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July 9, 2012

BP Unfiltered

Almost Every Oriole Lost Track of How Many Outs There Were

by Sam Miller

Everybody knows the inning ended after the third out. What this post presupposes is ... maybe it didn't?

Umpire: Literally couldn't care less. Hang on. Let me try to care less. 
Umpire: /juxtaposes stakes of baseball game with reality of world where 170 million live on a dollar a day in China alone.
Umpire: No. Same. That ball was fair by the way. 
Umpire: I'm imagining a boat beyond the right field wall. A schooner.  

First baseman Mark Reynolds: /just wandering around wondering how long it will take for somebody, anybody in the game of baseball to notice that he is totally blind.

Second baseman Robert Andino: Just made a catch guys. Just recorded an out. At the highest level in the world, and just nailed that. 
Robert Andino: Kind of a big deal. 
Robert Andino: It'll never get better than this moment. 

Right fielder Chris Davis: Gum gum gum gum gum gum gum gum gum gum gonna get some
Chris Davis: Whooopps
Chris Davis: /veers toward infield
Chris Davis: Hey Robert Andino nice catch! I said nice catch. Just wanted to come in and say nice catch. 

Center fielder Adam Jones: /sneaks in from behind center-field wall
Adam Jones: I was here the whole time!
Adam Jones: But how many outs was that? Just want to make sure you know. 
Adam Jones: /smells like cigarettes

Catcher Ronny Paulino: ??? 
Ronny Paulino: ???
Ronny Paulino: ???
Ronny Paulino: !!!

***

These guys are the best in the world at what they do. The people who did the structural engineering for the building you're sitting in are also the best in the world at what they do. Cheers!

Sam Miller is an author of Baseball Prospectus. 
Click here to see Sam's other articles. You can contact Sam by clicking here

Related Content:  Angels,  Orioles,  Forgot How Many Outs

6 comments have been left for this article.

<< Previous Article
Premium Article Prospects Will Break Y... (07/06)
<< Previous Column
BP Unfiltered: Scott K... (07/09)
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BP Unfiltered: Erick A... (07/09)
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Premium Article The Prospectus Hit Lis... (07/09)

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