"First, never curse an umpire. Curse the call, say it was a bleeping bad call, but never call the umpire a name. Try not to get personal."—Earl Weaver, Weaver on Strategy

"People always want to know whether there’s a magic word. Is it ‘cocksucker’? Is it ‘asshole’? No. The magic word is 'you.'"—Umpire Gary Cederstrom
—As They See ’Em: A Fan’s Travels in the Land of Umpires, by Bruce Weber

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