Ah, April—remember it? The world seemed so much more innocent back then. Little did we know what was to come and how it would change us all forever. Or something like that. Back on April 11, I trotted out my annual Knee-Jerk All-Star Team for the very purpose we see here today: so that we might look back and shake our heads in regret over the exultations and naiveté of that earlier time—except in the cases in which a superstar was the early favorite at a position, of which there were more than a few.

On Wednesday, Greg Maddux started his 14^th consecutive game without being credited with-if you'll pardon the expression-a win. Normally, I pay very little attention to a pitcher's won-loss record. I actually hope that at some point down the road the practice of counting pitcher wins and losses will have reached a level of irrelevance such that they will only be tracked for the benefit of fantasy team owners. When that point in time is due to arrive, I have no idea, but many of us and those like us have expended a million words or so about why it's futile to set too much store in the institution.

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Here's the concept: the All-Star break disrupts the progress of teams riding high, and at the same time allows reeling teams to regroup. I heard something to that effect put forward during a game telecast on Sunday. I honestly don't remember who it was that said it, since I was surfing back and forth between several games at the time, and writing it down would have required actually rising up off the couch to find a pen and then sitting back down again, only to remember that I also needed paper and having to get back up to find that as well. Getting up that often in such a short period of time would set a dangerous precedent for activity; you see how it is. Take my word for it, though: something approximating the following exchange took place during a telecast on Sunday.

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One of the sad realities of life is that we rarely get to choreograph our exits. Things seldom end as we would have wished, and it is no different for most big league ballplayers. Every ex-ballplayer remembers his first big league plate appearance. Those who don't are either lying or probably self-anesthetized in some fashion. On the other hand, how many of them remember their final plate appearance?

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Many of you are probably aware that the Chinese are going to great lengths to organize fan cheering for the upcoming Olympics. The Peoples Republic of China can do flip card stunts with the best of them, but this is something different: a massed, coordinated infusion of pre-programmed good vibes.

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Yesterday afternoon, David Bush of the Brewers no-hit the Blue Jays through seven innings. He gave up a leadoff triple to Lyle Overbay to start the eighth, and Overbay scored on the very next play when Alex Rios singled. Bush finished the inning, leaving the game with an 8-1 lead. He then had to watch as Toronto tagged the Milwaukee bullpen for six runs in the top of the ninth, including a home run by Overbay and a grand slam by Joe Inglett. The game ended with the tying run on first.

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About a year ago I concocted something that I call the Rumsfeld Number. It's named after former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, because he once said that you go to the war with the army you have, not the one you necessarily want. Applying that axiom to baseball, the Rumsfeld Number is an accounting of the percentage of a team's plate appearances given over to players who are below replacement level in VORP. To date, I have not heard from Mr. Rumsfeld as to his feelings on being attached to this accounting; I am going to assume his silence stands for approval. Who knows, perhaps this will be his greatest legacy. Former Secretaries of Defense can be assigned to three basic categories: The Obscure, the Famous and the Infamous. After his first stint under Gerald Ford, Rumsfeld probably would have fallen into the first category; unfortunately, history may place his second go-round in the third category. That is, unless the Rumsfeld Number really catches on and places him in the second camp. Only time will tell.

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Over this past weekend, the San Diego Padres completed a run of four consecutive 2-1 victories. This was ballyhooed as the first time any team has ever done that, which isn't too surprising. In fact, I started to wonder how many times teams were involved in four consecutive games with the same score--2-1 or otherwise. I asked Bil Burke to check our database, which goes back to 1957. Not surprisingly, the examples are sparse. The Padres are the only team to win four straight games by the same score, period. I would be very surprised if research were done prior to '57 and it was discovered that any team ever won five in a row by the same score or if there were too many other examples of four straight. (Bil reports there were plenty of threepeats.) One could imagine the chances being greater in the Deadball Era, when low-scoring games limited the number of outcomes in ways not possible in higher-scoring eras. Even with that, though, I would guess that four is the upper limit.

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Hitting Lots of People

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Earlier this year, I was at a University of Texas game when something jarring-at least to my mind-happened. In the fourth inning of a close game against Stanford, coach Augie Garrido had Kyle Russell-the player who led the nation in home runs in 2007-lay down a sacrifice bunt.

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Acceptance of things you cannot change is one of the key components of mental health. (Acceptance of things you can change might not be, however.) In order for you to maintain your sense of mental equilibrium as the baseball season progresses, you might want to take a look at the checklist below and come to an understanding with your mind that the information you are feeding it is real. Reassure your mind that you are not trying to trick it or make it learn new things. You are not purposely trying to make it think outside of some sort of box. You must gently reassure your brain that the baseball input you are giving it is genuine but not necessarily familiar. Reinforce your reassurances with the promise of a gift. Tell it you'll avoid activities that could result in concussions. It will like that.

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In these early-season times, let us venture beyond the frontier of normalcy to a place I like to call the Outlier Outpost. From the slits cut in the walls of the outpost, we can see the strange and abnormal numbers that don't conform to what everyone else is doing or to what we've come to expect. Let's take a look at what's out there (please note that all stats are through Wednesday).

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