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Joshua Kusnick is an MLBPA-certified agent who periodically writes about his experiences representing professional players. You can subscribe to his podcast on iTunes, and reach him via email at JoshuaKusnick@aol.com and on Twitter @JoshuaKusnick.

Agents are not supposed to be people. Agents do not have lives. Agents do not have columns and podcasts and blogs. Agents do not interact with fans. Agents are just machines designed to extract money from your favorite team in order to make players money. Agents are the ones to blame when your favorite player leaves town, and agents get no credit when your favorite player comes to town.

That’s all hyperbole, of course—I’m a real person with many interests outside of baseball, and while being an agent partially defines me, it’s not who I am. As much as I love the job—and for all of its perks and benefits—working as an agent often drives me to distraction. So many stressful things happen on a day-to-day basis that it’s surprising that any agent could live to an old age. And all of those professional pressures are condensed into the span of a few days at the Winter Meetings, which take place each December. Here is my Winter Meetings journal of everything that happened to me in Orlando earlier this month.

Monday, 5 PM: Upon my entrance to the Swan and Dolphin hotel the very first person I encounter is Roy Halladay, who has just announced his retirement. The second person I encounter is an MLB.com official with whom I am good friends. Asked him if he had any Rule 5 dope, to which he responded, “Other than Nieto to Chi Sox, I haven’t heard much.” I am surprised to hear this, not because Nieto is a client of mine, but because I heard the same thing from another independent source.

Monday, 6 PM: I enter the trade show, a sprawling landscape of every vendor in the baseball world. Everyone from bat companies to stadium builders attend, and companies like All-Star, Old Hickory, and Rawlings have set up massive displays. This is my eighth Winter Meetings, so I am not intimidated by the sight. I have a specific group of companies I schedule meetings with far in advance. When I landed at the Rawlings booth, I drop off the client list in preparation for the real meeting on Saturday. As I’m leaving, I notice the Gold Glove display, with my client Dalton Pompey’s name prominently displayed. I leave with 30 business cards and not much swag. Overall, a win.

Monday, 10 PM: Dinner with a large group of media members. After two hours, I notice Brady Anderson sitting to our right at a table by himself. I know Brady due to my history as a batboy for the Orioles in spring training when I was eight years old, and again when I was 12. I say hello, and Brady asks me to sit down. We talk for 20 minutes about Steve Clevenger. When Brady leaves, I bring him to our large group to meet my wife. Brady is gracious, then leaves. Cory Schwartz from MLB.com is on the far side of the table and is absolutely irate that he didn’t notice Brady at the table. The next night, Cory ends up in a footrace with Brady. Sans my failed introduction, this never happens.

Tuesday, 2 AM: I leave the lobby after mingling with media members and officials from about 10 teams. I have an impromptu meeting with an equipment company late at night, and I am dealing with a very drunk representative. These are the worst meetings. I arrive at my hotel at 2:30 AM.

Tuesday 7, AM: I return to the hotel lobby, then spend three hours in the lobby/suite meetings before heading back to the trade show. I avoid every agent in hopes of not having to talk to any of them. Nothing good can come from these interactions. They just kill time. Official meetings are conducted in person at the trade show, and I have a small enough roster to be able to go over each client individually. It seems to be more effective than most years. The trade show ends at 5. I proceed to call or text every client on my roster, MLB and MiLB alike, to relay status updates on negotiations with teams and companies.

Tuesday, 9 PM: I receive a message learning of the Brady Anderson footrace during a meeting with a shoe company. I hear more information about the upcoming Rule 5 draft, and I feel even better about Adrian Nieto’s chances of being selected. More independent confirmation was received. Lots of rumors flying about various players signing staggering contracts, which if true would be good for business. Really hoping they’re true, but ultimately nothing happens. I leave the lobby at 1 AM after meeting about 30 more people from 10 more teams.

Wednesday, 8 am: I have several phone calls to make before I have to drag myself into the lobby. When I arrive, I have a meeting with a former client about a possible expansion of my company. This takes several hours, with inconclusive results. Later that morning, I get multiple texts, tweets, and phone calls regarding an alleged agent fight that took place in the parking lot. I am immediately accused of being one of the participants. No chance. Even I’m not that reckless. I later see grainy video of said fight. It’s a bad look for agents, and I hope whoever was dumb enough to do that at the Winter Meetings gets outed. I also hear of a second fight, which would sound totally plausible if you were to hear all the details. Again I hope it’s true, if only for the story.

Wednesday, 10 AM-4PM: I wrap up my trade show visit, finalizing everything I had talked about with each vendor with whom I had met. Overall, a fantastic trip for marketing.

Wednesday, 5 PM-3 AM: I have a dizzying amount of phone calls with players and meetings with teams, followed by dinner with team officials and vendors. The scant time I’m able to spend with my yearly Winter Meetings crew arrives between 2-3 AM. This is the second-best moment by a mile of my trip to Orlando.

In the lobby, I give Chris Cotillo some advice on how to handle his meteoric rise. (I was the youngest MLBPA-certified agent, and I had a lot of chances to screw up a lot of things very early in my career.) After about 10 minutes, our mutual friend Jon Heyman walks up, and we briefly discuss Nietos’ chances in the next morning’s Rule 5 draft. Out of nowhere, Heyman begins to discuss the importance of school grades. “I’m not worried about the Rule 5 draft,” Heyman tells Cotillo. “What I’m worried about is you getting zeroes for all the classes you’re missing. Zeroes are bad.” After hearing those three words, “zeroes are bad,” I laughed almost too hard to breathe. If there was one takeaway for me from Orlando, it’s that “zeroes are bad.”

Thursday, 8 AM: I’m outside the entrance to the grand ballroom, where the Rule 5 draft is to be held. I connect with the remaining teams I have yet to speak with for in-person meetings. Over the course of the week, I’ve spoken to someone from all 30 clubs.

Thursday, 9 AM: The Rule 5 draft begins: no. 1, Patrick Schuster; nos. 2 and 3, pass; no. 4, Adrian Nieto to the Chicago White Sox. I raise my hands in the made field goal position after the pick is announced and walk out of the room. I call Adrian and beat the social networks to the punch, becoming the first to tell him he’s been selected. It’s an awesome feeling. I was there on draft day for him in 2008, and I am still here for this. The family is shedding tears of joy, and the player is more motivated than ever. An excellent ending to the meetings.

Thursday, 11 AM: I do my final lap in the lobby and run into Peter Gammons. After seeing him in passing for 10 years, I had to ask him something: Pearl Jam or Nirvana? He says Pearl Jam, and I am saddened by his answer. We part ways, and I take one final glance at the lobby. I leave the hotel one MLB client richer and am satisfied by the experience. It was a strange year, since the biggest news items out of Orlando were the supposed agent fights, the Brady Anderson footrace, and the Seattle Mariners front office story, which I was saddened to read about since I respect everyone involved. The biggest win of the meetings was obviously Nieto.

Thursday, 1pm: I leave the hotel and retreat to Disneyworld, where I walk down the left side of Mainstreet, U.S.A. Across the street, I notice a camera crew doing a location scout for a future move, and I recognize Simpsons star Hank Azaria and Matt Levin of Zoolander/Tropic Thunder. I ask for a photograph with Hank, and I tell him that I’m an agent. He asks what kind, and I respond “baseball.” He says he is a Mets fan, and that if he makes a comeback at age 50 he’ll give me a call. I say I’m excited about the Mets signing Bartolo Colon because I want to watch him hit and run the bases this year. He laughs. I tell him I am also the agent for John Buccigross at ESPN, whereupon Hank grabs his assistant and entire crew and introduces me to them as “John Buccigross’s agent.” I am dumbstruck.

He asks for my card and hands it to his assistant, saying “Let’s not lose this one.” He then tells me about a movie project about a retired announcer he is working on based on his funnyordie.com character Jim Brockmeyer, and he says that Buccigross would be perfect for the film. The following morning I get an email titled “Hank Azaria/Baseball project” from his assistant. The email states that they are interested in working with John, and that they will be in touch once casting starts. I am still in shock that this happened.

Lucky events like the Azaria story seem to happen to me more often than expected, but dumb luck is only dumb if you don’t follow up on it. Taking chances and being prepared are of paramount importance, and you won’t get anywhere unless you put yourself in positions to succeed. Zeroes are bad.

Thank you for reading

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jonkk1
12/27
Awesome recap. Thanks!
"Dumb luck is only dumb if you don't follow up."
JoshuaKusnick
12/27
Thank you. I'm sorry that it wasn't more technical
mlsgrad99
12/27
I enjoyed reading this. Love these inside looks.
JoshuaKusnick
12/27
Thank you
ceadie
12/27
Dumb luck happens to smart people.
JoshuaKusnick
12/27
Thank you.
sam19041
12/27
Thanks a lot for sharing, Josh. Best of luck to you.
JoshuaKusnick
12/27
I appreciate you reading. Thank you
OsandNattyBohs
12/27
This was fantastic. I love the inside look and it was even cooler to get an agent's perspective, as it's not one we often see.

I have to ask the question that's burning in everyone's mind, though: is there any agent in the business who could beat Scott Boras in a street fight, or would he just crush any prospective challenger under a pile of his own cash?

In all seriousness, i really enjoyed this and hope to see more from you here at BP. I'll be subscribing to the podcast shortly.
JoshuaKusnick
12/28
I just keep to myself and hope for the best. I don't worry about other agents. Just work hard for who I work for and thats that.
OsandNattyBohs
12/28
I respect that, I was totally joking. Like I said, great stuff, hope to see more soon!
poorlittlefool
12/27
Joshua - I'd like to read more about the trade show meetings with various companies. I don't mean inappropriate details, but this is a whole side of the business I don't usually think about.

So are most of these meetings related to endorsements? Or are there a bunch of other things?
JoshuaKusnick
12/28
I wanted to write more on the trade show but can't divulge most of it. But yes it was all endorsement related. Any specific questions in mind?
poorlittlefool
12/28
I guess a look into the process and some of the issues. For major leaguers, I tend to think it's all automatic with $$ coming from MLB deals. But I know that can't really be the case - there must be many other opportunities for an MLB player to lend a name or presence to a product or cause. Could you give examples of some of these opportunities, and how an agent goes about getting a player hooked up with a vendor? And I'm curious how the process and opportunities work out particularly in the case of an "average" player as opposed to a very high profile guy.

I'd also love some insight into the special issues re minor league player endorsement opportunities. I'd assume there are some real differences between what may be available for a minor leaguer compared to a major leaguer. And I assume - but certainly don't know - there are differences between a top prospect and an organizational guy in terms of opportunities.

Thanks!
JoshuaKusnick
12/28
Do you think I could carry an entire column about minor league endorsements? Id be happy to write it Im honestly asking if you think it would suffice as one story/

thanks

J
russell
12/30
I'd be interested.
poorlittlefool
12/31
Yes, I think there'd be plenty of interest - and I"m sure there are enough details, anecdotes, oddities, and insights into the issues a minor leaguer encounters re endorsements that we don't even conceive of.
ajburrows
12/28
Hey Joshua, this is a great article. Thanks for writing it. Is there any way to get your podcast on Android?
JoshuaKusnick
12/28
I think you can just download it directly from Itunes, I can ask to see if its posted anywhere else. please email me to remind me thank you
bpars3
12/28
Joshua -

What are your thoughts on Adrian sticking with the Sox this year? They had a pretty rough year out of the catchers spot in the lineup, so if he can hit at all, you have to feel good about his chances.

Thanks for the recap on Cory & Brady's footrace. I wish the fantasy 411 would be up and running just to hear Cory tell the story.

Thanks, Brian
JoshuaKusnick
12/28
Mortal lock. He'd have to fall on his face not to stick for a variety of reasons I cant talk about. Barring a 200 ba he's sticking
JoshuaKusnick
12/28
thank you to everyone so far on this article. It has garnered the best response of anyone I have ever written thus far. Please if possible keep this discussion going. I have no idea when and what the next story is going to be about. Very hard to top this one it seems.
Asinwreck
12/28
Your perspective on the footrace alone made this a great column, and that was just one of so many entertaining details.

Might be grist for a separate column, but expanding on what it's been like to represent Adrian Nieto in the days after his selection would be interesting to read.
JoshuaKusnick
12/29
I think a player specific article would be tricky. Not sure theres enough printable information. Remember im not a reporter just an agent. Thank you for reading