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Prospectus Hit List for April 10



by Matt Sussman

Hit List for April 9 Hit List for April 11
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

Rangers at the top! Marlins at the bottom!

RkTmWLW1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff% 1-Day7-Day
1

3

5

2.8

3.4

3.0

.439

.459

12.5%

10.7%

23.2%

-5.4%

-7.9%

How awful would that drummer fan feel if it turns out he was the reason nobody showed up to games?
2

5

3

5.4

5.2

4.7

.563

.544

13.0%

14.7%

27.7%

-5.1%

-2.8%

Mets catchers hit five home runs last year, and John Buck is at four. So who REALLY won the R.A. Dickey trade?
3

5

3

4.7

5.1

4.7

.565

.546

18.5%

26.0%

44.5%

-4.2%

5.6%

Hold up a picture of their bullpen and it looks pretty good, assuming your thumb is covering Heath Bell.
4

4

5

3.8

3.8

3.7

.454

.474

4.1%

9.6%

13.7%

-3.7%

-9.0%

Hopefully before moving in their fences they tested their ballpark on claustrophobiacs.
5

5

3

6.0

5.7

5.7

.631

.612

66.6%

12.3%

78.9%

-3.6%

3.6%

Joey Votto leads the league in walks (11 in 40 plate appearances) but still has yet to homer.
6

2

6

2.4

2.5

2.7

.393

.374

4.2%

5.9%

10.0%

-3.3%

-5.8%

Know who they should get to be their closer? John Axford from 2011. Everybody hop into my time machine. You'll need these pills.
7

4

3

3.6

5.7

5.5

.622

.603

58.6%

18.8%

77.4%

-3.3%

2.6%

Juan Uribe's still got it. By "it" I mean an eight-track.
8

3

5

2.6

2.0

2.2

.423

.443

16.9%

19.1%

36.0%

-3.1%

-8.6%

You can change his name to Roberto Hernandez in the database all you want. His name will always be Fausto World Peace to me.
9

2

5

3.0

3.9

4.3

.516

.536

32.1%

29.1%

61.2%

-2.6%

-7.7%

Please don't hurl insults at the outfield because Mike Trout will catch everything you throw in his area.
10

2

5

2.0

1.8

1.8

.394

.413

9.0%

11.9%

20.9%

-2.2%

-6.0%

Perhaps to turn around their losing ways, this team should consider trading for a collection of high-paid star players.
11

5

3

5.5

5.5

4.8

.545

.525

1.7%

4.9%

6.6%

-1.9%

1.8%

The secret to Todd Helton's lengthy career? He ages only when Rafael Betancourt finally throws his pitch.
12

4

3

3.7

3.9

3.7

.510

.530

9.3%

7.4%

16.6%

-1.8%

-1.6%

Paul Konerko now trails Jim Thome by six home runs on the career interleague list. It's a list that haunts purists and also contains a naughty limerick.
13

1

7

1.9

2.2

2.5

.332

.314

0.5%

0.9%

1.4%

-0.4%

-0.5%

Eight games in, they have scored more than three runs exactly once.
14

4

4

3.8

4.4

4.6

.463

.483

0.8%

0.9%

1.7%

-0.2%

0.6%

Eduardo Escobar for cleanup hitter. Who says no?
15

2

6

2.6

2.1

2.8

.342

.360

0.0%

0.2%

0.2%

0.1%

-0.1%

Jose Altuve almost had himself a cycle, but it turns out he came up a little short.
16

3

5

2.6

2.9

3.1

.430

.410

9.9%

12.3%

22.2%

0.2%

-6.3%

Michael Young was a double short of a cycle, depriving the entire world of "CYCLE YOUNG" headlines.
17

3

5

3.0

2.7

2.7

.416

.397

5.0%

5.9%

10.8%

0.7%

-8.2%

Your team slugging leader is Nate Schierholtz. Let's see if anyone notices.
18

5

3

5.3

4.4

4.4

.533

.553

8.5%

9.5%

18.0%

0.9%

5.0%

They have more triples (3) than home runs (2), because the year is 1928 and talkies are all the rage.
19

3

4

4.0

4.6

4.6

.520

.540

1.9%

3.7%

5.6%

1.1%

-2.8%

Their designated hitters are hitting a combined .045 on the season. Perhaps try a using pool noodle, or put "what is a curveball" into Google.
20

2

5

1.6

1.6

2.0

.364

.346

2.0%

5.6%

7.6%

1.6%

-3.1%

Jedd Gyorko is not only their top offensive player right now, but he's an anagram for "Dodgy Joker." I'd keep my eye on him, and watch out for whoopee cushions.
21

3

5

3.3

1.8

1.9

.400

.381

7.7%

8.6%

16.3%

2.3%

-4.6%

And with a massive 11 hits, this brings their collective average to ... well, actually it's still bad.
22

5

2

5.4

4.8

4.7

.618

.637

27.5%

21.4%

48.9%

2.4%

9.4%

On their off day, Andrew Miller won second place in a Johnny Damon lookalike contest. He would've won first but his arm was too strong.
23

4

3

3.6

4.2

4.3

.569

.589

68.9%

10.0%

78.9%

2.8%

-0.1%

They're one of two teams yet to commit an error, although technically Miguel Cabrera was given one and had it reversed later in the week. Still: metrics!
24

5

2

2.9

3.2

3.2

.523

.503

43.3%

21.7%

65.0%

2.9%

2.7%

Cross the White Sox off the list among teams Adam LaRoche hasn't homered against. We're down to Oakland, Seattle and Kansas City — only the latter of which is on their schedule this year. Or just request a trade to Texas.
25

6

2

5.3

6.1

6.0

.641

.659

46.5%

24.7%

71.1%

3.4%

12.2%

Superstitious fans should just boo Josh Hamilton every night, even if he's not there.
26

4

4

4.8

4.2

4.5

.555

.574

44.7%

18.5%

63.2%

4.0%

3.3%

Among those who hit homers for them last night: Robinson Cano, Lyle Overbay, Ichiro Suzuki, Brennan Boesch, and Kevin Youkilis. Now to go down to the hospital and share this information with people who just woke up from year-long comas.
27

6

2

5.9

5.6

5.2

.610

.629

17.3%

23.3%

40.6%

4.4%

13.2%

Coco Crisp steals bases with such ease I'm starting to think it's an inside job.
28

4

4

4.7

2.9

3.2

.484

.464

16.6%

16.0%

32.6%

4.5%

0.5%

Congratulations to the St. Louisville Cardinals on their basketball championship. Didn't even know they liked the sport.
29

7

1

6.1

5.5

5.2

.629

.610

33.3%

21.9%

55.2%

4.6%

13.7%

If they can throw rookie catcher Evan Gattis into the cleanup spot and make it work, then I can break this block of cement using my head!
30

5

3

3.2

4.4

4.6

.528

.508

19.2%

24.6%

43.8%

5.0%

0.8%

Looking forward to this "Face/Off" sequel starring Tim Lincecum and Barry Zito.