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Prospectus Hit List for April 10



by Matt Sussman

Hit List for April 9 Hit List for April 11
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

Rangers at the top! Marlins at the bottom!

RkTmWLW1 W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff%1-Day7-Day
1

2

5

1.6

1.6

2.0

.364

.346

2.0%

5.6%

7.6%

1.6%

-3.1%

Jedd Gyorko is not only their top offensive player right now, but he's an anagram for "Dodgy Joker." I'd keep my eye on him, and watch out for whoopee cushions.
2

3

5

3.3

1.8

1.9

.400

.381

7.7%

8.6%

16.3%

2.3%

-4.6%

And with a massive 11 hits, this brings their collective average to ... well, actually it's still bad.
3

2

5

2.0

1.8

1.8

.394

.413

9.0%

11.9%

20.9%

-2.2%

-6.0%

Perhaps to turn around their losing ways, this team should consider trading for a collection of high-paid star players.
4

3

5

2.6

2.0

2.2

.423

.443

16.9%

19.1%

36.0%

-3.1%

-8.6%

You can change his name to Roberto Hernandez in the database all you want. His name will always be Fausto World Peace to me.
5

2

6

2.6

2.1

2.8

.342

.360

0.0%

0.2%

0.2%

0.1%

-0.1%

Jose Altuve almost had himself a cycle, but it turns out he came up a little short.
6

1

7

1.9

2.2

2.5

.332

.314

0.5%

0.9%

1.4%

-0.4%

-0.5%

Eight games in, they have scored more than three runs exactly once.
7

2

6

2.4

2.5

2.7

.393

.374

4.2%

5.9%

10.0%

-3.3%

-5.8%

Know who they should get to be their closer? John Axford from 2011. Everybody hop into my time machine. You'll need these pills.
8

3

5

3.0

2.7

2.7

.416

.397

5.0%

5.9%

10.8%

0.7%

-8.2%

Your team slugging leader is Nate Schierholtz. Let's see if anyone notices.
9

3

5

2.6

2.9

3.1

.430

.410

9.9%

12.3%

22.2%

0.2%

-6.3%

Michael Young was a double short of a cycle, depriving the entire world of "CYCLE YOUNG" headlines.
10

4

4

4.7

2.9

3.2

.484

.464

16.6%

16.0%

32.6%

4.5%

0.5%

Congratulations to the St. Louisville Cardinals on their basketball championship. Didn't even know they liked the sport.
11

5

2

2.9

3.2

3.2

.523

.503

43.3%

21.7%

65.0%

2.9%

2.7%

Cross the White Sox off the list among teams Adam LaRoche hasn't homered against. We're down to Oakland, Seattle and Kansas City — only the latter of which is on their schedule this year. Or just request a trade to Texas.
12

3

5

2.8

3.4

3.0

.439

.459

12.5%

10.7%

23.2%

-5.4%

-7.9%

How awful would that drummer fan feel if it turns out he was the reason nobody showed up to games?
13

4

5

3.8

3.8

3.7

.454

.474

4.1%

9.6%

13.7%

-3.7%

-9.0%

Hopefully before moving in their fences they tested their ballpark on claustrophobiacs.
14

4

3

3.7

3.9

3.7

.510

.530

9.3%

7.4%

16.6%

-1.8%

-1.6%

Paul Konerko now trails Jim Thome by six home runs on the career interleague list. It's a list that haunts purists and also contains a naughty limerick.
15

2

5

3.0

3.9

4.3

.516

.536

32.1%

29.1%

61.2%

-2.6%

-7.7%

Please don't hurl insults at the outfield because Mike Trout will catch everything you throw in his area.
16

4

3

3.6

4.2

4.3

.569

.589

68.9%

10.0%

78.9%

2.8%

-0.1%

They're one of two teams yet to commit an error, although technically Miguel Cabrera was given one and had it reversed later in the week. Still: metrics!
17

4

4

4.8

4.2

4.5

.555

.574

44.7%

18.5%

63.2%

4.0%

3.3%

Among those who hit homers for them last night: Robinson Cano, Lyle Overbay, Ichiro Suzuki, Brennan Boesch, and Kevin Youkilis. Now to go down to the hospital and share this information with people who just woke up from year-long comas.
18

5

3

5.3

4.4

4.4

.533

.553

8.5%

9.5%

18.0%

0.9%

5.0%

They have more triples (3) than home runs (2), because the year is 1928 and talkies are all the rage.
19

4

4

3.8

4.4

4.6

.463

.483

0.8%

0.9%

1.7%

-0.2%

0.6%

Eduardo Escobar for cleanup hitter. Who says no?
20

5

3

3.2

4.4

4.6

.528

.508

19.2%

24.6%

43.8%

5.0%

0.8%

Looking forward to this "Face/Off" sequel starring Tim Lincecum and Barry Zito.
21

3

4

4.0

4.6

4.6

.520

.540

1.9%

3.7%

5.6%

1.1%

-2.8%

Their designated hitters are hitting a combined .045 on the season. Perhaps try a using pool noodle, or put "what is a curveball" into Google.
22

5

2

5.4

4.8

4.7

.618

.637

27.5%

21.4%

48.9%

2.4%

9.4%

On their off day, Andrew Miller won second place in a Johnny Damon lookalike contest. He would've won first but his arm was too strong.
23

5

3

4.7

5.1

4.7

.565

.546

18.5%

26.0%

44.5%

-4.2%

5.6%

Hold up a picture of their bullpen and it looks pretty good, assuming your thumb is covering Heath Bell.
24

5

3

5.4

5.2

4.7

.563

.544

13.0%

14.7%

27.7%

-5.1%

-2.8%

Mets catchers hit five home runs last year, and John Buck is at four. So who REALLY won the R.A. Dickey trade?
25

5

3

5.5

5.5

4.8

.545

.525

1.7%

4.9%

6.6%

-1.9%

1.8%

The secret to Todd Helton's lengthy career? He ages only when Rafael Betancourt finally throws his pitch.
26

7

1

6.1

5.5

5.2

.629

.610

33.3%

21.9%

55.2%

4.6%

13.7%

If they can throw rookie catcher Evan Gattis into the cleanup spot and make it work, then I can break this block of cement using my head!
27

6

2

5.9

5.6

5.2

.610

.629

17.3%

23.3%

40.6%

4.4%

13.2%

Coco Crisp steals bases with such ease I'm starting to think it's an inside job.
28

5

3

6.0

5.7

5.7

.631

.612

66.6%

12.3%

78.9%

-3.6%

3.6%

Joey Votto leads the league in walks (11 in 40 plate appearances) but still has yet to homer.
29

4

3

3.6

5.7

5.5

.622

.603

58.6%

18.8%

77.4%

-3.3%

2.6%

Juan Uribe's still got it. By "it" I mean an eight-track.
30

6

2

5.3

6.1

6.0

.641

.659

46.5%

24.7%

71.1%

3.4%

12.2%

Superstitious fans should just boo Josh Hamilton every night, even if he's not there.