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Prospectus Hit List for June 12



by Jason Wojciechowski

Hit List for June 11 Hit List for June 13
Teams are ordered based on Adjusted Hit List Factor, a computer generated number, and the author isn't responsible for the order of the teams.

First in the NL Central, first in our hearts, 25th in our Hit List.

RkTmWLW1W2W3HLFAHLFWin Div%Win WC%Playoff% 1-Day7-Day
1

33

29

33.5

33.5

33.1

.537

.556

12.2%

52.0%

64.2%

10.2%

9.1%

You know the scene at the end of Halloween where Michael Myers sits up in the background even though we think he's dead? The Rangers probably should have burned the Angels' bodies.
2

32

27

31.3

29.5

29.2

.517

.497

36.2%

18.9%

55.1%

6.7%

-7.9%

The Reds being in first place isn't so crazy, but the Reds being in first place with a third of their starting lineup below replacement level might be.
3

29

33

30.9

31.9

31.5

.497

.477

3.9%

9.1%

13.0%

4.3%

-7.9%

Whether a time machine works is not the sole criteria by which to judge it, but you've got to figure that a team this broke-down and old doesn't care as much for aesthetics or obediace to physical laws. They just want to get the hell out of 2012.
4

30

30

30.3

31.9

31.5

.516

.496

14.6%

19.3%

33.9%

2.4%

11.8%

When Willie Bloomquist starts at shortstop, he bats either first or second. In other news, Kirk Gibson is under an extradition request by The Republic of Sabermetria.
5

32

29

27.7

29.9

29.7

.489

.469

9.4%

16.9%

26.4%

2.4%

-29.9%

Why is the phrase "struck out the side in order" when we mean that the pitcher retired all three batters he faced? Can it be done out of order? Heath Bell, with three strikeouts and one walk in one inning last night, struck out the side all jumbled.
6

34

26

29.6

28.9

30.2

.511

.531

4.3%

13.8%

18.1%

2.0%

5.9%

The Orioles lead baseball in number of times I've fallen asleep while writing their comment.
7

35

25

34.6

34.7

34.3

.577

.597

61.8%

25.6%

87.4%

1.6%

12.2%

Being the only hitter not to get a base-knock is not something worth caring about. Being the only hitter to fail to reach base (hi, Russell Martin) makes you a total loser.
8

28

32

27.9

28.1

27.0

.463

.443

16.9%

9.8%

26.8%

1.6%

-3.1%

Having already grabbed him in every fantasy league I can, I now feel comfortable pointing out to you Norichika Aoki's .300/.364/.477 line with five steals in six attempts. For those who prefer real baseball, his maximum salary this year, with bonuses, is $2.675 million.
9

32

27

27.8

30.2

30.6

.511

.531

38.2%

13.0%

51.2%

1.2%

5.9%

The five most valuable pitchers on the team so far by WARP are four relievers and Zach McAllister, who has made four starts and is now back in Triple-A.
10

24

35

22.8

24.5

24.3

.405

.424

0.8%

0.4%

1.2%

1.2%

0.8%

I don't care how neat a last name "Diamond" is, Scott Diamond should not be any team's best pitcher. Not even the Twins'.
11

34

27

31.1

31.5

31.0

.523

.503

29.9%

28.3%

58.3%

0.8%

-1.6%

The Dodgers signing of Andre Ethier has backed the Giants into a corner. They must hit back with a Melky Cabrera extension now or they risk losing control of the situation.
12

24

35

26.5

23.2

22.6

.408

.389

0.0%

0.4%

0.4%

0.4%

-1.2%

You have reached the Rockies entry in the Hit List. To ask a man about their awful pitching, turn to page 17. To research the humidor, turn to page 24. To find the punchline to this joke, search deep inside yourself.
13

26

34

27.1

25.7

26.3

.438

.418

0.0%

0.4%

0.4%

0.4%

0.4%

Do you want to know a secret? Do you promise not to tell? Let me whisper in your ear. (Jose Altuve is not very tall.)
14

24

34

25.7

25.8

26.1

.438

.458

0.4%

0.0%

0.4%

0.4%

0.0%

It's entirely possible that Lorenzo Cain could play 40 games over the next five years, inventing a new way to strain his groin each season.
15

33

27

33.6

34.5

34.6

.566

.585

46.1%

12.6%

58.7%

0.4%

-8.7%

Eh, if Paul Konerko really wanted to impress me, he'd steal a base.
16

20

41

22.6

23.2

23.7

.367

.348

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

The Padres are like Grimm on NBC: low-rated, hardly groundbreaking, and Mark Kotsay is a werewolf.
17

35

26

37.6

40.9

40.4

.631

.649

87.8%

9.8%

97.6%

-0.4%

-1.2%

Thing I honestly forgot: Michael Young has never played a major-league game for a team other than the Rangers.
18

27

35

29.7

28.0

28.6

.457

.477

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.4%

-0.4%

Ichiro could get on base an adequate amount if he wanted to. That's just not what he does, that's all.
19

31

30

36.1

37.0

35.5

.572

.553

45.7%

17.3%

63.0%

-0.4%

3.1%

The worst hitter in the Cardinals' every-day lineup is Daniel Descalso, whose .257 TAv is just the whiskeriest of whiskers below the magic .260 TAv that is defined as league average.
20

36

23

33.9

36.5

35.5

.601

.582

35.0%

22.0%

57.1%

-0.4%

16.9%

Bryce Harper had three hits, but they were all singles, which is bologna.
21

20

40

24.2

24.3

24.4

.387

.368

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.4%

0.0%

Bryan LaHair leads all Cubs in TAv. Second is Travis Wood, a pitcher with eight plate appearances. Third is David DeJesus, who is basically league-average for a right fielder. There's a reason you had to scroll through all those other teams to get here.
22

26

35

27.3

24.6

25.5

.423

.443

0.0%

0.0%

0.0%

-0.8%

-0.4%

The best thing about off-days is that beat writers do puff pieces, so you find out things like "Brandon Inge is an adrenaline junkie and built a skating rink at his house."
23

28

32

28.3

28.0

28.5

.470

.490

14.6%

10.6%

25.2%

-2.4%

2.4%

What if Austin Jackson's true BABIP talent really is .370?
24

32

27

27.3

24.8

24.8

.462

.442

1.2%

3.9%

5.1%

-2.8%

1.6%

The Pirates haven't been in first place this late in the season since ... oh, 2011.
25

29

32

32.2

33.4

33.7

.526

.546

8.3%

20.1%

28.3%

-3.5%

-27.2%

Ryan Sweeney in center, Adrian Gonzalez in right, and Scott Podsednick on a major-league roster are three stretches that the Red Sox won't be able to get away with for long.
26

39

23

36.7

37.1

36.4

.602

.582

55.5%

24.0%

79.5%

-3.9%

13.4%

Sure, Kenley Jansen gave up the go-ahead run in the top of the ninth to the Angels. But he was beat by a Mike Trout walk, steal, and run (on an Albert Pujols single). Who among us has not been beaten by a Trout?
27

34

27

33.4

31.5

31.6

.535

.515

49.6%

23.6%

73.2%

-4.3%

13.0%

Andrelton Simmons is supposedly from Mundo-Novo, Netherlands Antilles. When you put "Mundo-Novo" into Google Maps, you only get three places in Brazil. Someone call Donald Trump: Simmons is lying about his birth.
28

35

25

33.0

31.5

32.6

.550

.570

24.0%

38.2%

62.2%

-4.7%

3.5%

Heard this: Luke Scott lives in a pineapple under the sea. Also heard this: he has not been a good player in 2012.
29

31

30

33.6

31.2

32.0

.524

.543

1.6%

3.9%

5.5%

-4.7%

-2.0%

Brandon Morrow gave up a leadoff double, then left the game. He was awarded a loss for this, which is ludicrous. More importantly, he's the only Blue Jays starter pitching above replacement level so far. Toronto could be hurting without him.
30

32

29

28.5

28.3

28.6

.481

.461

2.0%

5.9%

7.9%

-6.7%

-8.7%

Maybe David Wright just missed Johan Santana a lot in 2011 and now he's happy again. It's heartwarming, really.