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Prospectus Hit List for April 18



by Matthew Kory

Hit List for April 17 Hit List for April 19
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

An extremely, extremely important fact about Ryan Braun and the Brewers.

RkTmWL W1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff%1-Day7-Day
1

12

2

11.6

11.7

11.2

.672

.654

47.4%

23.5%

70.9%

-0.4%

12.6%

Some may see Justin Upton’s .900 slugging percentage as a shot at Arizona, the team that traded him this offseason. To Upton though, he’s just doing his job, which is to take shots at Arizona, the team that traded him this offseason.
2

12

4

11.1

10.4

9.9

.594

.613

29.4%

24.0%

53.5%

0.7%

7.1%

The A’s beat the Astros in what the experts are calling the world’s first “reverse reverse jinx”
3

10

4

10.3

9.4

9.2

.611

.630

30.4%

29.8%

60.2%

2.6%

16.7%

Will Middlebrooks is hitting if you mean hitting in the sense that he is standing at the plate with a bat while the pitcher throws pitches to him. If you mean hitting in the sense where he gets hits, then no.
4

9

5

9.6

10.1

10.4

.634

.652

80.5%

7.5%

88.0%

1.0%

9.9%

Austin Jackson has discovered what centuries of Spanish explorers could not: the elusive Fountain of BABIP. It’s a 360-degree fountain and when Jackson stood next to it and tried to catch a drop in his hands but could not, he knew he had been gifted with special powers.
5

8

6

9.5

6.5

6.6

.526

.506

21.5%

13.3%

34.8%

-4.3%

1.9%

Shelby Miller’s start was ruined by him not being A.J. Burnett. But that’s okay, not being A.J. Burnett is more like a 24-hour cold than any kind of long-term illness. Unless you are A.J. Burnett in which case it’s incurable.
6

8

7

9.3

9.8

9.2

.580

.560

56.3%

15.4%

71.7%

8.7%

-1.9%

It has been noted elsewhere, but it's worth noting here in a slightly different way: Joey Votto much walky-walky!
7

10

4

8.7

9.3

8.4

.543

.524

3.5%

7.9%

11.4%

0.7%

6.6%

The highest scoring team in the National League, the Rockies have scored 37 runs at home and 45 on the road. Legit, right? They’ve played nine games on the road and five at home. Womp womp wooooomp
8

9

5

8.5

9.4

8.5

.592

.612

52.2%

19.4%

71.7%

0.2%

4.7%

The Rangers have scored 53 runs, 43 fewer than Oakland. This has to be an overly elaborate, long-term flash mob that both teams are in on.
9

8

6

8.5

8.3

8.1

.556

.536

20.8%

27.5%

48.2%

-0.8%

-1.9%

Did you ever read Peanuts where Lucy would hold the football for Charlie Brown and he'd try to kick it and then at the last second, right before he could kick it, Kevin Towers would trade him to Atlanta where he'd hit eight homers in the first 14 games? That cartoon was weird.
10

7

6

8.2

7.8

7.6

.540

.520

9.3%

13.9%

23.2%

0.1%

-0.6%

Matt Harvey didn't pitch so next comment please.
11

8

5

8.1

7.6

8.2

.590

.609

51.3%

22.2%

73.5%

2.5%

9.1%

Vernon Wells (.295/.380/.591) has been named the winner of the American Cynic Association’s “We [expletive] Knew It” award.
12

8

6

8.1

7.1

7.2

.508

.528

6.2%

12.2%

18.4%

2.0%

-2.3%

Even though this is being written before Wednesday’s game, the Royals are 8-6 which means by the time you read this the Royals will still have a winning record. Right? They can’t screw that up, can they?
13

9

6

7.9

8.0

8.2

.536

.516

21.8%

21.9%

43.6%

-1.8%

-0.9%

Marco Scutaro perfectly illustrates the importance of lineup protection as he’s hitting in front of Pablo Sandoval and Buster Posey, and has taken advantage to the tune of a .621 OPS. What? Oh, well clearly you haven’t played the game.
14

7

8

7.4

7.4

6.8

.475

.495

5.4%

9.2%

14.6%

1.3%

-0.5%

Adam Dunn knows you can’t win the 2014 Comeback Player of the Year without first being the baseball equivalent of a flushing toilet this season. Operation Commode Cleanse activated!
15

7

7

7.2

7.7

7.9

.497

.517

2.1%

5.4%

7.4%

-2.3%

-0.1%

In some small Eastern European countries saying someone gave up two doubles to James Loney is grounds for a duel. So if you see Chris Tillman in the locker room or on the street, best to just look the other way.
16

9

6

6.8

6.7

6.6

.512

.492

35.7%

24.1%

59.8%

3.5%

-4.4%

The Nationals are back on track and since it’s the kind of track where they can beat one of the worst teams in baseball, expect a World Series win any day now.
17

7

7

6.3

5.7

6.0

.469

.449

12.2%

8.4%

20.6%

1.4%

6.4%

Yankees cast-off A.J. Burnett combined with Yankees cast-off Mark Melancon to shut down the Cardinals on one hit. When the plan works *kisses fingers* it makes you kiss your fingers.
18

6

10

6.1

6.1

6.3

.433

.452

2.8%

5.4%

8.3%

-1.3%

-2.9%

The Mariners are 3 1/2 games back of the AL West lead. I write that so Mariners fans can bookmark this page and return to it in a few months to gaze longingly and mutter “I remember when…” under their breath.
19

5

10

6.1

5.1

6.1

.421

.401

1.4%

3.2%

4.7%

1.0%

-0.6%

Chase Headley came back and put up a bunch of ones in his box score so you'd think he homered but he didn't.
20

7

8

5.7

9.2

8.9

.545

.525

52.5%

19.7%

72.2%

-2.7%

-9.7%

Guess which team is leading baseball in dollars per win?
21

6

7

5.5

6.3

6.7

.435

.455

0.3%

0.5%

0.8%

-0.4%

-0.4%

At 3-0 the Twins have the best record in one-run games. At 3-7 the Twins do not have the best record in not-one-run games.
22

4

11

5.4

5.1

5.9

.364

.383

0.0%

0.1%

0.2%

0.0%

0.0%

The Astros are doing their part to alleviate the heat in the Houston area by waiving their bats very quickly in order to help circulate the air for beleaguered residents. Said manager Bo Porter, “We discussed stopping when we get into the batter's box, but we decided, nope, it’s just too hot.”
23

6

9

5.1

5.4

6.0

.437

.418

7.4%

11.0%

18.4%

-6.7%

-4.0%

If you remove the decimal from his innings total, the six runs in 12 innings John Lannan allowed becomes palatable. If you don’t remove the decimal you’ll need the palate of a dead animal to enjoy it. Or you could just be a Mets fan.
24

5

9

5.1

4.5

4.7

.440

.460

9.5%

16.0%

25.5%

0.5%

-12.6%

How to remember Matt Kory’s pre-season predictions? Use this simple rule of thumb. Pull up the standings, then stand on your head. As the blood rushes to your head read the standings from bottom to top. See? The Rays are in first place! Then pass out.
25

4

9

4.9

5.2

5.6

.428

.409

4.0%

4.1%

8.1%

-0.3%

-4.9%

Confucius say fire Dale Sveum! Libra 04 16 87 65 – a fortune cookie
26

5

8

4.8

5.3

5.1

.444

.464

7.6%

12.5%

20.1%

-3.4%

-4.8%

It's a Hit List Quick Quiz! Jason Giambi hit a home run last night. This means: 1) The Indians are raffling off roster spots; 2) someone in the Indians' front office has invented a time machine; 3) Giambi has figured out a way to funnel 10 Five Hour Energy bottles into one at bat. "Where'd he go?" "Just follow the trail of eye blood."
27

6

9

4.8

4.7

5.0

.431

.450

6.8%

12.0%

18.8%

-2.4%

-4.2%

Colby Rasmus is striking out in 40 percent of his plate appearances. Why? Personal challenge. He can do in 60 percent of his plate appearances what a normal hitter couldn’t do with 100 percent. Unless we’re talking about getting a haircut, then all bets are off.
28

4

10

4.4

5.7

5.9

.454

.474

15.5%

23.6%

39.1%

-1.1%

-19.6%

Not only do the Angels share a division with the Astros, but they have a similar record and have scored and given up a similar numbers of runs. Never let it be said the people of Los Angeles aren’t a right neighborly bunch.
29

5

8

4.3

4.8

5.0

.423

.404

6.1%

5.6%

11.7%

1.3%

1.9%

After last night, the Brewers are 1-0 when Ryan Braun walks three times, but 0-1 when he walks twice, but 2-1 when he walks once, but 2-3 when he doesn't walk at all. Odd numbers!
30

3

12

3.5

2.8

3.1

.317

.300

0.1%

0.5%

0.6%

0.2%

-0.4%

It would make sense if the Marlins had the fewest extra-base hits and the most groundball outs in baseball. It makes sense.