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March 4, 2013

Pebble Hunting

Team Previews Based on Cactus League Stadium Advertisements

by Sam Miller

When I go to minor-league games, I find myself focusing mostly on the advertisements on the outfield walls. They're a strange blend of multi-national companies—does Deutsche Bank (hypothetical example) even know it is paying $400 a year for a square of left-center field advertising in the Midwest League, or did they send a fax to a one-digit-off number?—and tiny, tiny companies, some not even companies. One girl selling Girl Scout cookies. That sort of thing. 

Spring Training's outfield walls aren't much different. Watching Cactus League action this week, I saw ads for: 

• Health care providers; 
• Waterproof sunblock;
• Doctors; 
• Engine oil;
• Casinos; 
• IT services; 
• Car washes;
• Irrigation services; 
• Sushi bars; 
• A furniture company that sells furniture made of PVC pipes; 
• Tobacco-free initiatives;
• An airport; 
• Tanning salons; 
• Senior-living residences;
• An online yellow pages directory I've never heard of; 
• Food distributors; 
• Delis; 
• Pepsi.

And then I started to wonder (no I didn't) whether these ads might actually represent their home teams' 2013 outlooks (they don't) and realized that they actually do (not really)! So what follows is a framing device. Enjoy!

Los Angeles Dodgers (Camelback Ranch)
Muscle Milk

Company Slogan (not real): When You Want To Get Really Strong Really Fast And You Don’t Care How Much It Costs (Or Whether You’re Getting A Bit Of Arsenic, Lead, And Cadmium In The Package)

Los Angeles Angels (Tempe Diablo Stadium)
Lexus