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May 22, 2012

BP Unfiltered

Jacoby Ellsbury Bunting a Ball Into HIs Face

by Sam Miller

Is there an expiration date for a blooper? Do bloopers go bad if they're not used frequently, or do they gain fullness and flavor if properly stored in a cool, dark place? Does Jacoby Ellsbury bunting a baseball into his face seem any less peculiar to a baseball fan in 2012 than it would have in 2008, when it occurred? Can the 2012 baseball fan relate to a 2008 blooper, or do we merely see it as a relic from a different age, from a different political climate and different economy and different culture? I guess what I'm asking is, do you find this as funny as I find this funny? 

Three funniest parts of this are, obviously: 

1. Ellsbury initially reacting to the baseball exactly as he would react to a bee: Stiffen, put hands up in swatting posture, whoawhoagetawayfrommebee. Ellsbury has bunted thousands of times in his life, and I bet this is the first time he has even bunted a baseball into his head, so in Jacoby Ellsbury's mind it is actually probably much more likely that a bee has flown into his face at just that moment than that a baseball, bunted by him, has attacked him. In fact, are we sure it wasn't a bee? It might have been a bee. 

2. Ellsbury running away. Jacoby Ellsbury is a very fast runner. When he was drafted, and he was scared to go into the big dangerous world, his girlfriend, Jenny, looked him deep in the eyes: 

Jenny: Listen, you promise me something, OK? 
Jenny: If you're ever in trouble,
Jenny: Don't be brave.  
Jenny: You just run, OK? 
Jenny: Just run.

Ellsbury broke up with Jenny shortly after that. Who quotes Forrest Gump, in the year 2005? And acts like she made the speech up herself. I mean, seriously. But he also never forgot what she said. 

3. Ellsbury was not hurt. This isn't a funny thing, exactly, but had he had been hurt this would have been infinitely less funny. So the net result is much greater funniness. 

In conclusion, Jacoby LOLsbury. 

Sam Miller is an author of Baseball Prospectus. 
Click here to see Sam's other articles. You can contact Sam by clicking here

Related Content:  Jacoby Ellsbury

6 comments have been left for this article.

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