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April 1, 2014

Baseball Prospectus News

Introducing Mongolian Yak Racing Prospectus

by Russell A. Carleton


Prospectus Entertainment Ventures (PEV), which owns the highly successful website and annual book franchise Baseball Prospectus, has announced that it will be expanding its next-level coverage of sports into a new area. PEV CEO Joe Hamrahi announced on Tuesday that a new website, Mongolian Yak Racing Prospectus, would be launching soon and that several Baseball Prospectus regulars would be contributing content. Said Hamrahi, “We’re always looking to strengthen our brand, and this seems like a natural fit. We borrowed a supercomputer from a MLB mystery team, it told us to expand into Mongolian yak racing, and we all know that supercomputers are NEVER wrong. Which reminds me, I need to return this supercomputer.”

BP editor-in-chief Ben Lindbergh will do double-duty as MYRP editor-in-chief and its companion site Yakworthy, which will consist mostly of GIFs of yaks falling over. Lindbergh was excited by his new responsibilities, saying, “We’re going to offer a lot of great coverage, including the latest in yak racing rumors. We’re bringing on an as-yet-unnamed fetus who has been tweeting about yak transactions from his mother’s womb.”

The staff of the new website did suffer a loss when Harry Pavlidis was hired by the Ulaan Batar Eagles to become a full-time in-house Yakametrics analyst (#RIPHarry). However, BP stalwart Jason Parks has already been dispatched to the backfields of Erdenet to look for the next new star in yak racing. “I’m looking for yaks who show a lot of #want and who have nice #hooves,” said Parks. “I saw one yak who had thick #fur and #mane. It made me tingle in all the right places, although I could see him ending up as a relief yak rather than a starter. I’m done with the Dominican Republic. I’m going to spend most of my time getting #dark here in Mongolia.”

Yakametrics writer Russell Carleton said that he would mostly be writing about J’Voey Otto, a Yak from the Darkhan Greens. “Everyone says that he’s a powerful young yak who’s not getting paid to walk so much, and that he’s costing his trainer races,” Carleton said. “I think his ability to walk and clog the racing lanes is vastly underrated. Look at his Context-Neutral Value Above Replacement Yak (CNVARY), which adjusts for rider and track hardness.”

Reaction from the broader yak racing community was mixed. One veteran Mongolian yak racer said, “I don’t know what I think about all of this numbers stuff. Why would anyone use a hierarchical linear model on yak racing? I mean, who needs that? Everything I need to know about a yak, I can see with my own eyes.” He’s reported to be pursuing a studio analyst role on Mongolian Yak Racing Network.

Shortly after it launches, MYRP will offer coverage for the fantasy yak racing community as well as for fantasy yak polo enthusiasts, and will host an event at the forthcoming Mongolian Yak Racing Festival. Lindbergh also reported that plans are in the works for a daily podcast with Sam Miller entitled “Yakin’ It Up.” “It’ll be a 10-15 minute thing, tops,” he said. “Honest.”

Mongolian Yak Racing Prospectus will debut sometime in the next few weeks, or maybe later.

Russell A. Carleton is an author of Baseball Prospectus. 
Click here to see Russell's other articles. You can contact Russell by clicking here

Related Content:  Mongolian Yak Racing,  April Fool's

17 comments have been left for this article. (Click to hide comments)

BP Comment Quick Links

Nojsztat

Well done sir.

Apr 01, 2014 04:57 AM
rating: 3
 
kmbart

If you are interested in Yak Racing I have a blog called "Yakety Yak" that is devoted to this very topic. I am also working on getting a new sport - Yak yacht racing - recognized by the Olympic committee in time for the next summer games. It's slow going and a hairy process, but with some luck and a little help from my friends here at BP, I think it's doable. BTW - Mike Trout has offered $100M in backing for the new venture, if that means anything.

Apr 01, 2014 05:55 AM
rating: 8
 
Mike Fast

I hear Carl Yakstrzemski is a favorite for the yak racing Triple Crown this year.

Apr 01, 2014 06:52 AM
rating: 2
 
BP staff member Russell A. Carleton
BP staff

Mike, we have an opening for a Yak F/X expert, if you're interested.

Apr 01, 2014 06:56 AM
 
210AHole

I figured the next logical sport would be Senegalese Laamb Wrestling.

Check your calendars folks.

Apr 01, 2014 07:20 AM
rating: 1
 
jdeich

Aren't you worried that the recently-launched Buzkashi Prospectus will get your goat?

Apr 01, 2014 07:39 AM
rating: 7
 
BP staff member Dan Brooks
BP staff

Theme song for new venture is obviously the Yakety Sax.

Apr 01, 2014 08:31 AM
 
ScottyAllen

I'm wondering if anyone has studied the disturbing trend of performance enhancing yaks milk incidents among both riders and yaks alike. I smell a cover-up. And a yak.

Apr 01, 2014 08:41 AM
rating: 5
 
Llarry

Where do I sign up? What's a subscription run? Just can't get me enough Yak racing!


Well done, guys.

Apr 01, 2014 08:45 AM
rating: 0
 
oldbopper

The BP team can resurrect the Coaster's to sing their hit song on opening day. OMG, I grew up with that song.

Apr 01, 2014 09:39 AM
rating: 1
 
gjhardy

Any chance the DraftStreet and "Daily League Strategy" columns are also an April Fool's Day prank?

Apr 01, 2014 09:52 AM
rating: -3
 
NYYanks826

How many days until we hear about the first Mongolian Yak talking about how he's in the best shape of his life?

Apr 01, 2014 10:13 AM
rating: 1
 
BP staff member Russell A. Carleton
BP staff

If you hear Mongolian yaks talking to you, please consult your doctor!

Apr 01, 2014 11:21 AM
 
BP staff member Bill Skelton
BP staff

Just in time. My MYR Fantasy draft is right around the corner.

Apr 01, 2014 10:47 AM
 
Dodger300

Thank you, Russell. This is very timely.

Thursday morning I have a Skype interview for a counseling position in Mongolia. Fortunately, I learned that the former Head of the International School of Ulaan Bataar just happens to be visiting my city, so tomorrow morning I will meet with her to prep for it.

No lie. Swear to God.

Apr 01, 2014 12:16 PM
rating: 1
 
BrewersTT

This site is getting to be too analytical. I just want to share memories of my Dad buying me a big fermented yak milk, the scents and sounds of the trackside stands, putting a poster of my favorite yak on my bedroom wall, and trading cards with my buddies. Let's try not to overthink this wonderful sport.

Apr 02, 2014 13:51 PM
rating: 0
 
brucegilsen
(999)

Please please please schedule a Ulaan Bataar ballpark event this year! You guys never come here!

Apr 06, 2014 20:49 PM
rating: 0
 
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