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KETCHUP OR PLATELETS? YOU DECIDE

“As he was walking away he asked, ‘How about the bloody sock?’ I said, ‘Yeah, we got a lot of publicity out of that, and that was all he can recall me saying. He said he assumed what I meant was that the sock was fake and that it was just a publicity stunt. That by no means is what I meant.”

Doug Mirabelli, on his encounter with Gary Thorne that led Thorne to declare on-air that it was fake blood on Schilling’s sock during the 2004 ALCS.

“We have no reason to doubt Curt, who has a profound respect for the history of the game and is cognizant of his role as a history maker. The stain on the sock is now brown, which is what happens to blood over time.”
Jeff Idelson of the Hall of Fame. They have the WS sock, not the one from the ALCS. (Jimmy Golen, Boston Globe)

“Take Gary Thorne, John, Jack Joe or whatever his first name is, Heyman, Karen Vescey, Woody Paige, CHB, Jay Marriotti, Bill Plaschke, and a host of other people that litter the media landscape, and put them all on an island somewhere.”
Curt Schilling, on his blog.

THE GUY SELLS DEER EJACULATE, WE WOULDN’T MESS WITH HIM EITHER

“I saw a guy that probably would have ripped my throat out had I taken him out of the game. But that’s OK. That’s what I was looking for.”
Mariners manager Mike Hargrove, on a mound visit to Jarrod Washburn during his complete game.

“I don’t remember exactly how it went. But he said something like, ‘I’m going to let you face Chavez.’ And I said, ‘You’re right. You are.'”
–Jarrod Washburn. The entire game lasted 1 hour, 47 minutes.

“I’m a contact pitcher. I don’t strike out guys. I rely on my defense, which played exceptionally behind me tonight. Sometimes the hits fall in, and sometimes we can make a play on them.”
–Washburn

“We went through six innings in an hour. That’s a tribute to the guys who were on the mound throwing strikes.”
–Mike Hargrove

“It’s one of the best games I’ve ever pitched. I wouldn’t say it’s the best stuff I’ve ever had or anything like that. I was by no means dominating. I was just able to make them mis-hit the ball.”
–Washburn (Geoff Baker, Seattle Times)

LOU VERSUS “CONVENTIONAL WISDOM”, ROUND 8,596

“I don’t really buy this thing where a reliever is out there for one inning only if he’s pitching well. The more pitchers a manager is forced to bring into a game, the more things can go wrong.”
Lou Piniella

“This is not [a benching]. What I’d like to see our hitters doing though, is work the pitchers for a base on balls. We need to improve that. That’s one area we really, really need to work on. I’m not talking about going up there to look for a walk, but, boy, when it’s there, just take it.”
–Lou Piniella, on giving utility infielder Ryan Theriot a chance at being a regular at shortstop.

“I remember when I managed against Tony, if you talk before the ballgame and he beat me, he’d look for me the next day. If he had to go find me in the commissary, he’d come get me. I told him, I talked to him when we were in Chicago, and I said, ‘If you beat me, you’re not going to talk to me any more.’ I haven’t talked to him. We’re playing a little bit of head games, nothing more, nothing less.”
–Piniella, on the superstitious opposing manager, Tony La Russa. (Carrie Muskat, MLB.com)

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU UNWITTINGLY SPEND A LARGE PORTION OF YOUR LIFE ON AN AIRPLANE WITH SCOTT BORAS

“Everyone told me I should say I was going to beat the Yankees. I thought it was a joke, so I didn’t say that.”
Red Sox starter Daisuke Matsuzaka, reflecting back on his first press conference. Matsuzaka has posted a 4.36 ERA so far in 2007.

“I think the history and the tradition of a place is something you have to experience first-hand. So, until I get there and I stand on the field, it’s tough to have an opinion.”
–Dice-K

“He gets cable. He knows.”
–Francona, on Matsuzaka’s awareness of the Yanks-Sox rivalry. (Jack Curry, The New York Times)

THAT ONE NL EAST CHAMPIONSHIP BOUGHT A LOT OF RESPECT APPARENTLY

“Reporters in New York make a big deal out of everything I say. They’re paid to stir the pot. If I give the Mets too much credit, I’m being coy. If I brag about our team, I’m not giving [the Mets] enough respect. Just shut up and write what I say.”
Braves third baseman Chipper Jones

“Until we play a 162-game season, play consistently every month… we’ve got some players in here who will play with consistency. We’ve got some who are still young. Will they gain that consistency? Yes.”
–Jones

“But until they’ve played consistently at least one time over the course of a 162-game season, you can’t jump out on a limb and say we’re on the Mets’ level.”
–Jones

“I just hope we’re not the only team that can beat them.”
–Chipper Jones (David O’Brien, Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

LET KEITH TAKE YOU TO SCORES–HE’LL HAVE YOU RIGHT IN NO TIME

“You can’t try to get it all back in one game. There has to be a process. It’s a gradual one, but I’m starting to feel more comfortable.”
–Mets third baseman David Wright. Wright’s .265/.384/.337 line so far has yielded a 3.7 VORP.

“A pitch on the outside corner is a pitch that most hitters love. But whenever anyone slumps, it looks like it’s third down and 40. It’s so far away.”
Keith Hernandez, SNY color commentator, on Wright’s slump. Hernandez was a .296/.384/436 career hitter.

“I don’t call it a slump. It’s just a little detour from where I want to be.”
–David Wright

NEVER FEEL SORRY FOR THE GUY MAKING $7.5 MILLION TO SIT IN THE DUGOUT

“He shouldn’t be questioned…it’s unfair to even be talking about it.”
Derek Jeter, on Joe Torre.

“He’s not playing, that’s the bottom line. That’s pretty much all I’ve got to say. It’s unfair. It should stop. We should never talk about his job. He’s been doing a great job. He’s doing a great job this year.”
–Jeter (Tyler Kepner, The New York Times)

“My mom taught me to knock on wood.”
–Torre, on going out to see if starter Jeff Karstens was all right on Saturday after a Julio Lugo liner went off his leg.


“DON’T BLAME ME/BRING ON THE MAJOR LEAGUES”

“I think Hunter Pence deserves to play in the big leagues. He’s got a bright future. I think he’s very talented, and I don’t object to them calling him up to try to spark us. But I think it’s unfair to Chris. I think it sends the wrong message to the team that there’s something drastic that needs to be fixed. I don’t like it. If you’re going to put Chris Burke on the bench, I think it’s a horrible move.”
Astros first baseman Lance Berkman

“At the end of the day, I stunk. We’re not doing good and they did what they had to do. At the end of the day, I’ve got only myself to blame.”
–Chris Burke

“You have to let a guy settle in a little bit. Look at me, I’m hitting .200. Does that mean I’m going to end up hitting .230? Absolutely not.”
–Berkman. As of Sunday, Berkman was hitting .256/.402/.341.

“Nothing against Hunter. I think he deserves to be here. I think he’s going to do great when he gets a chance. But then my question is, what if Hunter comes up and struggles after 60 or 70 at-bats? Then you’ve got two guys thinking, ‘What’s going on here–do I belong in this organization?’ and that sort of thing. I don’t think that’s the right move, putting Chris on the bench.”
–Berkman

“The things is we don’t need a bat. We’re just not hitting. But when you’re not hitting, you try to find an answer. Hunter Pence is a very high-ceiling young player. He could maybe inject some energy into the lineup. We’ll see.”
Brad Ausmus

“He can bring life to the club. He gets excited when he gets on the field. Hopefully everybody feeds off that. Adding his bat into the lineup is going to add more power and another threat for a home-run ball.”
Roy Oswalt

SOUNDS LIKE BOBBY’S HAVING FUN

“In the past some Japanese coaches told me, ‘It’s supposed to be fun, have fun,’ but coming from them, I didn’t know what that was supposed to mean. Bobby’s different, because if he asks, ‘Do you have fun?’ it means he really wants you to have a fun time on the field. From the Japanese coach and from Bobby Valentine, the same words, but a different meaning.”
Toshiaki Imae, the Marines’ third baseman, off to a slow .238/.281/.321 start this year.

“Because his manager’s an idiot.”
–Bobby Valentine, on Mariners manager Mike Hargrove’s platooning of catcher Kenji Johjima.

“When he’s filming the ad and it takes forever to say the shortest thing–I’ve been there. It’s because you can’t just say ‘it’s f—— hot’ here. You have to say, ‘The temperature is warmer currently than in a relative fashion to the temperature yesterday,’ because you don’t want to offend anyone.”
–Valentine, on the reality of the film Lost in Translation. (Chris Ballard, SI.com)

THE REST

“We’ve waited ten years for this to turn around, and we’re seeing it right here.”
–Rays color commentator Joe Magrane, after Elijah Dukes and Rocco Baldelli went deep against Dallas Braden on Sunday.


“I kept telling Scoot, ‘You’re not playing right, you’re playing a deep second.'”

–A’s manager Bob Geren, on what he tells Marco Scutaro, who due to a plethora of injuries to their outfielders, has had to play in right field. (Mychael Urban, MLB.com)

“If Brian was playing at least decent last year, we don’t have any room for Erstad to come here.”
Ozzie Guillen, on Brian Anderson, who was optioned to Triple-A. (ESPN.com)

“I am super excited with how things are progressing. I feel as good as I did in 1996 and 1997.”

–Mets pitcher Pedro Martinez, who posted a 40.6 VORP and a 87.6 VORP in those years, respectively. (Associated Press)

“If we have a surplus of hot dogs, we’ll use our digital signs to reduce the price so we can get rid of them.”
–A’s owner Lew Wolff, on the new ballpark the A’s are building in Fremont. (Nick Cafardo, Boston Globe)

“The dreadlocks are part of his body. Thus, if he is hit by a pitch, he would be awarded the base, unless he failed to make an effort to avoid the pitch or was struck by the pitch in the strike zone–in other words, were his hair to intrude upon the strike zone in trying to get out of the way, hanging over the strike zone or such. Also, if tagged out on the bases via a tag or on the hair, he would be out. If he were to be struck on the hair by a batted ball, he would also be ruled out.”
–Mike Port, baseball’s vice president of umpires, on Manny Ramirez.

Alex Carnevale is a contributor to Baseball Prospectus. You can reach Alex by clicking here. You can also find his Football Outsiders work here.

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