33 million.
18

62

96

66.0

65.3

65.4

.409

.429

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The White Sox are well positioned, like at the bottom of a well.
19

96

63

98.7

97.8

96.8

.612

.631

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

With the division now locked up, the only thing left is to see who gets voted off the team. John MacDonald, you are the weakest link!
20

80

78

78.6

76.5

76.2

.493

.473

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

NEED MORE GRIT
21

78

80

79.6

80.8

79.8

.503

.523

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

If the Angels run the table they'll have some bruising because it's a big table.
22

91

67

85.9

91.1

88.7

.564

.544

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Dodgers have two regulars with an OPS over .800. Remind me again how they went 400-of-50 in the middle of this season? (That’s a rhetorical question. Though if you want to remind me, the my next Hit List runs this coming April.)
23

51

108

56.0

51.2

54.4

.334

.352

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

After this season you'd better hope the Astros don't mess up the first overall pick... "With the first overall pick, the Houston Astros select, Bryan Bullington!"
24

93

66

97.7

104.8

103.3

.627

.646

100.0%

0.0%

100.0%

0.0%

0.0%

Last night Max Scherzer struck out 10 Twins or 7.3 regular hitters.
25

59

100

63.1

60.3

60.9

.382

.364

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

According to an edict handed down from On High (Jeffrey Loria’s yacht), all employees must refrain from talking about the Marlins. In other words, the first rule of Marlins employment is don’t talk about Marlins employment.
26

83

75

83.5

76.6

77.3

.507

.527

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.0%

-4.4%

The Royals were eliminated from the playoffs, sending an enraged George Brett thundering onto the field in protest.
27

72

87

74.9

74.7

71.7

.461

.441

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

In a moving ceremony the Rockies gave Todd Helton a horse and then proceeded to tell the crowd about the horse's breed for two full minutes. “Thanks, Todd! Horsey-horse horse horse horsey-horsey horse horse horse horsey-horse horse...”
28

66

93

71.3

74.7

75.5

.452

.432

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Cubs are now eliminated from playoff contention in 2014 and 2015. "We're disappointed," said President Theo Epstein, "But we're going to put our heads together and worry about 2016."
29

82

76

83.4

80.4

81.5

.518

.538

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-13.8%

With the Orioles having broken Buck Showalter's well-known Always Finish In First Place rule, I know some players who will go to bed without their suppers.
30

84

75

82.4

83.1

81.2

.520

.500

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-1.0%

It's becoming appropriate any time the Nationals lose to St. Louis.