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April 18, 2013

Skewed Left

The Uptons in April

by Zachary Levine


If baseball players really are just like us—hint: they’re not; they’re way more amused by remote control cars than any of us over age seven are—then the Upton family is just like the Levine family.

Not in the sense of anything related to baseball ability or the older brother’s badass initials, but in the way time works and an age gap that tends to be neutralized.

When Justin Upton and B.J. Upton hit their 100th career home runs on the same day, it was written as some sort of perfect synchronization of fraternal tendencies. Whereas really all that happened was that B.J. had been lapped. While he was going deep for the 100th time a couple weeks shy of his 28th birthday, Justin was doing it more than three full years earlier in age. (Their birthdays are three years and four days apart.)

It’s the same way time worked when you were the older brother. The fact that bedtime advanced to 9 p.m. for you and your younger brother was great until you realized he was getting it two years before you. And when you realized that you vs. your brother in some sport or another was a fair game or a fair race, it actually meant he was two years ahead of you.

While Bossman Junior is owed $75.25 million over the next five years and Justin just $38.5 million for three, it’s been exaggeratedly evident that the younger Upton is the better one, as expected. That 100/100 day was just roughly 75 games ago, and their starts to their first season as teammates couldn’t be much more different.

Justin Upton, who has to face the burden every day of having been traded for the best player in baseball, went 1-for-4 in the Wednesday matinee to level off at .333 with a .383 on-base percentage and a cartoonish .852 slugging percentage. He leads all of baseball with eight home runs, and even if there really was something about his personality that makes the Diamondbacks not regret trading him, they should certainly wish they got more for him.

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Related Content:  Justin Upton,  B.j. Upton,  Braves

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<< Previous Article
Premium Article In A Pickle: Torii of ... (04/18)
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Premium Article Skewed Left: The Histo... (04/16)
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Premium Article Skewed Left: Staying A... (04/23)
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