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August 27, 2012

Out of Left Field

Boston Translation

by Matthew Kory


As you’re certainly aware, the Red Sox and Dodgers pulled off the super-crazy extreme mega-trade of this or any other century last Friday night. BP’s own R.J. Anderson and Kevin Goldstein already delved into the specifics of the deal, but if I may be permitted, I’d like to share some further thoughts.

The Name
It’s being called the Mega-Trade, and hooray for that because what we need now is to put names on specific trades that make them sound like Transformer knock-offs. The Dodgers next deal will be dubbed the Decepti-Deal and it will turn from a reasonable trade into a franchise stomping dino-car.

Fixing Boston’s Problems: Off the field
The 2012 Red Sox underperformed for numerous reasons, all of which become the foundations for making this blow-it-up deal. One of the most-cited causes for the team’s lousy win-loss record was problems in the clubhouse. If you believe media reports, those problems began last season and manifested themselves in the September collapse (the “Mega-Collapse”), the famous and now completely unfunny Clubhouse Chicken ‘n Beer Meme being the best-known example.

The problems carried through into the next season like a bad cold and infected this year’s team. There were reports of everything up to and including clubhouse rebellions, which I assume required players to paint their faces with eye black and dry erase markers, grab the freely available pitchforks from the Pitchfork Room (adjacent to the clubhouse), light a few torches (undershirts wrapped around the knobs of baseball bats, then set ablaze) and march on the manager’s office 25 feet away.

Clubhouse chemistry is impossible to quantify, and my own personal belief is that chemistry’s effects on a team’s won-loss record are vastly overstated. Yet, if there is enough data in any normal distribution, there will eventually come an outlier of extreme proportions. Could this 2011-12 Red Sox team have been it? The first club whose innocuous personalities combined to form some awful team-destroying serum. Some people seemed to think so. Maybe. I’m certainly not in a position to dispute such an accusation. But if so, I have a two questions.

1) If the players leaving Boston were the problem, then doesn’t it stand to reason that the Dodgers are now in for some serious clubhouse turmoil?

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<< Previous Article
Premium Article Baseball Therapy: One-... (08/27)
<< Previous Column
Premium Article Out of Left Field: Bob... (08/20)
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Premium Article Out of Left Field: Cas... (09/11)
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Premium Article Bizball: The Priciest ... (08/27)

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