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March 19, 2013

Western Front

Pieces of Peoria

by Geoff Young

The box score indicates 83 degrees at game time, but I was there and it was hotter. Perched on tall metal stools along the right-field line with headsets on and studio lights shining in our eyes, we call the fifth, sixth, and seventh innings on television.

It is more aimless babbling and less delivery of facts, but it is fun in our minds, which is the best place for fun. Six of us sit sweltering under the unforgiving Arizona sun as the Padres mount a late comeback and beat the Angels in a meaningless March contest. If you listen closely, you can hear me offer such astounding insights as “wow!” and “oh!” on a Gregorio Petit two-run single during said comeback.

We miss huge chunks of the action while trying to keep dead time to a minimum. Talk at all costs, hope some of it is relevant. Musing that number 3 on the Angels is Babe Ruth? Check. Wondering when Ruth was traded to Anaheim despite having died 64 years earlier? Check.

Before we go on camera, Jaff Decker defies the scouting reports and makes a beautiful diving catch on the warning track in center field. In a similarly defiant act, Peter Bourjos homers. Decker isn't supposed to make diving catches in center field; Bourjos isn't supposed to homer.

Padres farmhand Daniel Robertson singles, triples, and makes a couple of nice plays in right field. Generously listed at 5-foot-8, Robertson is not supposed to do these things.

Baseball should be orderly, logical. We should not be calling three innings of this game on other people's televisions. I should not be dropping gratuitous Juan Eichelberger references, nor should I be yelling to Mark Loretta between innings, although it is difficult to refrain when he starts it.