April 27, 2017
I’m Very Nervous
Yes, I know: April isn’t even over—heck, we haven’t reached the 1/8th point of the season yet—but there are reasons why I’m nervous about my chances to win this year.
To start with, my competitors seem to have all the freaking luck. I know that Michael Conforto was supposed to be good, but a .365 batting average, four home runs, 15 RBIs, and 18 runs in 86 plate appearances? I thought he was going to provide a fourth outfielder’s production. I know Bryce Harper always gets off to a fast start, but nine home runs and five steals in 96 plate appearances? Boy, do I regret not going the extra dollar on him in Tout Wars. Even more annoying are the hitters who came out of nowhere. Colby Rasmus (7 HR, 19 RBIa, 95 PA) and Aledmys Diaz (4 HR, .423 AVG, 75 PA) are killing me. not only in my AL and NL leagues, but in my mixed leagues as well.
And, wouldn’t you know it, my team has had no luck whatsoever. I’m thinking of changing my team name to the Broken Mirrors to reflect my team’s bad fortunes. You always expect one or two slow starters on your team in any given year. But I seem to have every one of these bums on my team.
Coming out of my draft, Justin Upton, Joey Votto and Jose Abreu seemed like a pretty reasonable core. But the three them have combined for seven home runs and a paltry .225 batting average. My best hitter—Daniel Murphy—is mitigating their bad batting averages with a .370 mark, but he is barely doing anything else (2 HR, 12 RBIs, SB). I never spend on catchers but made an exception this year, so wouldn’t it figure that Jonathan Lucroy is doesn’t have a home run or a steal yet and has a pitiful six runs batted in. Justin Turner is another disappointment. No homers, no steals, and a .247 batting average. I could tolerate one or two slow starts but it feels like my entire team stinks.
Don’t get me started on the pitching. I rarely splurge on an ace (Clayton Kershaw is always too expensive) but this year I took the plunge on Max Scherzer. He looks healthy, but a 4.35 ERA and a strikeout rate of 8.7 per nine innings isn’t going to take my team to the promised land. I know Justin Verlander isn’t quite the pitcher he was in 2012-2013 prime, but I was expecting an ERA around 3.50—not a 5.46 with a home-run rate of close to two dingers per nine. My big-ticket closer? You guessed it, Cody Allen, he of the 6.97 ERA and 1.35 WHIP. Over at the Closer Report, Matt Collins says that I “shouldn’t worry” but he also mentions Zack McAllister as a potential replacement. Seriously, Matt? Et tu, Collins?
Stop telling me not to panic! This is bad! Everything is going wrong and there is no way to recover from this disaster! Maybe it’s not too late to trade half of my team for Eric Thames!