HACKING MASS Results: Our Annual Postseason Anti-Awards

HACKING MASS |
Team-by-Team Results |
2000 Rosters |
Results By Position

It’s that time of year again: the leaves are turning, the chill of autumn is in the air, and the stiffest of the stiff
are being recognized for a job vigorously done. Here are the results of
this year’s HACKING MASS extravaganza.

Roundup

Every season has a surprise, and in 2000 the surprise was none other than HM poster boy Rey Ordonez himself.
Ordonez’ early season exit from competition, and from racking up at-bats that ended in complete failure, was too much
for any top team to overcome. In a competition like this, you need production from every position to succeed, and St.
Rey just didn’t get it done in 2000.

Our first place winner this year, Eugene Hung and his Designated Whiffers, rode the veteran leadership and can-do
attitude of outfielder/MVP Marquis Grissom to the title. Congrats, Eugene: keep exhibiting this kind of eye
for talent and the question is not if Cam Bonifay will come calling, but when.

Second place went to seasoned veteran Eric Roush, and in third
was the first of Brom Keifetz’s many entries. Just as a really early FYI: next year, we take all multiple entries
and throw them in the mulcher, so be warned.

Normally, we have a special mention for the Top Team That Didn’t Pick St. Rey, but since none of the top teams
had Ordonez this season, we’ll make note of the top team that had Ordonez starting at shortstop: Mendoza’s Disciples
finished in fifth place, getting stellar production from every other lineup spot. Arik Florimonte, this is indeed
a proud moment for you and yours.

Your 2000 HACKING MASS All Star Team:

• C: Mike Matheny (55.96 ESPN)
• 1B: Ron Coomer (39.51)
• 3B: Vinny "The Stick" Castilla (80.83)
• MI: Alex Gonzalez* (102.43)
• OF: Grissom (102.62)

Please visit us in February, when we kick off HACKING MASS 2001 with

• free downloadable cookies,
• lots of blinking/marqueed text courtesy of your friends at AOL and Microsoft,
• and especially lucid guest commentary by human pickle and Baseball Prospectus
  columnist emeritus Hunter S. Thompson**!

Team-by-Team Results

* the really young one who plays in Florida. Not to be confused with the less young free agent who thinks he’s worth
six million per for a long-term deal, despite the fact that he produces less than half the ESPN of the Florida
model.

** talent subject to change without notice. No refunds or exchanges. Your mileage may vary.

HACKING MASS |
Team-by-Team Results |
2000 Rosters |
Results By Position