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Prospectus Hit List for September 10

by Matthew Kory

Hit List for September 7 Hit List for September 11
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

Rk	Tm	W	L	W1	W2	W3	HLF	AHLF	Win Div%	Win WC%	Playoff%	1-Day	7-Day
1		79	60	78.6	75.6	76.2	.556	.576	6.5%	64.7%	71.2%	8.4%	-9.0%
		The last four A's series have gone like this: swept, got swept, swept, swept.
2		77	63	79.8	80.5	81.9	.570	.589	19.4%	35.2%	54.6%	6.5%	2.0%
		James Shields threw a two-hit shutout. If the Rays have discovered the centuries-old secrets to pitching it would be gentlemanly of them to share them.
3		75	65	79.8	79.9	77.8	.558	.538	0.5%	75.7%	76.2%	6.1%	8.5%
		Carlos Beltran and Matt Holiday: 3-for-8 with two homers.
4		77	63	77.0	79.3	80.8	.561	.581	4.8%	51.2%	56.0%	2.2%	32.2%
		Mike Trout hit his fourth leadoff homer of the year. Why four? He's Mike Trout! You keep your questioning yapper shut!
5		79	61	74.7	73.1	72.2	.534	.514	95.1%	2.1%	97.2%	1.3%	1.7%
		The moon will crash into the stars and then pinball around from star to star leaving a fantastic trail of rainbowed light behind it. Also Barry Zito threw 6 1/3 innings of shutout baseball.
6		79	61	79.6	79.8	80.8	.570	.590	70.7%	16.6%	87.3%	1.3%	-8.5%
		Joba Chamberlain faced six batters and struck out four of them. Though, to be fair, one of them was Mark Reynolds, who struck out while still in the on-deck circle.
7		73	66	73.2	75.5	75.8	.535	.555	37.0%	1.6%	38.6%	1.3%	-28.2%
		The Tigers are closing in on a playoff spot. The problem is their closing speed is reminiscent of a drunken infant.
8		81	60	80.4	79.1	78.8	.566	.546	6.6%	92.6%	99.2%	0.2%	10.2%
		The Braves walked seven times against Mets pitching Sunday, including two in the 10th to help push the eventual winning run to third base. New Yorkers are always so quick to provide help!
9		58	82	60.3	62.3	62.2	.434	.453	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%
		Ya know, when Justin Morneau homers twice and Joe Mauer goes 3-for-5 with two extra-base hits, the Twins aren't all that bad.
10		65	75	65.7	69.0	70.7	.483	.463	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%
		David Wright left five runners on base because A) he's lazy and didn't feel like picking them up, B) his skills have deteriorated over the past day, or C) that's just how the cookie crumbles, son.
11		66	75	65.2	65.9	64.9	.465	.445	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%
		When the Padres wear their camouflaged uniforms, they're record is Yuck-Eww.
12		67	74	68.1	64.5	66.1	.471	.491	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%
		Against Tom Milone and A's pitching, the Mariners struck out 12 times, didn't walk.
13		64	75	65.3	62.1	63.9	.459	.479	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%
		Contrary to popular belief, Omar Vizquel is not, in fact, ageless. He is quite old.
14		86	54	84.0	85.7	84.0	.607	.587	93.4%	6.6%	100.0%	0.0%	0.1%
		The Nationals have officially shut down Stephen Strasburg. Other things the Nationals have shut down: the vending machine in the visitor's clubhouse, the right-field grandstand's janitorial staff, and the Teddy Roosevelt. Turns out he has a strained neck from carrying around that giant head.
15		63	78	60.7	62.5	63.4	.443	.423	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%
		Homer Alert! City of Philadelphia: the Giancarlo Stanton Homer Barrage is coming. FEMA recommends you take potable water and pasteurized processed cheese food and/or pork-flavored snack foods and take cover underground during the hours following 7 p.m.
16		84	57	79.4	77.8	75.3	.561	.541	99.5%	0.5%	100.0%	0.0%	0.0%
		I wouldn't know for sure, but losing to a team that is 11-50 since the start of July must involve a fair bit of self-loathing.
17		54	86	56.7	53.1	53.5	.388	.369	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%
		Normally you'd think, what are these guys doing sweeping the Pirates?! Are they trying to kill their draft position? But it's the Cubs, so you know, yes, of course they are.
18		63	78	68.6	71.0	71.1	.485	.505	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%
		The Red Sox are 1-11 in their last 12 games. At this point, setting them on fire and floating them out to sea like a Viking funeral seems appropriate.
19		59	81	53.3	58.3	59.1	.410	.430	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%
		After last season's sub-.300 OBP and subsequent ban to Triple-A, Matt LaPorta's slash line this season (.161/.212/.161) isn't doing anyone but the opposing pitchers any favors.
20		56	83	60.3	57.0	56.8	.414	.394	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%
		The way Coors Field is playing this year, for the Rockies, coming to Citizens Bank Park in Philly must be like when you first got to college and realized that your life doesn't have to be just like your crazy parents'.
21		44	96	48.9	49.4	49.5	.342	.325	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%
		The Astros are so bad that they're not worthy of me finishing this joke.
22		63	77	64.4	61.3	61.3	.446	.466	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%
		Jeremy Guthrie threw eight innings of six-hit shutout ball. He's magical like a luck dragon.
23		83	57	81.5	85.3	84.3	.597	.616	88.7%	10.9%	99.6%	-0.1%	-0.3%
		I don't want to name any names but it's never good when the starting pitcher gives up as many home runs as innings he pitched. coughROYOSWALTcough
24		69	71	68.7	71.2	71.5	.501	.481	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	-0.3%	-0.1%
		The Phillies have the best stolen-base percentage in the National League. Hooray!
25		69	72	73.2	73.0	72.8	.511	.491	0.4%	0.6%	1.0%	-0.8%	0.3%
		Yes the Diamondbacks have been out-homered by the Pirates this season, but that only places them somewhere after fourth in the National League and in fact, they're fifth.
26		69	71	72.5	72.6	69.7	.507	.487	0.0%	0.0%	0.0%	-0.8%	-0.2%
		Corey Hart hurt his left ankle and then Ryan Braun left an inning later after tweaking a lingering right wrist. That's a lot to pay for a 5-4 loss.
27		74	67	72.6	71.7	71.3	.514	.494	4.5%	16.3%	20.8%	-1.8%	-5.0%
		This time last year the hitters in the Dodgers lineup were in: Oakland, Philadelphia, Boston, Miami, Albuquerque (Isotopes), L.A. (Dodgers), Toronto, L.A. (Dodgers), Philadelphia.
28		72	67	69.8	69.4	67.3	.501	.481	0.0%	5.6%	5.6%	-3.9%	-15.5%
		Going 2-4 in six home games against the two worst teams in baseball is a recipe for: A) cake, B) pie, C) the traditional conclusion to any post-1980 Pittsburgh Pirates season.
29		75	64	75.7	72.4	71.5	.530	.550	63.0%	0.3%	63.3%	-4.4%	8.3%
		Using eight pitchers in a game is one thing, but doing it in a one-run loss is breaking some kind of fan pain-tolerance threshold code.
30		78	62	66.9	65.0	66.8	.494	.514	9.9%	19.5%	29.4%	-15.2%	3.5%
		Shocking though it may be, the team with Nate McClouth leading off and in left field and Wilson Betemit DHing lost to the team with the highest payroll in the major leagues. Hard to see that coming, I know.